


Little Girl Lost

by mcc0313



Category: Gilmore Girls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:50:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcc0313/pseuds/mcc0313
Summary: This is a AU / Alternative History. For storyline purposes Stars Hollow is a small town on the outskirts of New York City. Endgame is Rogan but it is also a story about Rory's life. Also Lorelai while she will appear she is totally not the Lorelai that we know from the show.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a pretty crazy schedule but I will post at least once a week and additional chapters when I can. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1 – Stars Hollow, NY  
Rory closed the door to Stars Hollow Books for the last time. It was kind of bittersweet as the bookstore had not only been where she worked part-time since she arrived in Stars Hollow, but Andrew had become a good friend and also an enabler in terms of her book addiction. Not only did he pay her well, but her salary included two books a paycheck. Fifty-two weeks a year times four years definitely allowed her to build up quite a little library.  
She started to walk down the quiet street, heading towards home when she looked back and saw Andrew standing outside the bookstore with a smile. She waved back to him once last time, still clutching the gift bag he had supplied her with as she turned in her key after her last shift. Inside lay a first edition copy of “Pride and Prejudice”, once of her favorite books and a Barnes and Noble gift card for $500. She had laughed first, knowing Andrew’s opinion on the big named books stores and then gave him a heartfelt hug, when he told her that while his shelves would always be waiting for her, he knew Barnes and Noble had a better supply of textbooks.

  
She walked slower tonight knowing that tomorrow she would be starting a new adventure and there was a good chance that she would not be returning here for a while or maybe longer. The fact was Stars Hollow was where she lived, but it wasn’t home. True it was the first place where she felt safe in her short 18 years of life, it was the first place that was not temporary, the first place where she did not get carted off from as soon as she settled but home….no that was something she was still searching for, something that had alluded her throughout her life, but something she wanted more than anything.  She stopped in front of Doose’s Market and knocked on the window. The brown haired boy turned and smiled and walked towards the door to unlock it.

  
“So last shift?” Dean her friend from school asked her.

  
“Yes, it’s strange, I mean the bookstore has been my home every day after school for four years and now…well I guess I don’t know what I will be doing everyday once classes are over. I am assuming I will find myself a nice little cubicle at the library and stake my claim” she said with a laugh. If anyone understood Rory’s crazy commitment to studying it would be Dean. He had gotten roped into being her study partner in freshman year and never strayed during their four years at Stars Hollow High and their classes that they took at Chilton as part of an advanced placement group of students. Heck if it wasn’t for her he probably would never have done as well as he did earning himself a partial scholarship to Cal-Tech for Engineering.  
“Don’t forget to find yourself a good coffee shop, you will need one for your all-night study sessions and maybe try to have some fun too” he told her truly concerned that his friend would spend the next four years hibernating in the library, never allowing anyone to see the amazing girl she was inside, the person no one really knew existed except for a small group of people who had finally earned her trust. He was glad he was one of them, knowing full well how much that trust meant, it was not something that came easy for Rory, not that he blamed her. She had overcome so much, turned all the negative energy that shaped her life and instead of using it as an excuse to wallow to give up she instead was a beautiful, caring, passionate about her beliefs, and smart….really, really smart. Not only was she valedictorian at Stars Hollow High but she received a special award at Chilton for her straight A average in their advanced placement classes.

  
“Hey I am a party animal, who do you know that can throw a movie marathon like I can?” she said with a laugh.

  
“That is true, I don’t think anyone can match your expertise in planning the perfectly themed movie night. I am not sure what I will do once I get to California” he said with a smile.

  
“Don’t you worry, I promise to email you themes and movie titles so you can plan your own” she told him with a laugh.

  
“Well I better let you close up the store. Will I see you before I leave tomorrow?” she asked him.

  
“I will be there for breakfast, I promise” he told her.

  
“Well ok then. I will see you tomorrow” she said with her usual trademark grin that he was lucky enough to see on a regular basis, something that he would miss when he was across the country. But underneath the smile he saw her fear, the insecurity….

  
“We will talk all the time I promise, and like you said I am an email away. You are going to be fine Rory, better than fine” he told her taking her hand.

  
“I am going to miss you though, I mean who else is going to listen to all the crazy things that go through my head” she told her best friend.

  
“You will email me a daily synopsis and I of course will email you back with commentary. Plus I will be home during the breaks, I can drive up to see you, we can have all night marathons and you can tell me all the great things that you experience up at Yale. Rory, you are my best friend, 3000 miles isn’t going to change that. I will always be here for you” he told her.

  
“I know…and I will always be here for you, plus you will have to make sure I get a picture and a biography of any girl you consider dating. You cannot be trusted after your last few girlfriends, especially Lindsey, can you picture if you were still dating her? She would probably have sent you to Cal Tech with a shirt marking you her property”.

  
“That she would have, trust me breaking up with her was the best advice you ever gave me….even though I should have listened to your advice before I actually dated her” he said laughing. She was right, he had made some terrible choices in the girlfriend department. “I promise I will send full files on any girl I meet”.

  
“Ok deal, I will keep a private investigator on standby, you never know what they may be hiding” she said.

  
“That goes both ways Rory. Don’t hide from meeting people, you are an amazing girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you for a girlfriend so don’t hide ok….and if any guy bothers you, I will get on the next plane out. I will kick his sorry ass, no one treats my best friend badly without having to deal with me” he said with a fake macho attitude.

  
“Ok down boy, I don’t think you will have any asses to kick. I am not going to Yale to meet a guy, I am going to get an education and…..”

  
“Rory, you will find where you belong. I know you will. You have come too far…”

  
“Maybe. Even if I don’t I will have a great education and then I can travel the world and write about all my experiences”.

  
“You will and when you are a famous journalist I will get to say, I know her….she is my best friend” he told her as he took her in his arms and gave her a tight hug. God he would miss her, she had truly made a place in his heart since the day he met her four years ago. He could remember the day he saw her. His first day at Stars Hollow High, they were both in the freshman orientation and he saw her standing alone in a corner. Baggy clothes, her bangs covering her face…but then she had looked up and her big blue eyes caught his. They were the most expressive eyes he had ever seen, but what he saw broke his heart. Such pain and sadness. He knew that day that he would befriend her and while most of his friends made fun of him over the past four years about his best friend and his hidden feelings, the fact was his feelings for her were pure. True she was beautiful and kind, sweet and compassionate but it became very clear to him that she would never be his girlfriend. No, she became more. His best friend, the one person he shared all his secrets with, she became his second little sister, even though technically he was only two months older than her. He loved her truly…but he was not in love with her. He probably could have if he had let himself but he never allowed himself to look at her like that. That was not what she needed, she needed a friend and over the past four years he also realized that even if he had tried it never would have gotten anywhere. First off, she wasn’t ready….there was too much pain and mistrust for her to allow anyone that close to her heart. Secondly, they had different dreams…their lives would not ever have melded romantically, but as best friends they were perfect.  
He knew one day she would meet the person who was her other half….God she more than deserved someone who loved her unconditionally, who would allow her to fly but at the same time give her the security that she so desperately craved….he only hoped that when that day came she would allow that person in instead of hiding behind the façade that she hid behind, the façade she had created to survive.

  
Rory left Dean to finish closing up with the promise that he would see her tomorrow and she continued her journey through the town that had become her safe haven. She walked by Luke’s, the man who helped sustain her coffee habit and also her love for greasy burgers, even though he insisted she ate a side order of vegetables as well. He was cooking her celebration breakfast tomorrow and she could almost taste his pancakes and bacon….and whipped cream and waffles. She needed to get home, suddenly she was starving and she was sure that Mia had made something delicious for dinner.

  
She walked by Miss Patty’s Dance School, she smiled as she remembered all the recitals she helped put together. She was not allowed to teach the kids to dance, no that would have been scary, Rory was notorious for having two left feet, but she was great at putting together a show and Miss Patty capitalized on her talents.  She smiled as she stopped at Kim’s Antiques, she laughed at the trouble she and Lane got into there. Well to the average person the trouble they got into was pretty tame, but to Ms. Kim you would think she and Lane robbed a bank and kidnapped the Dali Lama. She had said her goodbyes to Lane last week as she was heading to Julliard for school and was participating in a summer program before her first semester began.  
Her stroll took her past the library, the video store, Gypsy’s Garage and then finally she turned up the path towards what had been her home for the past four years since she arrived there at the tender age of 13, so lost, so hurt, so scared. Searching and praying for just a few moments of peace…and she had found them here. A few moments turned into a week of normality, then into a month, a year. For the past four years she had lived what others would consider a normal life and she loved it but she still missed what she longed for…she still missed the idea that someone was out there missing her, that somewhere out there she had a family.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Independence Inn was a hotel for years before Mia the owner opened a second inn, the Dragonfly Inn five years ago. Many of the townspeople wondered why a second inn was needed in a town whose population was under 5,000 residents and while they had tourists, most really saw Stars Hollow as a day trip. That question was answered at the town hall meeting when Mia told the town that she was closing the Independence Inn as a hotel and that she had been certified as a foster parent and would be bringing home five young children. A year later she got recertified with the state and was able to bring in workers and the Independence Inn became the Independence Home where at any time of the year she would have up to 20 children living with her.

Rory had been one of the first kids that came to the home once Mia had received her certification from the state to house more children. She was what was considered a special case, a foster home had to have special certification for what they classified as the “sensitive” cases. She was also the only permanent member of Mia’s family. While other kids came and went, Rory stayed. She was also the first kid that would age out of the foster system in Mia’s care.

She remembered the first day she arrived. She was surrounded by social workers, there was even a psychiatrist on standby. She was bruised, battered and broken. The drive from New York City to Stars Hollow was a blur. One of the social workers tried to get her to look at the scenery, but Rory’s eyes did not see anything past the terror that she has faced over the past year in her last foster home. A foster home she was dumped in because once again her mother had found her and the social service department did a move and switch, a tactic to move a child quickly when their location has been breached by those deemed “dangerous to the child”. I guess they forgot to think that have the places they moved these kids too where dangerous just as much.

She had not even felt the car stop when one of the social workers tapped her on her arm and helped lead her out of the car. She finally looked up and took in her surroundings. Talk about a culture shock. The most trees Rory had ever seen was on a school trip to Central Park when she was eight. She slowly walked along the path with the social worker with the psychiatrist babbling about releasing her anger and starting afresh and then the door opened….

“Rory? I am Mia. I want to welcome you home….” the woman with the kind eyes said as she walked towards her. 

Mia was the first person in Rory’s thirteen years of life that she ever trusted. She also believed that Mia was a saint. Rory was so full of confusing emotions that it was a wonder that Mia’s head did not spin on a daily basis trying to keep up with her. But she has been patient, she had been kind and most of all she showed Rory love…a concept that Rory had almost thought was a made up Hallmark term used to sell greeting cards, not that she had ever received one.  
But through patience Rory learned that people could care and not want anything in return. That there were people willing to stand up for others, that there were people who showed love to each other. That there actually was something called a family. True Rory’s was a shifting one. Most of the kids that were there were gone within a few months of her arrival, and soon new children came and went. Most were younger, some returning to their families, others being adopted out. But even with the cycles of changes there were some constants in Rory’s life….Mia, Luke, Miss Patty, Lane and Dean. They became her little family and the love and kindness they showed her she gave tenfold to each of the kids that passed through Mia’s home. No matter how scared, how confused they were when they arrived….there would be Rory sitting on the porch to welcome them and let them know they were not alone. To Rory that was the most important gift she could give them….it was the same gift that she finally received when she had arrived and one that she would cherish for the rest of her life.

She walked in through the back door that led to the kitchen….”Rory is that you?” Mia called out as she came down the hall.

“Yes it’s me and I am hungry” Rory said with a smile.

“Of course you are. Which is why your dinner is already warming in the oven. Come sit, tell me how your last shift was at the book store” Mia asked her.

“It was strange, I mean heading to the book store after school has been part of my routine for so long”.

“It has, but now you will be making new routines” Mia said with a smile.

“I will. Of course Andrew had me redo the shelves in perfect order before I left, he said it will probably never look as organized again and he gave me a wonderful gift” Rory told her showing her the book and gift card.

“He will miss you and I will have to agree, those shelves will never be as organized again after you, but then again neither will my cabinets” she said laughing.

“I promise I will come back to organize whenever you need me” Rory told her.

“I am expecting it. Rory…just because you are aging out doesn’t mean you don’t have a home here. You always will” Mia said trying to hold back her tears. She loved Rory as her own, she loved all her “kids” but Rory was special, she touched Mia’s heart so….it also reinforced why she decided to take in foster kids in the first place.

“Thank you Mia….I, well it means everything that I would still be welcomed back”.

“Did you think you wouldn’t?”

“No I mean I know you would but….”

“What is it sweetheart?”

“Well I had my meeting with Sid, you know my exit interview from the program. He just made me feel so alone, like hey you are 18 now and now our job is done. I mean trust me I have no love loss for Sid or the system, well except that they brought me to you but it just felt so cold you know. Like now that I am 18 suddenly I no longer need anyone. Makes me realize what is so wrong with the system you know? I would think that this is the time that kids like me need the support the most” Rory explained.

“Well the system definitely has it’s issues, but the system has no say as to who is a part of my family and you my dear are definitely a part of my family. Don’t ever forget that” Mia said as she finally let the tears come and she took Rory in her arms.  
“I am so proud of you, so very proud of what you have achieved. You need to know that. You need to be proud of yourself as well, never doubt yourself. You are an amazing girl Rory, you are meant to do special things and you will. You have me and a whole town that believes in you…now you just have to believe in yourself”.

“Thank you Mia, you don’t know how much that means to me”.

“Oh sweetheart I know what it means….because it means the same to me. If I had ever been lucky enough to have a child, to have a daughter I would hope she would be half of the person you are. I love you Rory”.

“I love you too Mia”.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Rory closed the door as the last of her guests left the inn after her farewell breakfast. She was proud of herself as she did not shed any tears but she felt them welling up now as she turned back towards the kitchen where Mia sat smiling.

“Well I think you are definitely stocked in terms of coffee” Mia said with a laugh. Dean had supplied her with a Starbucks gift card after making sure there was one in walking distance of the Yale campus, and Luke gifted her with a coffee maker and enough ground coffee to last her through her first year of Yale, as long as she rationed. He warned her no more than 10 cups a day and she had to promise to counter the effects of the caffeine with fruits and vegetables. That just because she would not see him, he would know if she was not eating a salad with her meals.  
“That I am, I would be lost without my morning coffee” she said with a laugh, trying to hold back the sudden nerves that were plaguing her knowing that she would be heading up to Yale in a few hours.

“And what did Miss Patty give you?”

“A CD of her best songs, a DVD of the past four years of recitals and an envelope with some money so I could buy myself something special as much as I argued I was fine with money….”

“She is going to miss you, everyone is. Now you better go do something special with that money, do not use it for school supplies or anything like that. I know you already have money for that in your account” Mia told her. Getting Rory to buy anything was usually after a very long argument, especially if it was something that Rory deemed not a necessity which was how she categorized most items, other than school books and food.

“I will, I promise” Rory said as Mia stood up and motioned for her to follow her upstairs.

Mia opened the door to her room and Rory followed behind her.

“Come sit with me” Mia told her.

Rory sat down. “Is everything ok Mia?”

“Yes, I….well I feel like I am sending off my oldest born out into the real world so it is kind of a surreal moment. You know I remember the day you arrived. They had called me a day earlier to ask if I had room for another child. They did not tell me much, just the basics. They said they had a young girl, Rory Haymore, that she had been through some terrible stuff and that they wanted to get you out of the city. One of the social workers dropped off some files on you, my heart broke reading those files but nothing compared to opening the door the next day and seeing you. So shy, so hurt…all I wanted to do was take you in my arms and make all that hurt go away”.

“You did Mia. You gave me a family, you showed me love. All this, me getting a scholarship to Yale that is all because of you. You never let me give up. Before I came here I did not know what having someone on your side meant, and I was so scared to trust you, but you never gave up on me and I am so thankful every day that they brought me to you. Everything that I went through, it was worth everything because in the end it brought me to you. I cannot thank you enough for everything you did for me Mia. I will never forget all you have done for me” Rory said the tears she had been holding back finally finding their way down her face.

Mia wrapped her in her arms. “Oh sweetheart, you have been a gift to me, a true gift. You did not deserve anything that you had to go through, but I am so proud that you remained strong enough that you made it here….to me. My life will forever be changed because of you. I was lucky enough to get to witness your strength, your beauty, your compassion shine through. I am so proud of all you have accomplished, and I will continue to be proud of all you will do because I know you will make all of your dreams come true. You my dear are an inspiration”.

Mia just held her in her arms as they both cried. When Rory’s sobs quieted she pulled back and bit and smiled at her. “Now I know all of your college costs are covered by your scholarship, and you have books and coffee taken care of, but I set up an account for you….”  
“Mia, no…I am fine. I have saved a lot of my earnings from the bookstore and my counselor at Yale told me that there are a number of openings at the school bookstore so I will have a job”.

Mia shook her head….”You will take this money because I have been saving it for you. You know I budget well, and I took some from the state funds that I received every month for you and well I added some. I want you to have a little back-up money, not for books or food but for you. If you want to go out, or just treat yourself to something. Please Rory, I need to know you will have everything you need”.

“Thank you Mia but you have already given me everything I needed, you gave me love”.

“And I always will. Now there is something else. I want you to know over the past few years I have often wondered if I should just show you, but I needed to do what was best. You had gone through so much…..”  
Rory looked at Mia wondering what she was talking about….

“Do you remember the day they took you from the Miller House?” Mia asked her regarding the last foster home she had been in.

“Yes, I remember coming home from school. I saw Jess leaving the house so I waiting around the corner because I did not want to deal with him when Mrs. Miller wasn’t home. When I saw him cross the street I went to the house and unlocked the door and walked right up to my room. I dropped my bag on the floor next to my desk and turned around and she was sitting there.

Flashback

“How did you get in here?” I asked her.

“That nice boy Jess let me in. I told him I wanted to surprise you so he showed me where you room was and said I could wait. He is very cute Rory, so tell me you and your foster brother have anything going on? He sure had a smirk on his face when he talked about you”   
“Why are you here?” said Rory.

“I came to see my beautiful daughter, is this any way to act towards your mommy?” the dark haired woman said with a smirk.

“You are not supposed to be here” Rory said wanting to back out of the room.

“I have every right, you are my daughter. You would be with me if it wasn’t for you crying in the middle of class bringing everyone’s attention to you. Now I want you to pack a bag, Russ and I are staying at a hotel nearby and I thought it would be a nice time for a visit” her mother said as she got up and started walking towards Rory.

“I am not going with you. You need to leave. You will get arrested if they find out you are here” Rory said as she made her way into the hall with Lorelai following her down the hall.

Rory made it to the kitchen before the woman grabbed her….”You are going to get a bag and we are going to go have a nice visit”.

Rory pulled away from her. “I am not going anywhere with you” Rory yelled hoping to get someone attention. Mrs. Miller had a thing about natural air, the windows were always open in the house and the fact was, her block was a bunch of busybodies. At 3 in the afternoon there were a number of people wandering the street.

“Rory don’t make me drag you out of here. I missed you and I want a visit” her mom said reaching and grabbing on to Rory’s arm, dragging her towards the door.

“Get off me” Rory yelled again as the door opened and Mr. Miller waked in, Rory never being happier to see her foster father. While he definitely was not at all loving and social, he was indeed intimidating.

“Rory? What is….come here Rory. Let her go” Mr. Miller said.

“Look we can work this out. I just want to spend some time with my daughter. I promise I will bring her back, I just want a few hours to spend with her” she said with a sweet smile hoping to win over the man who was standing in the way of her freedom.

“Look Ms. Haymore, you want to spend time with your daughter, go see the agency and they will arrange a meeting. All I know is that I have the court papers stating you are not to be within 500 feet of where Rory is, and I hate to break it to you, but you are well in those limits. Now you can go now, or I can call the cops. Your choice but last time I heard you had an outstanding warrant from the last time you tried to snatch your daughter from her foster home, not sure you want another warrant again you. So what’s it going to be?” Mr. Miller said as he watched her drop her clutches on Rory’s arm.

“Rory come here” Mr. Miller said and Rory went to stand next to him.

“Now I am going to take Rory upstairs, your choice if you plan to be here when I come back down, but if you are I will be making a call. Come on Rory” he said as he pulled his arm around her and walked her up the stairs.

“You ok?” he said to Rory, showing more compassion than she had ever seen from the gruff man who she normally only saw at dinner.

Rory nodded.

“Ok, I am going to make sure she left and then I am going to call the agency. It is a standard procedure that I notify them if there has been a breach. I will come back up soon” he told her.

“Thank you” Rory said softly.

“You don’t have to thank me, I am just glad we got out of work early and I came home when I did” he told her before heading towards the stairs.

End of Flashback

“I stayed upstairs for about an hour before Ms. Miller came upstairs. She told me that social services were coming to get me and she started packing up my bags. I had dinner with them, it was just me and Mr. and Ms. Miller since I guess Jess was out with his friends. The cops came to take a report and social services came and took me to an intake center and then a hospital so they could document the bruises on my arm and the next thing I remember was coming here to you”.

“When they brought in your bags I took them upstairs do you remember?” Mia asked her.

Rory nodded. “Well one of the bags opened and some stuff fell out of the bag. I realized that it was not your bag…..”

“What do you mean it wasn’t my bag?”

“I guess when Ms. Miller brought your bags down she did not realize one of the bags was your mothers. She must have left it in your room when she followed you into the hall” Mia explained.

“What was in it?”

“Oh Rory, I went back and forth if I should call the authorities or tell you, but you were going through so much. I had to think of you emotionally and I just not sure that you were ready to deal with whatever was in that book. As you got older, stronger….I debated giving it to you earlier but in the end I decided to wait. There were some bottles of pills, I flushed those. I did not go through all the paperwork but there was a book, I only glanced at it, it was some sort of journal. I never called the authorities, I just stuck the bag in the back of my closet and figured one day, when you were ready I would give it to you. I don’t know if it will shed any light on any of the questions you have…but it’s time. Pleas Rory, please understand…..”

“Mia there is nothing to understand. You needed to know I was strong enough to deal with whatever I might find out and you were right, I wasn’t before. I am not even sure I am ready now but thank you. I have so many questions….I just, I”.

“You want to know where you belong” Mia said softly.

“I already know I will always belong here” Rory said with sad smile….”But I just can’t stop wondering if there was someone out there that misses me?”

“Then you will find the answers. You are my star reporter, if anyone can solve the mystery I know you can. Just remember Rory, you are not on this quest alone. I am only a call away, if you need me to come up to Connecticut I can”.

“I know Mia. You know I often thought that if I never figured it out there would be a piece missing in me, you know what I mean. But I just realized that even if I never find out where I come from or who I really am I would be ok too. I thought maybe if I did not find the answers I would never really belong anywhere….but I do don’t I?”

“You do and you always will”.

Later that Afternoon

Mia stood watching as the car service Rory called drove down the path. Mia had wanted to take Rory to Yale herself but Rory said she needed to do this alone. Mia understood. Rory needed to do this on her own, to prove to herself that she was ready to be on her own. Taking this step, it was a miracle that Rory made it this far without falling apart. Most normal people would with what she had been through.

Taking a deep breath she turned and walked in to the quiet house. Most of the kids were in school and would not be home for another hour, and her two youngest children were taking naps. She would take this time to start on dinner. Thinking of dinner she smiled to herself. She would make burgers, Rory always loved her burgers and she had passed her love to the other kids she thought as she pulled out the meat and started cooking.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Yale University

Rory stared at the boxes on the curb and tried to figure out how to get them into her dorm room without leaving the others on the curb. Maybe she should have not let the cab driver go without helping her, but he had given her the creeps. What she should have done was allow Mia to bring her to Yale. But she had really wanted to do this on her own. Prove to herself she was an adult and could make her own way. More than that she worried that if she had allowed Mia to bring her she would have ended up turning back around and wanting to leave…as much as this was her dream, she was scared. She was out of her safety zone, one that it took years to build up, what made her think she could do this.

Looking around she did not see anyone other than parents helping their kids move into their dorms so she figured her stuff would be safe at least for a few minutes. It’s not like it would be easy to run with a box that weighed a ton filled with books.

Grabbing her suitcase, two duffle bags and a box she moved slowly towards the door of Branford Hall. Not being able to see in front of her, she found herself blocked by an unmovable wall.

“Hey let me help you with that?” a voice said as someone grabbed the box that was blocking her view.

“Oh I am sorry, I did not mean to knock into you” Rory said as she went to pull the box back before looked up and saw a blond guy with deep, dark chocolate brown eyes.

“It’s not a problem, we can help you. Are those your boxes over there? Finn can you grab some boxes?” the guy said to his friend, who she guessed was named Finn.

“Are your parents at their car getting the rest of your stuff, if you just point Colin here in the right direction he can go help them” the boy asked her.

“Oh no, I mean my parents aren’t here” she responded not knowing exactly what to say.

“Then your car, do you have more boxes in your car?” the boy asked her. Granted she had quite a few boxes on the curb, but looking at the small suitcase and duffle bags he assumed she must have had more. He had seen some girls with moving vans full of stuff, his sister being one of them he thought back to the day they had dropped her off to school.

“I don’t have a car. These boxes are it” she said softly.

“Did your parents have to leave? Did they just drop you off?”

“I….no. I took a taxi and well, I kind of was happy when he did not offer to help. He wasn’t the pleasant of drivers” she explained.

Tons of questions roamed through his mind as he stared at the petite, brown haired girl, her bangs falling in her face as she tried to adjust the bag she was currently holding on her shoulder.

“Ok then, well we got this. Colin, grab some of those boxes there. Come on, let’s go get this stuff to your room. Do you know what room number you have?” he asked as he was already moving towards the door.

“I think it was 6” Rory said following the boy through the door.

“Great, that is the first floor , room 6 you said? Hey Colin, isn’t Stephanie in room 6?” he asked the darker haired guy who at the moment was struggling through her door with three of her boxes.

Placing them down where Logan had placed the other box he took a breath.

“What are in those boxes? Rocks?” he asked as he leaned against the counter in the common room.

“Books. I read a lot” she said shyly.

“Well if all those boxes are books I might never need to go to the library then. You could make yourself a pretty penny with a book rental business. Unless they are all those love story books that you girls like to read” Colin said. Rory trying to figure out if he was joking with her or being sarcastic. It was hard to read him.

“Uh no, don’t read much of those” she responded.

She turned when she heard a noise….”that’s right, you can place them right over there where the other boxes are” Finn said carrying a few boxes himself as he directed two guys into her room who were both carrying the remainder of her stuff.

Rory took a deep breath and turned toward the door. Inside she was shaking but she promised herself she would learn to be friendly, get to know people. She needed to get out of her comfort zone so she back at the three boys that helped her and put on a small smile. She was going to be social if it killed her.

The two boys put the boxes down and looked at Rory, then looked at the three guys standing there.

“Ok, you are done. Thank you for your time and remember, first party of the year, you got an invite. Berkley House, room 17. Tell then Finn sent you” he said as he ushered the two freshman out the door.

“Did you just send them to Robert’s room for a party?” the blond boy asked him.

“Yes Mate, he took me for heaps at the last poker game and I know he cheated. Serves him right” the other dark haired boys said he Rory knew was named Finn, or at least that was a nickname.

“May I sit love?” Finn asked Rory as he pointed to the couch sitting in the middle of the common room.

“Oh yes of course. Please all of you sit. I wish I had some beverages to offer you…wait, I have some bottles of cold water. I packed them before I left, figured I would need something until I could pick up a few things, not that I really know where the closest store is but I am sure there is one somewhere. I mean not that I will need much since I guess mostly everyone eats in the dining hall or orders in, which reminds me to any of you know of a good Chinese place, or and a coffee shop? I mean those are staples to get by, which I am sure you…” she stopped when she saw all three boys just standing there with their mouths open staring at her.

“Oh I apologize, here I am rambling about nonsense, why would you be interested in anything I have to say, I mean you have done enough helping me, it would have taken me at least three hours to get all those boxes in the room myself and….oh I am doing it again. I am going to shut up now and get you some water” Rory said as she went over to one of her bags and opened the zipper to extract a few bottles of what was now luke warm water.

“Here you go, water. Not much for all you have done with helping me and all. I am sorry I took so much of your time” she said suddenly blushing. She must look like such an idiot.

“Wow love, have you ever timed how long you could go without taking a breath?” Finn asked with a smile. He could tell the girl was nervous.

Rory shyly smiled and looked up at them and that was the moment that the blond boy noticed her eyes…the most amazingly blue eyes that he had ever seen.

“I kind of ramble when I am nervous. I’m sorry”.

“Quite alright love, I am pretty much a rambler myself and I have been told I am pretty confusing, now most of the time that is when I am off my face, I am quite the drinker you know. Nothing better than a good scotch to make the medicine go down they say. I am sure you know by now but I am Finn, Finnegan Morgan the IV, technically really the fifth, but my family tries to forget that my great-great uncle existed, he was the black sheep of the family you know. This man to my right is Colin, don’t mind his attire, we are still trying to get him out of the sweater phase and to try a t-shirt on, for god sakes man, wear a t-shirt some time” Finn said biffing Colin on the back of the head as Colin swatted him away.

“And this fine gentleman is our best mate Logan. He might be wearing a sweater but he does own t-shirts, I have seen him wear one. Of course neither of them are as exotic as me. I am usually the most exotic one but I think I have been beaten to the pedestal by you, our beautiful sheila. So now love, since you now know us, what can we call you, besides the fairest one of all?” 

“Me…oh yes. I am Rory, Rory Haymore”.

“Well it is a pleasure to meet you” Finn said as he took her hand in his and went into his dramatic mode as he kissed her hand.

He felt her shake so he immediately smiled and let go of her hand. Now he felt terrible, it was apparent she was doing her best to keep a straight face and hide whatever she was feeling at that moment. Feeling her hand shake he could gather she was nervous as hell. Which would be expected, here she was at a new school and it seemed not much of a support system since he had overheard her say she took a taxi here.

“It’s nice to meet you Rory. This is actually our friend Stephanie’s room, she is notoriously late for everything, which is why she is not here yet but she is really nice. You will like her” Colin told her as he took her hand to shake it.

“It’s nice to meet you Colin, Finn” Rory said as she looked over the blond haired boy who she now knew was Logan. He was standing there, just watching the introductions, almost lost in his own thoughts it looked like.

“Oh sorry, was just thinking of something. It is a pleasure to meet you Rory. Colin is right, Stephanie is a sweetheart. I am sure you guys will get along wonderful. Trust me she will be very happy to see you, last year she had a terribly annoying one, we were all surprised she made it through the semester. She would send us all these crazy text and emails, we actually thought we might have had to come back and bail her out of jail” Logan said with a light laugh.

“Text and email? You did not go to Yale last year? She asked confused.

“We took a year off. We should be juniors this year but our parents gave us one year to defer so we could travel. Stephanie cursed us out daily for leaving her at Yale alone, especially with her crazy roommate” he explained.

“Do you know who your third roommate is?” Finn asked.

“Actually no. I signed up for that email your roommate thing, but never got a response” she said just as the door burst open.

“You can drop the bags there” the blond girl said as she looked up and removed her sunglasses.

“You have got to be kidding me right? You are my roommate?” 

“I thought you were going to Harvard Paris, what did they do, hear you screech and decide to revoke your admittance?” Rory countered.

“I changed my mind. I should probably consider firing Terrance, it was his stupidity that talked me into changing schools. If I had known that our own Mary was here I certainly would have went to Harvard. I see you have not picked out a room yet, I am taking that one” she pointed toward the one farthest from the common room. “You know how I do not like to be disturbed” she said as she flipped her hair and motioned to the three men standing at the door with her bags towards the room she chose.

“Do you know her? And if yes do you know any information that we can blackmail her with to get her to leave?” Colin asked.

“Unfortunately I do. I was part of a program that allowed us to take certain classes at their school, part of an advanced placement class. The students there did not like us much, I guess they felt that we were encroaching on their turf, or something like that. She went there and as you can tell we do not like each other much.

“That was pretty obvious, but don’t worry love, we have your back” Finn said as the door opened once again.

The blond girl looked up and yelled…..”Finn, Colin, Logan what are you doing here? I was actually going to call you as soon as I settled in” she said turning towards Rory.

“Stephanie Vanderbilt, this is Rory. She is your new roommate, your other one is a screeching banshee, she is in there” Colin told her.

“It’s nice to meet you Rory. So how in the world did you meet up with these three?” she asked smiling as she shook Rory’s hand.

“I ran into Logan with a box and they were nice enough to help me carry my stuff in” Rory told her.

“Oh boys, look at you being so helpful, I think you should continue this trend and get us some coffee. You do drink coffee don’t you?” Stephanie asked her.

“Oh yes, nectar of the gods” Rory answered with a real smile.

“I think we are going to become the best of friends” Stephanie said with a laugh as she directed the boys out to the coffee shop.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rory walked in to her room and collapsed on her bed. A month in and she was exhausted. Between classes, working at the school bookstore and joining the Yale Daily News she did not have a moment to breath. Some of the kids in her classes were nice but she pretty much kept to herself, except for Stephanie, Colin, Finn and Logan. In their own ways they let her know that they were here for her if she needed something but without overcrowding her. 

Stephanie and her would spend hours talking in either her room or Stephanie’s. Usually about movies, or classes or food or coffee. Stephanie had told her a little about herself about how she knew the boys since boarding school. How her mom had died in her freshman year and she had to take some time off and that for the most part she did not have many girlfriends, too much drama. She told Rory about Juliet and Rosemary, two of the only girls she actually got along with. They were doing a semester abroad but she told Rory they would love her once they met her and she even suggested that when they got back to Yale that maybe they could request a room change, anything would be better than living with Paris, who had continued with her annoying remarks since the moment she walked into their dorm room.

Finn, well he had a class next door to hers on Monday and Wednesdays. So on those days he happened to find himself outside her classroom door and he would walk her to the bookstore for her shifts and tell her funny stories about growing up in Australia.

Colin, well he had become her weekend breakfast buddy. Unlike the rest of them who slept in on the weekends, Rory would still head to the dining hall at 7:30 for breakfast. Rory liked to keep to a schedule and to her surprise, so did Colin. So they would share a table, him lecturing her on what a healthy breakfast should consist of and Rory convincing him that Apple Jacks had apples in them so it should be considered healthy.

And lastly there was Logan. He was pretty much a total walking contraction. Maybe no one else noticed but she did. Probably because during her life she had learned early on how to read people when they did not notice you were watching them. When he did not know she was watching he was this cocky boy with a smirk a mile wild that left him with guys idolizing him and girls following him around like lost puppies. She overheard some girls talking about the Logan line and if watching him secretly told her anything it was that the Logan line was true. It was almost as the girls at this school had an understanding that once Logan paid them any attention it was time for them to move on once they had their five minutes of fame. Pretty crazy really and the thought made Rory blush. The contraction happened because while she watched him, really watched him while he was surrounded by his fans, both guys and girls alike, she often noticed that while he had a smirk on his face, he never reached his eyes. The only time she ever saw him truly relax was when he was his small knit group of Stephanie, Colin and Finn…and well now her. Their bonding happened each morning when she would leave her dorm and head to class and each and every morning there was Logan standing there was a hot cup of coffee. Sometimes they would just talk about random things, or the Yale Daily News. Rory still did not understand the shock that appeared on everyone’s faces in the newsroom each and every time he walked in and took his seat at the computer to write a story. Guess she would figure it out one day. Sometimes they just walked in comfortable silence, but each morning ended the same. He would walk her to her class and when she turned to say goodbye and thank you he would smile at her. A smile that reached his eyes.

In a way being so busy with school and work and her small group of friends, or at least she hoped they were, kept her from dealing with the fact that she was a bundle of nerves. A combination of being on her own, being away from Stars Hallow and Mia, the first place in her life where she felt safe, the lack of personal space and dealing with Paris and her annoying comments, at times she wondered what the hell she was thinking when she decided to do this.  
She could have stayed with Mia, gone to community college….but she knew why she did this, why she had to do this and she was not going to give up. She was going to prove to herself that she could stand on her own two feet, that the past 18 years of her life, which of about 15 she remembered in agonizing detail was not going to drag her down and ruin her future.

Then there was the other reason…Yale was in Connecticut and Connecticut was the one clue she had to her past. Or at least she hoped she was on the right path. Rory did not spend much of her life in her mom’s custody. She could count on her hand the number of months she had lived with her and in those months her mother had never been forthcoming as to anything about her past. Looking back now, Rory realized how much her mother had gone out of her way to change the direction of Rory’s questions whenever she had gotten up the guts to ask her one.  
It wasn’t until she was seven that she actually knew what her mother’s name was…Rory shook her head at that notion. She was in the second grade, she had been living back with her mother for about a month. They were staying in a one bedroom apartment with her mother’s new boyfriend. His name was James, that much Rory knew. In class they were learning about family trees and the teacher had the kids go around the room and tell everyone their parents’ names…when the teacher got to Rory she said her mother’s name was mom. 

Flashback

All the kids started laughing and her teacher smiled at her and said “well of course she is your mom, but what is her name? What does your daddy call her?’

“I don’t have a dad, so he does not call her anything. My mom has a boyfriend, he calls her babe, so maybe that is her name?” Rory said almost positive she had just solved the mystery.  
The teacher gave the other kids a Xerox of a basic family tree and had them start to fill it out and she took Rory over to the corner of the room.

“Well sweetie, I am sure her name is not babe, that is probably, well a term of endearment. For homework tonight I want you to find out your mom’s name and you can ask her some of your other families names, so we can start working on your family tree. Like maybe your grandparents, do you know what your grandparents names are?” the teacher asked her.

“I don’t think I have those either” Rory said softly.

“Well of course you do dear, maybe they just live somewhere far away and you have not had a chance to meet them yet. So this project will be tons of fun. You can take your assignment sheet home and your mom can help you fill it out ok?”

Rory walked the four blocks home that day, excited that she did have a family, her teacher told her everyone did and now she could find out who they are after she talked to her mom.

She walked into the empty apartment and sat down at the kitchen table and started her homework when James walked in.

He walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer and sat down at the table next to Rory. “What’s that you doing? Homework?” he asked her, slurring his words a bit, not that Rory noticed since he normally slurred his words so she just thought it was normal.

“Yes, can you help me?” Rory asked him.

“Sure what do you need?”

“Well I need to write my mom’s name here, can you spell it for me?”

“Why sure. Let’s try to sound it out ok. Lori, what letter does that start with?” James asked her.

“L….my mom’s name is Lori and it starts with L” Rory said excitedly.

“Good now what is the second letter, think about your name” he told her and slowly she had spelled out her mom’s first name. Lori. 

“Now you know how to spell your last name right? Well your mom has the same last name so you just write that” James told her as he took another swig of his beer as the door opened and her mother walked in.

“I was waiting at Walter’s for you baby” her mom said, slurring her words as well.

“Sorry babe, I came home to change and Rory needed some help with her homework. I will just go change now and then we can head out” James said as he got up and stumbled over to their room.

“Rory, you could not figure out your homework by yourself, isn’t that what your teachers are for?” her mother asked her annoyed.

“I’m sorry mommy, but I needed to write your name here, you see and I need you to help me write my dad’s name and my grandparents…..”

“What the hell is this?” Lori said as she pulled the paper away from the table.

“We are learning about our family and I need to fill in the boxes for homework. I did not know your name and the kids laughed at me so Ms. Daniels said I could do it for homework. Your name is Lori and mine is Rory we rhyme” Rory said with a smile.

“I don’t have time for this now Rory. James and I have to go out, I will finish this for you later when I get home. Now there is some cold cuts in the fridge for dinner, we will be home later” she told Rory as James came out of the bedroom and they headed for the door.  
“James, thank you for helping me” Rory said as James turned around.

“No worries sugar, now remember the rules. Don’t open the door when we are out ok?”

Rory nodded as she watched her mom and James walk out the door and she turned back to her homework assignment on the table with a smile. Maybe once her mom helped her fill in the blanks she could ask her teacher about how she could find out where they lived. She would sure like to have grandparents. The last people she lived with, Mr. and Mrs. Bridges were grandparents. They grandkids came over on the weekends and Rory was allowed to play with them. They had been really nice to Rory and they loved their grandchildren because they were always giving them gifts and hugging them.

It was late that night, Rory was curled up on the sofa bed where she slept when she heard the door open.

“No James, she is not going back to that school. What kind of teacher does that? She has no right asking my daughter who her family is, it is none of her business. We need to find a new place anyway, the marshals are going to come soon anyway, it’s been like three months since we paid the rent. We can find another apartment, a new school for Rory” Lori said trying to talk quietly but after what she had consumed in alcohol this evening her “quiet” voice was anything but.

“Lori babe, where are we going. I don’t even have that much saved up for a new place and you haven’t worked in a few weeks. I got an aunt in Bridgeport, maybe she could take us in for a while”.

“What have I told you James, I am never going back to Connecticut, it was bad enough when I lived there but now….I am never going back there. What about your brother, maybe he can let us stay in the basement, doesn’t he have that house in Brooklyn? That could work for us” Lori said before closing the bedroom door.

Rory never went back to school the next day, or the days that followed. They did move to Brooklyn, and into James’ brothers basement. She eventually went back to school and she formed a friendship with James’ brother. He was nice to Rory, always brought her some candy from his job and he took her to the library one day when she needed a book for school. Rory did not even know that libraries existed out of school, it was so cool, all the books she could want to read. After that first visit, it became a ritual on Sundays when James’ brother was off from work that they would walk to the library together. James’ brother liked to read too.

All was good for a while until the day when James’ brother was waiting for her when she got home from school. There was a lady with him…

“Rory, this nice lady, she is going to take you somewhere to stay ok? I wish I could keep you here with me but I am not home enough to care for you and it’s been days since your mom and James have been home”.

“Am I going to live with Mr. and Mrs. Bridges again?” Rory asked him.

“Who?” James asked.

“I lived with them before, when mom left. They were nice to me like you. Then mom came back with James and I went to live with them and I never got to see Mr. and Mrs. Bridges again”.

“I am not sure Rory. I really wish I could keep you here with me” he told her.

“Can you return my books to the library? I don’t want to owe the library money, I don’t think I could pay the fee. Do you think you could lend me the money if the books are late?”

“You don’t worry about that Rory, I will take care of it. But here this is for you. I bought you a new book to take with you and your favorite candy, Red Vines. Just remember only 10 pieces a day and brush your teeth after ok?”

“I will, thank you for being my friend….wait….can you tell me your name?” Rory asked realizing she always just knew him as James’ brother and she did not want to forget him and to not forget him she needed names. Her old teacher taught her the importance of knowing people’s names.  
He laughed a bit….”My name is Bill and I won’t ever forget you Rory. Thank you for being my friend as well” he told her as for the first time he gave the little girl who had won his heart a hug.

He watched them walk away to the car, Rory and her bag of clothes, one book and Red Vines and he cursed his brother and his girlfriend for hurting that little girl. Maybe this was for the best he thought, maybe she would find a family who would give her what she deserved, a family.

End of Flashback

That memory always stuck in Rory’s head. Her mother’s name was Lori Haymore and she had lived in Connecticut and never wanted to go back. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. Going to her closet she pulled out the bag that Mia had given her with her mother’s journals and paperwork.  
She had not opened it since Mia gave it to her…a part of her scared of what she would find, the other part of her scared of what she wouldn’t. But it was time…she had to start somewhere. Rory knew she would make herself a life without having a family. She had learned that family did not only mean those related by blood….over the years, however sporadic she had met people who had become her family, even if it was for a brief time. So yes, she could build a life never knowing….but she wanted to know. She wanted to know if she did have a family? Did they know about her? Did they want her? Was there someone out there who felt that there was something missing from their life just as she felt at times there was something missing for hers.

With shaking hands she pulled out the journal. She opened up the book and began to read…..

So today we were sitting on the steps as our parents blamed each other for the “issue”. Planning our life like we have no say. He just sat there, not saying a damn word like it is ok they are planning our life for us without our input.  
Then he opens his mouth and tells me it won’t be so bad. Getting married, living at his parents’ house while he works for his dad. That we were planning to be together anyway.   
What is he insane? We were planning to backpack around Europe after we graduated next year having one last chance at fun before starting college and taking over the roles that our family set for us the day we were born.  
I never planned to stay here that long. Long enough for my parents to dictate my life more than they already have. I am so sick of cotillions, even though my mother wondering why my dress was so hard to zip up was pretty amusing, lunches at the Club, the snobby bitches that I deal with every day at school talking about graduating and getting married and become a damn Stepford wife.   
Europe was supposed to be a way out for me. I had no intention of coming back. If he wanted to stay with me that would be fun but if wanted to go back, to what was waiting for him here in Hartford then It wouldn’t be like a would shed any tears.  
Sure we have fun, the sex, yeah it is ok. I am sure it is supposed to last longer but hey it is what it is. Then that stupid stick turned blue. No wonder that stupid dress did not zip up. I have dreams and I am going to fulfill them and none of them include me following my parents path for me and now they wanted to put a rush on that path. At least before they had not mentioned me getting married until I graduated, now they were ready to throw a damn Vineyard Wedding to save face. Yeah like us getting married at 16 is going to help them save face.  
No I am doing this my way. Just need to make a change in the plans to include this uninvited guest. But it’s mine. I am having a baby. I wonder if it is going to be a boy or a girl.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

One Month Later

“Rory come on, the guys should be here soon. I want you to check over the food order and make sure I ordered enough” yelled out Stephanie.

“I’ll be out in a minute” Rory called out as she turned back to her phone call.

“So you are being beckoned” Dean said laughing.

“Yeah well, it’s the first movie night where we invited the guys to join and I left Stephanie to order the food so she wants me to check the order” Rory explained.

“And what movies to you have on the list for tonight?” he asked.

“Well since it is the guys first movie marathon I figured I would add some action, so we have the original Godfather, China Town and Scarface” Rory said with a smile.

“Ahh….gangster night. So I am guessing Italian on the menu?”

“Of course, but so is Chinese, I mean can’t watch China Town without having the opposing food groups” she told him.

“That was a terrible West Side Story remake, what made you chose that movie?”

“I wanted Chinese so it fit into the theme” she answered with a smile, one even though he could not see he could picture.

“So noted. I will keep that movie under advisement for my next marathon. You sound happy”.

“I’m…well I love my classes and I really love working on the newspaper and Stephanie has turned out to be a great friend….”

“And the guys, any of them stand out in a special way?” Dean asked deciding just to chance the question.

“Stop Dean, they are just friends. You know I am not looking for that. I just want to get my education and maybe….”

“I know Rory, but you don’t have to choose one or the other. There is nothing wrong with finding someone special Rory. You are enough, you know that”.

“I don’t even know who I am Dean, and I am not talking about who my family might be, I mean me Dean. That is what the whole college experience is supposed to be right? Finding out who you are? What you want out of life?”

“Well you already know what you want to be, and deep down you will realize who you are. We all do. But ok, just friends, friends are good. Is Paris still annoying you?”

“I pretend she does not exist and it usually works, well when she is not screeching” Rory told him as the door opened and Stephanie opened the door.

“Sorry Steph, I will be out in a minute” Rory told her.

“No worries, did not realize you were on the phone. Just wanted to let you know the food came and I think I over ordered. I need to get better at this, but at least we will have leftovers for tomorrow” she said with a laugh before backing out of the room and closing the door.

“Well I better let you get to it. I know how a Haymore girl gets if her movie night isn’t perfectly set up perfectly”.

“Yeah, I have trained Stephanie well, I think she is getting the hang of it, but I better go check”.

“Ok, well email me tomorrow and let me know how the boys stood up to a Haymore marathon….you know it takes a strong person to make it to the third movie before the sugar coma sets in”.

“I will, have fun on your date”.

“I told you it’s not a date, we are studying” Dean said with a laugh.

“Ok, call it that if it makes it easier for you. But I want a full report tomorrow” Rory told him.

“I will, I promise. I will give you a full review of chapter three tomorrow, it should be very interesting, you know there are like a dozen kinds of HVAC systems”.

“I am yawning now at your talk about electrical equipment” Rory told him.

It’s mechanical equipment but I will let you slide on that one. Just go have fun”.

“Thanks, you too. Talk to you tomorrow”.

“Always” Dean said before hanging up the phone.

**Hartford Country Club**

“Mitchum, it is good see you” Dean Hardy said as he walked over to the bar where Mitchum was nursing a scotch.

“John, always a pleasure, please join me” Mitchum told him.

“I will, thank you. I have a few minutes at least until Marlene gets here. After 30 years of marriage, she still is fashionably late. I really need to start telling her to meet me for dinner 30 minutes before our reservation time” he told Mitchum with a laugh.

“She might want to teach Shira the art of being fashionably late.  That woman is always so damn punctual, I feel like she is standing there with a stop watch whenever I have her waiting for more than a minute” Mitchum said as he took a sip of his drink.

“You know, I am glad I ran into you” John said.

Mitchum took a deep breath and waited….he could almost feel what was coming. He only hoped whatever hijinks Logan got himself into wasn’t going to cost him too much. After his freshman year, Mitchum should have just bought a building for Yale in payment for all the trouble his son was causing at the school.

“You know, when Logan decided to defer his sophomore year I was concerned. From past experiences I find the deferment not to have a positive effect on the student”.

“What did he do now?” Mitchum asked holding up his hand to the bartender to signal that he needed a refill.

“What he has done is a complete 360. I must say, I have gotten nothing but exemplary reports from his professors, especially the ones that he had during his freshman year. His literature professor actually wanted to know who this kid was who came back as Logan Huntzberger”.

“We are talking about my Logan right?”

John laughed. “While I will never admit this to a student, as you know we try to persuade students from not deferring a year, at least until after their junior year, and then it is usually a deferment due to a work experience that would benefit their future, but in this case I have to say I was wrong. The year off for him has paid off. Now don’t you going telling him what I have told you, want to keep him on the path he is on and well we know kids, once they know their parents are happy they like to go another route, but he is really pulling his weight. Yesterday I got a visit from Doyle McMaster”.

“Isn’t he the editor of the Daily News?”

“That is he. He came because…well he was wondering if we were planning to replace him. I asked him why he would think that and he told me because Logan has been in the newsroom every day since the start of the semester. He has actually turned in five articles already and he is going to have a top fold byline next week”.

Mitchum looked over at John, trying to hide the feeling of pride that was racing through him at that moment. The fact was he loved his son, dearly. He regretted the fact that business always came before his children and that his children probably believed that he loved business more than them but that was not the case. The fact was business was escape. His escape from a marriage that never should have happened. Escape from a marriage that he was stuck in until his father passed on or suddenly got dementia. Either of those options would allow him to finally gain his freedom but until then he was stuck. Work was his only way out. He thought it was better that way for his kids. While Mitchum had a good poker face, kids were intuitive, especially his kids. There was no way to hide the fact that he despised his wife and when they were together all they did was fight, that was not what he wanted his kids to see, to grow up around so HPG became his life, but now that they were grown he realized how much he had hurt them anyway by being an absentee father.

“I wasn’t so sure about the idea either John, but I was willing to give him the year. I remember what it was like, four years of Yale and then it was marriage and running the business, the year my father gave me to defer, well it was what I needed before coming back and growing up. I wasn’t sure it was going to be the same for Logan but I had to give him the chance. I am glad it worked out well. Thank you for sharing this with me. I won’t say a thing, you are right. If Logan knows how impressed I am with him, he might do something crazy and go blow up another yacht”.

“Ah yes, I heard about some of their adventures. I saw Andrew McCrae the other night at Luigi’s, he was there with his new wife is it?”

“Not yet but I am assuming she will be wife number eight shortly”.

“Well he mentioned the restitution the boys are paying to the Chinese government is it?”

“Thailand. Monthly checks for the next five years. I am just glad that we did not have to pick them up at a Bangkok prison” Mitchum said shaking his head.

“Well I see Marlene has finally graced me with her presence. It was good to see you Mitchum. Hopefully we can talk again soon”.

“Yes, we should definitely meet up for a game of golf soon” Mitchum said as he waved to Marlene as John walked towards his wife.

Mitchum sat there for a moment allowing the conversation he just had with the Dean to digest. A smile formed on his lips as he thought about his son. He should call him tomorrow, see if he wanted to grab some lunch. It has been a while since they had a visit. Logan hated coming home, and while his father’s escape was work, Logan’s escape was school. He would not bring up a thing that the dean told him, but maybe with a bit of prodding, he could get some insight into the school year from his son as well.

**Rory and Stephanie’s Common Room**

Rory heard the door and then the voices of the guys. She put her phone on the charger and took a deep breath. The fact was she liked the guys, she even was slowly beginning to trust them, but this was the first time they were actually hanging out other than a meal here or there, or a short conversation in the hallway between classes. Even the few times they stopped by Stephanie and Rory’s room, Rory noticed they never overstayed their welcome. It was almost as if they wanted to say hi, but also give her space. She was thankful, whether that was just their usual M.O when visiting Stephanie, or if they were just intuitive and picked up on some of Rory’s insecurities, the fact was whatever the reason it was just what Rory needed. She liked hanging out with them, but she liked hanging out in short doses. They only person she felt comfortable around for longer periods of time since she got here was Stephanie. For whatever the reason they had bonded and Rory felt comfortable around her.

So as nervous as she was for the fact that if the boys did actually make it through the whole marathon they would be here for more than six hours, she was ready for a break. With two months down since the start of school, classwork had kept Rory busy. Mix that up with work and her time at the Daily News and well her schedule was pretty full and now whatever free time she had was trying to get some more clues out of her mom’s stuff. So Rory was definitely pushing herself to the limit and she needed to just relax, she knew that but it was so hard for her to just get her mind to stop, even for a few minutes. So she was going to do this and have fun.

Rory looked around the room as the final credits rolled past her on the TV. Glancing over at her friends she had to laugh as Stephanie was asleep against a sleeping Colin’s shoulder and Finn was asleep, or passed out, she was not sure which one on the recliner. Turning to Logan she smiled…”I am impressed Huntzberger, I would have thought you would have been asleep like the rest of them by midway through the second movie”.

Logan smiled at her….hypnotized by the smile that graced her face. Her had gotten to see some shy, half smiles, even an almost smile a few weeks ago as she drank her coffee, but this smile, well it just took over her face and lit up her eyes and it was breathtaking. Shaking himself out of his stupor, and not wanting to make her self-conscious as he was sure he was staring at her with a idiotic look on his face he responded. “I think the trick is a good balance between protein and sugars. I see how your combinations if used correctly could definitely assist in getting you through three movies. Plus, well your commentary, well I found it a combination of amusing and well, pretty well thought out Haymore”.

“Well I am glad I could entertain you” Rory told him.

“That you did. I hope we can do it again, I really did have a good time. I would even sit through the Godfather again if we could pair it up with Part III, I could do without the second one, but the death scene in III, definitely good drama”.

“That is one of my favorite scenes too. I am sure another marathon could be scheduled sometime”.

“I hope so” Logan said with a soft smile. “Well I should get these two lightweights up and off your couch so you and Stephanie can get some sleep” Logan told her as he stood up to wake up his friends.

Suddenly the door opened….”Well look what we have here. Aren’t you the little social butterfly” Paris said as she entered the room. She smirked behind her at the door and then at Rory as Colin, Finn and Stephanie all awoke listening to Paris’s annoying voice booming throughout the common room.

“They were just leaving Paris, we won’t interrupt your beauty sleep” Rory said to her as she turned and then she froze.

“Well, you were right Paris, our little Mary has become Yale’s little socialite, oh wait a minute, to be a socialite that would mean one would have to be from a wealthy, privileged family so I guess that leaves you out Mary as you definitely aren’t wealthy, or privileged….oh wait, you don’t even have a family isn’t that right? Do your new friends know that they are lowering themselves with a commoner, or I would have to say even lower than that since who knows where you really come from?” Tristan Dugrey, the bane of her existence from Chilton said with a smirk as he stood next to Paris.

Rory felt the tears welling up in her eyes but she was not going to let them get to her. She stood her ground at Chilton and she would stand her ground here, even though at the moment the idea of the ground swallowing her up sounded like a good idea. At least that way she would not have to turn around and see the reaction of her friends, or the people she hoped would still be here friends now after what Tristan just said.

“Well if being a socialite means I would have to act like a snotty, privileged bitch like you or Paris, then I much rather be who I am” she said trying to keep her emotions from showing on her face.

“Oh how sweet, trying to be proud of your lowly upbringing. Can you even call it an upbringing, I mean one would have to have parents to raise them to have an upbringing. How is your mom Mary, has she stopped by recently” Paris said with a laugh.

“Well one could say you had your nanny bring you up Paris and even she tried to stay away from you as much as she could. I did not see her the Chilton graduation, wait, I did not see anyone there for you when you stood up for your diploma”.

“Well at least my diploma says Chilton. What does yours say Mary”.

“My name is Rory, so if you are going to stand here with your cheap shots, you might try using my name. I know etiquette is a foreign concept to you but you might want to try it sometime”.

“Oh Paris, you are hurting our Mary’s feelings or wait, maybe she is not a Mary anymore. Is that why you don’t like the name anymore?” Tristan chimed in.

“What the hell are you doing here anyway Tristan? I figured you would want to stay away from the girl who you said must have major issues for turning down a chance with you? Weren’t those your words? Did you use some of your well used up lines and finally entice Paris here? It’s not like you really would need them, Paris was ready to spread her legs for you if you had only given her the time of day at Chilton, isn’t that right Paris?”

“You bitch” Paris said as she marched up to Rory to slap her.

Stephanie, Colin, Finn and Logan had stayed out of it as it looked like Rory wanted to take care of this herself but enough was enough.

Just as Finn and Logan started to walk towards them Rory grabbed Paris’ arm before it even could touch her and with her other hand she punched Paris smack in the middle of her face, the force throwing her back into Tristan who just barely caught them without falling to the ground himself.

“You are getting expelled for this” Paris screamed as blood flowed down her face from her nose as Rory stood there almost in shock from what she had done. She knew she allowed them to push her past the point but Paris deserved this, it was a long time coming.

“Not if it was self-defense” Logan said as he walked towards Rory and gently put his arm around her to stop her from shaking. His arm around her felt oddly comforting but it only exacerbated her shaking. He leaned down and whispered to her “just relax ok, you are not getting in trouble for this I promise”.

“Well once I tell the Dean that I came to visit my friend and she was attacked in her own room, I doubt that the self-defense excuse is going to work. My father knows the Dean well. Trust me, if a Dugrey says that Mary started it, the Dean will believe me” Tristan said with a cocky smirk.

“Is that right mate, the word of a Dugrey will have the Dean shaking in his boots. Well while the Dean might know your daddy dearest, between the Morgan’s, McCrae’s and Huntzberger’s we have about two hundred years of generations floating through this school, I wonder who he is going to listen to first” Finn said with an equally cocky smirk.

Suddenly Tristan’s face changed, but he quickly erased that moment of shock as he looked at the three guys before him. “Well I guess we will have to see. Come on Paris, let’s report this, can’t wait to see who shows up as Mary’s parent to defend her? Does the agency send a rep when one of their kids get into trouble? Oh wait, I forgot, your birthday passed. 18 and all alone right? Don’t they cut the purse strings once you hit 18? Makes me wonder how you will afford tuition if they cut off your scholarship” Tristan said with a laugh as he pulled Paris with him from the room laughing at the look on Rory’s face. He knew the chances of her getting into trouble were slim but seeing the look of fear on her face, even for that brief moment was worth it. Bitch turned down a Dugrey, she deserved it.

“Picking on a girl, maybe you should pick on me” Colin yelled as he started after Tristan before Finn and Logan pulled him back.

“Leave it Colin, he will get his. Let Paris go cry to the Dean. I am going to make a call” Logan said as he looked down at Rory who was still shaking besides him.

“Come with me ok?” he asked her softly and he took her hand as he walked her to the other side of the room.

“You are not going to get into any trouble, and you are not going to lose your scholarship” he told her trying to hold off the look of massive respect he had for her knowing that she was here on a full scholarship. He knew she was smart but a full ride to Yale took more than just being smart, you needed to be perfection and more. He was duly impressed but he wasn’t going to bring that up now.

“I…I need my scholarship. I shouldn’t have let…let her get to me” Rory said trying to hold back her tears.

“You defended yourself. No one can take that away from you. She has been a bitch to you since the first day and you have been an adult and ignored her. No one could take all those remarks and just ignore them forever. I am surprised it took you this long, from the looks of it that punch, which was amazing by the way, remind me never to get on your bad side by the way, she deserved it and had it coming. So I want you to go with Stephanie and relax and try to get some sleep and the boys and I are going to talk to the Dean and let him know what really happened ok. Do you trust me?”

Did she trust him? Not all the way but she was getting there. “I do, I mean….I am trying to, I do a little”

Logan smiled at her….”It’s ok Rory, we haven’t known each other that long but the fact you trust me a little makes me feel good. One you will know you can always trust me, and Stephanie, Colin and Finn, you will be able to trust us all one day. We are your friends Rory, we stick by our friends”.

Rory nodded, the tears that she had been holding back were breaking through and she did not want Logan to see her cry.

“I am going to lay down. Thank you Logan” she said almost running from the room.

“Is she ok?” Colin asked concerned.

“Just overwhelmed. Stephanie, why don’t you go and see how she is doing” Logan said walking over to her. “Text me later and let me know how she is ok?” he added softly for only Stephanie to hear.

“I will. Call me if you need me to give my report as well. This is not the first time Paris has really let loose on her. She would not let me tell anyone but her starting with Rory is a daily occurrence” Stephanie shared with them.

“We will” Logan said as he, Colin and Finn walked out of the room and headed back to their room. Let Paris and Tristan go tell their tale of woe ot the RA, Logan was going straight to the source.

“Logan is everything ok?” Mitchum asked as he answered his phone.

“Yeah dad, I need a favor. Can you call Dean Hardy and get us an appointment with him tomorrow. If he asks tell him it is about the incident at Branford. I am sure he hasn’t heard anything yet but he will by tomorrow”.

“Logan, what kind of trouble did you get yourself into?”

“Nothing dad. You know Stephanie. She dorms at Branford. Well she has a roommate, she is a freshman and her name is Rory and we are all friends and we were watching a movie there tonight. Paris, that is their third roommate, well she has been starting with Rory since day one. They did not get along at Chilton and Rory has been really working at ignoring her but tonight she came into the room with Tristan Dugrey and they both really got on Rory’s case and said some really bad things”.

“Dugrey? God I hate Michael Dugrey and his son is just as much a jackass as his father”.

“Well they kept saying really mean stuff and Rory made a comment back and I guess Paris got upset, even though what Rory said was nothing like what Paris has been saying, but I guess Paris got embarrassed and she went to hit Rory and well Rory hit her in the nose. They are threatening to get her expelled and Tristan said that the Dean would believe him because who his father was….we told him to think again but I want to get to the Dean first thing tomorrow and let him know what exactly happened”.

Mitchum thought about the discussion he had with John this evening and almost laughed. Well at least Logan was on his good side recently.

“I will make a phone call now, I actually saw him at the club tonight and he just left so I should be able to catch him on his cell. Keep your phone on in case he tries to get in touch with you. If this roommate and Dugrey went to an RA then there is a good chance he is going to get a call tonight. Is your friend ok?” Mitchum asked. Logan was just a surprise a minute these days. First the glowing report from the dean and now….well he did not see Logan really friends with anyone other than his tight knit group.

“She is shaken up, I think she is just upset that she allowed them to get to her. She was really trying to hold herself together but…well Paris deserved it dad. If it wasn’t for the fact that we did not want to instigate even more Colin and both Finn and I were ready to pound on Tristan. They were just both so mean to her”.

“Ok let me make the call. Are you still with Stephanie and Rory at Branford?”

“No we are heading back to our room, I think Rory was embarrassed that we saw her get upset. Stephanie is going to be with her. We didn’t want to overcrowd her or anything”.

“No, well it is good she has Stephanie with her. Keep me update to date with how everything goes and well I was going to call you to see if maybe one day this week we could do lunch. It has been awhile” Mitchum said figuring now was as good as time as any to brooch the subject of meeting up with his son. Maybe with Logan calling for his help, he might actually get a positive reception to the idea.

“Sure dad, let me look at my schedule over the next week or two and I will let you know when”.

“Great, well I will make that call. Have a good night Logan and I hope all works out with your friend”.

“Thanks dad”.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and the kudos. I hope you keep enjoying the story.

Chapter 7

The past week had been a blur since the movie marathon incident and since then Rory had been keeping to herself. It wasn’t like she was ignoring the group, but she found excuses to get away from them as quickly as possible without making it look like she was trying to escape, which she definitely was.

It wasn’t like they were treating her any differently. The truth was, except for the next day when they each had to go and tell their side of the story to the dean, they did not even bring up what happened but she knew they heard what Paris and Tristan said, and she was scared that sooner or later they would ask her questions or worse, realize that she was not worth being friends with. So she did what came to her naturally, she kept herself busy and to herself, this way when they decided to walk away, she would already be prepared to lose them.

The only good thing about the situation was that she no longer had to deal with Paris. The dean gave Paris two options, change dorms, drop of the paper and take a month suspension, or transfer from Yale without any notes on her transcript. Paris took the latter, in her mind the fact that she was getting suspended over Rory, when a scholarship case, who Paris felt was beneath her got to stay in school proved to her that Terrance had been wrong, Yale was not worthy of her. From what Rory heard Harvard turned down her request for transfer so after a call from Tristan’s dad, a spot opened up for her at Princeton. All Rory could think was good riddance. She hoped that she never had to see either of them again.

Now she was on her way to the newsroom. It was after hours and she figured no one would be there since the weekly edition went out last night. The fact was this trip to the newsroom has nothing to do with an article but more about access to records that she could not get to on her personal laptop, but she was hoping with some of the added databases that the newspaper had access too she could find what she was looking for.

Since she had been keeping to herself this week she spent a great amount of her free time reading through her mom’s journal and some of the paperwork that she had in her bag. One of the documents was her birth certificate. Granted it was not an original, it was a copy and with that she hoped she could gain some additional information. She had to laugh at the irony that the bag has been sitting in Mia’s closet since she was 13. When she was 16 she wanted to take driver’s ed, but since she nor the agency has a copy of her birth certificate, and her original was locked up and could not be unsealed until she turned 18 she has to pass on the class. Not that she did not learn to drive because she did. Luke took her out driving once a week for the last two years and once she was able to get an original certificate, she was going to head to the DMV and get her license. Not that she would have the money for a car anytime soon, but just knowing she could drive was enough.

When she turned 18 she filled out the forms that the agency gave her requesting her birth certificate, but up until now the courts were having a hard time tracking it down with the information that she and the agency provided them so she has been stuck in limbo for the past few months, but now with a copy she figured it would be easier to obtain an original so she went online to order one….only to find that when she put in the information, the Bureau of Records said that no birth certificate with that information was ever filed and that she needed to come into the New York office as that is where it was filed based on her birth place information, with the copy so they could start an investigation.

Being that she had not had a chance yet to get to the Bureau of Records, a trip to New York wasn’t something she could do easily without a car, she figured she would take some time seeing if she could pull anything up with the information that she had though using some of the newsroom databases. She entered the building and was surprised when she saw the light on. She peered inside and saw Logan.

She hesitated for a moment and was about to turn around when she heard him call out to her…”Rory, hey, you ok?”

“Oh hi Logan. Yeah I am fine, just was working on an article and thought I would come in and do some research. Figured no one else was here but I don’t want to interrupt you so I will let you work and I guess I will see you tomorrow” she said as she turned to walk out the door.  
“Wait Rory please, don’t go. I could actually really use your help” he told her.

“My help?”

“Yeah, well I have been working on this article and Doyle did a review and gave me some of his opinions but, well I think his changes really change the focus of the story. I don’t want to make the changes but before I go and upset our faithful editor I wanted a second opinion, I mean if you have time?”

Rory was already running a pro/con list in her head. One side said run, this way he doesn’t have time to start up a full conversation and ask questions that she did not think she would ever be ready for or help him, limit the conversation and at least this way he did not think she was totally avoiding him. Taking a deep breath she smiled “I have time. Can I read your original version first, then I will read his comments? Sometimes seeing the red line in the margins distracts my attention. I want to get an opinion of your original piece before I see his comments” she told him.  
“Yeah sure, let me just pull it up for you” Logan told her opening up the original file and then moving out of the way so Rory could sit down.

“Thanks again for this. I am going to take a quick ride and grab some coffee, don’t want to be sitting here over your shoulder while you read. Then I would be just an annoying distraction, more than Doyle’s red lines” he said with a laugh. You can open the file that says revised on my desktop and that is the one with Doyle’s comments. I will be back with coffee in a few. You want your usual?” he asked her.

“Actually, maybe something with some chocolate, maybe a mocha Frappuccino?”

“With extra cream” he said smiling. “I will be back in a few” he added before he left her to her reading.

Logan came back about 30 minutes later and Rory looked up at him and smiled as he handed her the coffee.

“Thanks” she told him as he sat down in a chair next to her.

“So what do you think?”

“I don’t think you should change a thing, or at least not any of the changes that have to do with the context. I made a few comments of my own, basically just a few wordsmith changes I would recommend but this story is good. If Doyle gives you any push back I will go to bat for you if you need me too. This story is amazing” she told him.

A smile grew across his face, not his usual smirk but an honest to god smile. Logan did not get much praise, if he had to be truthful to himself it was something that he never received but hearing her words just warmed him so much. Who knew having someone in your corner could feel so good.

“Dennis really captured your story with his pictures. I mean they work really well. Did he read the story before he took them? Because it was actually like he told your story through the pictures he took?”

“Dennis did not take the pictures” Logan admitted.

“Really who did? I thought Dennis was the photographer for all the stories published in the paper?”

“He is the paper’s photographer but I took these pictures” he said almost on a whisper.

“Wait. What? You took these? Logan this is a gift, I mean these are amazing. To be able to tell a story without words? I am surprised Doyle never added you on as an additional photographer” Rory said shocked.

“No one knows, I mean that I take photos. It’s kind of a side hobby” he shared with her.

“But you are so talented. I mean you write really well Logan but these…why don’t you let anyone know how good you are?”

“It’s a long story. Too long for tonight as it is almost midnight and we have classes tomorrow” he said as she moved so he could save the work and shut down the computer.

“I am sorry that I kept you from your own research, if you need to stay I can hang around a bit and walk you back to your dorm” he told her.

“No you are right and it was nothing important, I can take care of it tomorrow” she told him as she stood up and grabbed her bag.

“I guess I will see you tomorrow” she said as she started for the door.

“Hey hold up. It’s late Rory, let me walk you to your dorm” he told her as he got up to follow her.

“I’m fine Logan you don’t need to go out of your way”

“Rory, please don’t fight me on this. It’s a five minute walk for me, come on” he said as they shut off the lights and locked the door.

They walked in pretty much silence until Logan stopped walking….”You really think the pictures were good?”

“Yes, they are really good. I hope one day you let people see how talented you are. You are Logan, you really have a gift” she told him with a smile as she started walking again.

Logan followed her until they got to the front of her dorm.

“Well thanks Logan” she told him as she turned to walk inside.

“Rory?”

“Yeah?”

“One day I would like to tell you about why I don’t let anyone know about my pictures. No one, not even the guys know about it but I really would like to share it with you”.

Rory smiled. “I would like that. I am glad you know you can talk to me Logan. I would never tell anyone your business, not ever”.

“I know. I trust you. I hope you know you can trust me, I mean…look Rory, I know you have been keeping your distance since last weekend. I just want you to know…it doesn’t matter if what Tristan and Paris said was true or if they were making up lies. You are my friend, nothing that they say matters, not to me or the Stephanie and the guys. We would never pry, I just want you to know if you ever wanted to talk, I am here Rory. You can trust me”.

“Thanks Logan. I do trust you. I mean that”.

“Good. Have a good sleep and I will see you tomorrow. I will be here with your coffee” He said with a smirk.

“Well then I will see you tomorrow for coffee” she said returning his smile before she turned and entered the building.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight into Rory and Logan's feelings.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and for the kudos. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 8 

“Thanks Maria” Logan said as he entered the house. He hated coming here his dad had called and asked him to stop by and he did want to thank him for all his help with the Paris situation.

“Logan is that you?” he heard his mother call out and he groaned.

“Yes mom, it’s me” he said as he walked into the parlor where she was entertaining.

“Logan it is so good to see you. You remember Marissa Fallon, Laura’s mom. It’s a shame that Laura could not be here today but I am sure Marissa can pass a message over to her for you if you would like” Shira said grinning.

“Don’t have any message to pass over to her mom. Hello Ms. Fallon” Logan said as Shira frowned.

“And here is Nora Thomas, Gloria’s mom. Gloria is actually here, she is powdering her nose but you should stay to say hi”.

“Mom, I just ran in to see dad, I have to get back to school, maybe another time” he said rolling his eyes which caused Shira’s third guest to grin. She herself could not stand Shira but society protocol and all. It was a blessing that Logan had turned out to be nothing like her or his dad. Shira was just plain painful to be around and Mitchum…well she often felt bad for him but well, he played right into his father’s hands. His mother Catherine never recovered after the rush wedding Elias pushed Mitchum into with Shira.

“Well you remember….”

“Mrs. Gilmore, it is always a pleasure to see you. How is Mr. Gilmore doing?” Logan asked without waiting for Shira’s prompting. He always liked seeing the Gilmore’s. They were such nice people, he had more than some great conversations with them both as they were both very enthusiastic travelers and Mr. Gilmore was an avid reader like he was. 

“Now Logan, I thought I told you it’s Emily and you know Richard has told you numerous times it is Richard for him.. After all this time and especially since we have known you in diapers” she said with a laugh.

“Emily of course” he said with a smile. 

“Logan is that you?” he heard his father call out. 

“Yes it’s me. Well it has been a pleasure ladies” he said before turning and walking down the hall to his father’s office.

He entered and closed the door.

“I am sorry about that Logan, I just came in a few minutes ago and I had no idea your mother was entertaining. I hope she did not bombard you with her matchmaking” Mitchum said. Shira was constantly trying to get Mitchum to set up a marriage for Logan with one of her society friend’s daughters. Even using the excuse that it turned out so well for them. He had to shake his head at that….it definitely did for her he thought to himself.

“I just ignored her as always, but it is always nice to see Emily. I really should stop by and see Richard. I have not seen him since a few months ago at the club. He had recommended a book and it was really good, I should go and thank him”.

“You should, he would really like that. Both Emily and Richard always speak so highly of you. But come in and sit”.

“Is everything ok?” Logan asked. He and his father really did not have a close father / son relationship, but he did know his father cared and he was always thankful that he totally understood Logan’s lack of visits to the house, he probably did as he was hardly ever home either.

“Oh yes, it’s fine. I just…well I feel like we don’t really get to talk and I really want to change that. You were away last year and I know we spoke a bit when you returned when we discussed the boating incident….”

“I am really sorry about that dad. I did not mean to cause you so much trouble with that” he said meaning everything he said. Yes last year was designated as a yearlong party for him Finn and Colin and party they did but his dad let him go without an argument, he really did not mean to cause issues while he was traveling that his father then had to fix.

“I know Logan. If I thought it was done on purpose then I probably would not have been so understanding but I have been there. I did my partying and I know sometimes things just get out of hand. But you learned your lesson and you have been responsible with your restitution. I did not mean for you to think I was bringing up the situation again to harp on it. I just meant we spoke then and we have had a few phone calls, but….well I would like to catch up every once in a while. See how school is doing, how you are doing. Look Logan I know you hate coming here, I don’t blame you. I also know I basically abandon you and Honor in this house when you were growing up. I might not say it enough but I am sorry I was not here for both of you. I missed a lot and I have regrets. It was never you or Honor, I hope you know that”.

“Dad I know. Trust me if I could have escaped years ago I would have too. But we had Maria and then thankfully boarding school. Look I know you care about us dad. I know your life was not easy for you”.  
Mitchum smiled at his son….”No it wasn’t. But I got you and Honor out of the situation and I regret that I allowed my unhappiness to end up with me not being around when you needed me, but I really want to make a serious effort in touching base every once in a while. Not here, I actually would have had you meet me at the club but I knew I had to come home for a call and…..”

“I would like that dad. I would rather not have to come here but we can meet at the club, or at Yale. I can even meet up with you one evening in the city, maybe we could have dinner and talk”.

“That would be great Logan….I…..Logan I know I have not said it enough, or probably not ever but I am proud of you. Of the man you are becoming” he told him and Logan saw honesty in his father’s eyes.

“Thank you dad. I am trying. Freshman year, well you know what it is like, first year of college and all and I think that having the year to travel helped. I mean we had fun, and yeah I partied but I also spent a lot of time thinking about my future and where I want to go and I am really making an effort this year. I have been going to class, more than once a week” he said with a laugh before continuing “and I have been writing, I had a few articles published already” he added.

“I would love to read them, if you don’t mind” Mitchum said.

“Ok, next time we meet up I will bring them over. The first few were you know nothing special. Basic filler articles but it was good to get my feet back in the door so to speak. I kind of regret not writing more my freshman year. But I have a byline coming out, I really worked hard on it. I was kind of upset because Doyle read over it and made a ton of changes and…well I am fine with positive criticism but his changes really changed the whole focus of the story. So I had Rory read it over and….”

“Rory, your friend Rory who is roommates with Stephanie? She is on the paper too?” he said curiously.

“Yes, that Rory. I meant to tell you thank you for all your help with the situation. I had only been there for that one argument but Stephanie actually told me it was almost every day that Paris got in her face and that Rory had been ignoring it but…well after seeing it in person, I am surprised Rory had been ignoring it for as long as she did”.

“You are welcome but I did not do much. Just brought it to the attention of John. He did fill me in and told me that Paris decided to transfer to Princeton. From what I heard it cost her parents quite a bit of money on top of the good work Michael Dugrey put in for her”.

“Well Rory is much happier, more relaxed. They actually spoke to the Dean and when Juliet and Rosemary come back from their semester aboard they will be moving into the room, so for now it is just Rory and Stephanie”.

“Well I am glad it worked out. So she is on the paper?”

“She is and she is really talented dad. Her stuff is amazing. We spend a lot of time in the newsroom, she is really a research hound and a lot of her tips have really helped me plus she gives me honest criticism. I asked her to read the article and also Doyle’s comments and she agreed, she told me not to change a thing and after a pretty good argument with Doyle he is keeping the story as is.”.

“Well I can’t wait to read it and I would love to see some of Rory’s stuff as well if she would feel comfortable”.

“I will mention it, she is pretty well…she is really shy so it might take a while before she is comfortable with that, she is actually a pretty big fan of yours. We had been friends for a few weeks before I think the name hit her and she realized who I was” Logan said laughing.

“A fan? Well then I would love to meet her one day, when she is ready of course. What is her major?”

“She is actually working on a double major. Political Science and Global Affairs. Her workload is insane but she is super smart and even on top of the courses she needs for her major she takes a bunch of electives, history and literature and ethics. We spend hours talking about…well just about everything” Logan said not even realizing the look on his face when he spoke about Rory but Mitchum saw it and he could not help but smile.

“Well I am glad she has you as a friend and I am glad you have her, it seems to be a good fit for the both of you” wondering if there was something more going on between them. Mitchum was not an idiot and he was also not deaf. He knew his son was considered the Lorathio of Yale and that woman just threw themselves at him. He was also sure that these woman hoped that maybe they would be the one that would get him to commit and that they would be the new Mrs. Huntzberger. The thought made Mitchum laugh, he might not communicate much with his son, but he knew that the idea of commitment was a foreign concept to his son, once that he had no intention of even considering but there was something there when he spoke about Rory.

“We are just friends dad. I mean….” Suddenly Logan felt weird having this talk with his dad, maybe he would be comfortable one day but today was not the day to express his feelings when he himself had not even truly admitted them to himself yet and he knew his friends did not have any idea.

“We are just friends. I really want to take this year and work on my studies and stuff. I mean I still go out but well a little less partying definitely is helping in the long run” he admitted.

“Well that’s good. I am glad you came by Logan. I will be in the city for the next few weeks, maybe you can come down for a night?”

“That sounds good. I will give you a call after I look at my schedule, let me know if there is a weekend that works best for you. Are you staying at the East Side apartment?” 

“No, your mother can find me there. I will be at my apartment” Mitchum told him.

“Sounds good. I will see you soon” he said heading for the door.

“Dad” Logan said stopping before heading out of the office.

“Yes Logan?”

“Thanks for calling and asking that I stop by. I am glad I did” he said sincerely.

“I am glad as well” Mitchum said as he watched his son walk out of the door. He leaned back and smiled. Maybe this would be the start of a good relationship between them. It was easier with Honor, as much as he missed her dance recitals or her shows and was rarely ever home, she was easier to reach when it came to apologizing plus even with the distance between them Honor always still made the effort to reach out to him. It was harder with Logan. He knew that there was a lot of responsibility that would be thrown on Logan’s shoulder, plus as a son…well he should have been there for him and instead he hid. Not a great role model for a boy who would one day grow up to be a man. And Logan’s past behavior was sadly not surprising given the kind of relationship he saw between his parents. Regardless of what Logan did Mitchum loved him, granted some of his hijinks had Mitchum ready to pull his hair out, but the other held on to some guilt that maybe Logan was acting out because of the lack of guidance he had growing up. But Logan seemed different, in a good way and Mitchum was looking to get to know this version of his son. 

Yale

“So what are your plans for the Thanksgiving break?” Stephanie asked as she and Rory walked through the quad heading back to their dorm after their last class. The air definitely was a holding a chill and it appeared that this was going to be a cold winter. She could not believe they were a week away from the break already.

“I am going to head home for dinner and then I have some errands to run on Friday. I was planning to head back up here on Saturday and get a heads start on next week’s classes. I have two big papers coming up. What about you?” Rory responded.

“I promised my dad I would stop by, then I will do some shopping but I also figured I would head back here on Saturday so maybe we can catch a bite to eat at the pub Saturday or Sunday” Stephanie said.  
“That would be great” Rory said still thinking back on what she had planned to do this weekend.

“I wanted to ask you something. For the holiday break, I wasn’t sure what you family did or how they would feel if you spent some of the holiday away, but Colin’s parents have this really nice place at this ski lodge and well a bunch of us usually go up a day or two after Christmas and we stay through the New Years. The guys and I wanted to know if you wanted to come. It would be fun Rory and we will be roommates and we ski, or not but they always throw this fun party at New Year’s”.

Rory was already formulating a pro / con list in her head. On one hand while she was doing better socially, she was not sure if she was ready to be with a large group of people, even though her small niche of friends would be there. On the other hand, while she had planned to stop by and see Mia and the kids for Christmas, she also did not plan to spend the whole holiday there. Truth was she figured she would go there for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and then hide out at Yale the rest of the time.

“It sounds like fun, let me think about it ok?” Rory said.

“Sure, you just let me know when you decide. Juliet and Rosemary will be there, they get back from their semester abroad a week before the holidays so it would be fun for you to get to know them before we all head back here after the break” Stephanie added.

“Ok, I just need to check with my family and see the schedule, but I am sure I can get away for a few days” Rory told her.

“It’s cold, you don’t have work today do you? How about we head to the room and order in Chinese? I could be persuaded for a Rom-Com if we add in some dumplings? Stephanie said with a laugh.

“Now work and dumplings sound perfect, along with some sesame chicken and egg rolls” Rory said with a smile as they headed back to the warmth of their room stopping to get a cup of coffee and the cart.  
On the way a girl stopped in front of Rory and just stared at her.

“Can I help you?” Rory asked.

“You do know there is a line right? Line cutting is not allowed”.

“A line? What are you talking about? Would you waiting for coffee?

“You think you are pretty funny right? You do know once you give it up he will be gone. Your plan to just hold out might work for a bit but sooner or later he is going to get tired of your innocent act”.

“My innocent act?”

“I am just saying, play by the rules. Take your chance and then move along, the rest of us have been waiting our turn” and with that the girl walked back towards a group of girls who were all staring at Rory with looks of annoyance.

Rory shook her head and looked at Stephanie….”Do you have any idea what the hell she is talking about?”

“They are talking about Logan” Stephanie said as they were handed their coffee and they walked into their building and down the hall to the suite.

“Logan?”

“You know that Logan, well I know you heard some of the stories”.

“That Logan is the Playboy of Yale and does not do commitment. He dates, sleeps around and then moves on. Sure I mean girls are always talking about him but what does that have to do with me?” Rory said as she shrugged off her coat and sat down on the sofa in their common room.

“Well Logan has….well Logan hasn’t been you know, dating. He has really been into his classes and stuff and well the “line of waiting girls” are getting antsy because well the line is basically at a standstill”.  
“Really, I have seen Logan talking to girls since the start of school”.

“He does talk, but that is about as much as he does”.

“Maybe he is just wanting to spend more time studying and stuff. I mean everyone has the option to change their life, maybe Logan is just making changes to his” Rory said.

“No you are right. Logan has said he wants to cut down on partying a bit and really get into his classes, especially after taking the year off last year and trust me Rory, I would be the first person who would congratulate him if he decided to give up his playboy persona. Logan is a really good guy and he deserves to find someone on his level you know. None of the girls he dates are on his level. Look I am not sure how much he has told you but Logan hasn’t really had a good role model into what a healthy relationship should be, which is why I think he picks these brainless idiots that he dates. There is nothing there which means he will be bored in a night and he can move on without ever thinking about commitment”.

“I am still not sure what that has to do with me?”

“Well since Logan spends a lot of time with you, the girls are thinking you are the reason the line isn’t moving”.

“Wait me….they think me and Logan? They must be brainless if they think that. I mean I am totally not Logan’s type. I am sure if they think about it they will realize we are just friends” Rory said with a laugh knowing full well that Logan could never like her like that. Not that she was looking for a boyfriend while she was at Yale Suddenly the idea that Logan would never see her more than a friend made her frown. She shook her head wondering why that thought even popped into her head. 

“Ok get out the menu Steph….dumplings are calling my name” Rory added as Stephanie took that as a sign that Rory was done with the conversation. 

“Let me go grab it I think I left it in my room the other night” Stephanie said as she headed into her room. 

Stephanie knew that a lot of people thought she was shallow and did not think of anyone past herself but the fact was that was the total opposite. Stephanie was very intuitive and she knew her friends well. While Rory might not think she is Logan’s type…well she would be right on one account. She definitely was not the type that Logan ever went for but she definitely was the kind of girl that would be perfect for Logan. Stephanie saw the friendship grow between the two of them. She never said anything as she did not want to make Rory uncomfortable, but Steph noticed that Rory was becoming more and more comfortable with Logan. Enough that she saw them a few times in the quad alone, just talking. She also saw from the window a few times that Logan walked Rory home later in the evening from the newsroom. 

She kept it to herself but a part of her was really happy. Rory never got into her personal life with Stephanie, but Steph was not an idiot. Whatever Rory has gone through was not pretty, she could see the nervousness, the shyness….the insecurities. She was happy that Rory was slowly trusting them, spending more time with them but she was really glad to see how Logan was around her. Logan was one of her best friends and it hurt her to see him hiding behind this façade of the person people thought he was or expected him to be. Knowing that none of those people wanted to know the person he really was.

So maybe it was being hopeful, but the blossoming friendship between one of her oldest friends and one of her newest made her happy. Maybe one day Rory would realize that she was exactly the type of girl that Logan wanted and Logan would finally find someone where he could let his guard down and just be himself.

Later that Night – The Pub

Finn watched his friend. Logan sat at the table nursing his drink, he would be polite when a girl stopped by to flirt, but one by one they left the table miffed that they did not get the reaction they wanted from the great Logan Huntzberger, Yale’s Playboy of the Year.

Colin was busy talking to a girl a few tables away, so Finn felt it a good time to finally figure out what was going on with Logan. Walking over with a fresh scotch for his friend he sat down and waited…

“What’s up Finn? Are you going to say something or just sit and stare at me willing me to say whatever you are waiting for me to say, which I have no problem doing if you could give me a hint about what you are waiting to hear?” 

“Are you feeling ok?” Finn asked.

“That is what you wanted to ask me?”

“You just….well you have not been yourself” Finn said.

“I am feeling fine and I haven’t been acting any differently than usual” Logan replied.

“Logan…there are rumors”.

“Rumors?”

“The natives are getting restless. You do know that they talk don’t you. I mean the line stays pretty orderly as long as it is moving but it hasn’t moved since the start of school. At first no one realized with you know the start of classes and all, but it is mid-November mate and people are talking about you either having some medical issue that requires you to you know….not be active or that you are secretly gay”.

Logan almost spit out his drink….”I either have a STD or I am gay? Because the line hasn’t moved?”

“Well erectile dysfunction is also a theory. That maybe something happened during our travels last year and that it is not working as properly as before”.

“I cannot believe that people are talking about my sex life or lack of. I have gone out, how would people know how much or how little I am performing it’s not like a post a report of my latest conquest every morning”.

“Logan, you are my best friend. We never have had secrets between us. The truth is you have not been with a girl since school started and while I know you do not have any medical issue and I don’t think you are gay, I mean if you were you know you can trust that you would still be our brother, something is up. Now hey if you just need a break I am all for that but for some reason I think that isn’t the reason that woman at Yale are in an uproar”.

Logan contemplated whether he should say anything but this was Finn, his best friend, one of two he knew he could trust with anything. Plus Finn was drunk, so it was highly likely he would not even remember this conversation tomorrow.

“Are you ever tired of just picking up random woman for a night of fun? I mean have you ever thought of you know, being with one woman?” Logan asked his friend.

“Well of course mate. If Rosemary would ever give me the time of day I would be committed in a moment flat, but alas she only sees me as her funny friend Finn so until such a day, I shall donate my good looks and amazing body to the masses”.

“You still stuck on Rosemary?”

“Of course, she is the only woman perfect enough to be Mrs. Morgan. I am hoping one day I shall win her over. I am hoping our separation these past few months might do the trick, you know what they say absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

“True, but if Rosemary comes back and you are still playing the field, maybe she will still think that your devotion to her is just a passing fancy. Maybe you might have a better chance if you, well prove to her that you are ready to commit”.

“Do you think that’s true? That maybe if I show her that she is the only one who can capture my heart she might give me the time of day?”

“Well I am not sure, but….you know if you spent less time trying to find a woman to fill your time until she is ready for you, she might be more apt to give you a chance”.

“When did you become Mr. Philosophical?”

“I don’t know, I was just thinking you know. I mean look I was the biggest playboy of Yale but I am tired Finn. Tired of meaningless nights with girls that I have nothing in common with. Do you know that I am drunk most of my dates by mid-dinner because I am so bored with the conversation at least the alcohol helps keep a smile on my face so they at least think I am interested. I don’t know, I mean our trip was amazing and I had a blast but in between being drunk and blowing up boats….”

“And the women Logan, don’t forget the women” Finn added.

“And the women I spent time thinking. About my future, my life, what I want”.

“What do you want Logan?”

“I don’t want ot be my father who was told who to marry and spent most of his life living at his office ignoring his kids because he hates his wife. And I don’t want to be a man who has the trophy wife at home and spends random nights with random women who can’t hold a conversation but at least they fulfill what I am not getting at home. I want to find someone who fits me Finn. Who I can talk too and laugh with. Someone I can share my problems with and my secrets, someone I can have fun with, in and out of the bedroom. Someone who likes me for me, not my name. I know it is pretty funny when you think about it as most society marriages are made up facades, they look great on the outside but are really empty and meaningless on the inside but there are good relationships out there. Look at the Gilmores, even the Haydens. They are top of society but they are happy and they have gone through their share of grief if half the gossip is true about what happened in the past. But they are strong together and they are in love. You can see it. I want that Finn. I want to find that person who I can fall in love with, slowly get to know, become a unit with them. I want a partner, a friend and a lover all in one. I just….well I figure if I am going to find that one I need to make changes in my life. I mean what girl is going to want to fall in love with me when I have women lining up at my door. So I have decided to take a step back, pass on the torch of being Yale’s playboy to the others. I want to concentrate on me and finding that person, being friends with them, getting to know them and maybe…if it’s meant to be, make it more”.

Finn who had been close to being drunk was totally sober after listening to Logan’s speech and it made him even more sure that what he had been thinking was true.

“So you are into Rory aren’t you?”

Logan looked up shocked…”What? How did anything I said have to do with Rory?”

“Oh Logan, I might be the group drunk but I am far more intuitive then people give me credit for. You are my best friend. I have watched you since high school be this person that everyone made you out to be which was the farthest thing from the person you really are. You don’t think I realize what is under those smiles and the cocky attitude. You don’t think I realize what you dad being MIA most of your life had done to you, or what you watched between your parents the random times that he was in the house with you as a family. I lucked out, well for the most part. I mean my dad might be a bit insane but he loves my mother and she loves him back. Granted she might want to lock him up at times with his crazy antics but I have never seen my dad’s eyes roam to any woman other than my mom. He was home for every holiday, he came to my sporting events, he went to every one of my sister’s recitals. Why do you think I don’t commit to anyone. Because I see what my parents had and I want that. No woman has ever come close to being perfect to me other than Rose. Colin, yeah his dad might have been married seven times but regardless of the woman in his life, his dad is committed to being there for Colin. You never had that Logan…we knew that, we saw what that did. So you made up for that abandonment the easiest way you could, never letting anyone close enough to you to walk away. You don’t think I don’t realize why you picked the girls you did. You knew none of them would capture your attention, they were expendable. But she isn’t is she?”

Logan could lie, he could tell Finn he was insane but maybe he needed someone to share this with, maybe he needed someone he could trust to just listen.

“She likes me for me Finn. She listens to me, she laughs with me, she talks to me. We can talk about everything, she reads the book I read. She is so smart, we can talk about any subject…she is just amazing. I even think she is really starting to trust me. I won’t push her to tell me anything. I want her to come to me when she is ready, when she feels comfortable enough to share with me whatever it was she went through. But she is not ready for anything. I can see that, I can feel it when we are alone. I won’t push her Finn. I am happy just being with her as my friend. I won’t lie to you, yeah I like her and I am interested in her as more than a friend but I would never push her and well she still needs time. Could I still have girls on the side, I mean sure we are only friends but I don’t want her to see me as someone who just sees girls as a notch on my bed post and more than that…I don’t want other girls. It’s weird Finn, it’s not like I did not try. I mean when I first met Rory I was still dating other girls but, something was missing and suddenly that notch really did not mean much anymore. You think I am crazy right?”

Finn looked at his friend and smiled. “No, I think you found someone who matches you and you decided to grow up. I think you are smart as hell and Rory when she is ready will be lucky to have someone like you in her corner. But mate, it might be a long wait. She definitely has not had an easy life, I mean sometimes even now when I am around or I get to close I can tell she is getting nervous. I mean I can sense she tries to hold it back but….are you sure you are willing to wait? I mean what happens if maybe she does not ever feel that way for you?”

“I don’t plan to give up unless she flat out tells me she does not like me like that and I don’t plan to tell her that I do like her like that for a long while. Right now I just want to build up our friendship. I just want her to know she can turn to me and trust me. So promise me Finn, you can’t say anything please?”

“I won’t mate, my lips are sealed. You know, I am going to give this advice of yours some thought. I still have a few weeks until Christmas break and Rosemary’s return. Do you think if I double up with women until then it will allow me to hold off until the lovely Rose gives me a chance? I will be like a bear, store up on sex now for my hibernation? I think I can do that….I will start now, do you see that cute little redhead over there, I think I will go become her friend. I wonder if she would allow me a session this evening and tomorrow as well?” Finn said floating off to the redhead that was sitting at the bar and leaving Logan shaking his head.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for your comments. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 9

“Hey Ace” Logan said with a smile as he stood with Rory’s coffee outside her dorm.

“Ace?”

“Yes, that is my new nickname for you”.

“Ok…not that I mind a nickname, but why?”

“Because my byline was published in today’s paper and it was all because of you my Ace reporter” he said as he watched as she took her first gulp of her coffee and a serene smile played across her lips. For a moment he just watched her, he would buy her 10 cups of a coffee a day just to see that momentary ecstasy that played upon her face when she took that first sip every morning.

“Logan your byline had nothing to do with me. Yeah I read it and gave you a few words changes but that story was all you. It was really good and you deserve the credit, but I will allow the nickname. Now to come up with one for you” she said with a laugh.

“Come on Ace, no nickname for me and you did have something to do with it. I probably would have given in to Doyle’s changes so thank you for your support. It means a lot” he said softly as they started walking towards their class building.

“You deserve the support Logie” she said with a laugh.

“Oh no…you are not calling me Logie, that sounds like a poodle” Logan said making a face.

“I am just joking you are definitely not a Logie, don’t worry I will come up with something” she said as she smiled up at him.

“You know, if you insist on a nickname, Master and Commander would work” he said with a wink.

“Don’t think so Jack, but that might change if one day you to take me to lunch on the HMS Sophie, I have never traveled by boat though so not sure if my sea legs would stand the open water, we might want to do a test run” she said laughing.

Logan just laughed along with her, loving that she could figure out where the reference of Master and Commander came from and more so that she had read the book.

“Maybe I will one day” he said as they stopped in front of their class building.

“You might do what one day?”

“Maybe I will take you on a yacht for lunch, my family has one. It’s not named Sophie but I am sure it would not mind if we called it that. I mean not now or anything, but maybe when Spring comes. Stephanie and the guys could come too, we could make a day of it” he said adding Stephanie and the stooges to the mix thinking having them around would make her more comfortable, but maybe by then she might trust him enough to make the day just the two of them.

“That sounds nice, I have always wanted to go out on the water just never had the chance. It’s a date, the first nice Spring weekend you are free” she said with a smile that made it to her eyes. Logan always watched for those, it was in those moments he knew she was comfortable.  
“Good, then we have a date on the first nice weekend of Spring” he said trying to keep the goofy grin off his face. Rory actually just promised him a date in the Spring, granted he was sure she did not realize how much he really wanted it to be a date but he would take what he could get.

“My look it’s the line cutter, remember what I said Rory” the blond bitch from the day before said quietly as she walked by them heading into the building.

“What was that about?” Logan asked her.

“Oh nothing, she got into my face the other day when I was with Stephanie at the coffee cart, something about my cutting the line. If she stood on the line I wouldn’t have cut her I told her” she said with a half-smile and her eyes did not meet his, so he knew she was hiding something.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine Logan. I got to get to class so I will see you for lunch? Are we still meeting Finn at the pub? I have to work at 2 but I can spend a bit of time before I have to head off” Rory told him.

“Yeah, lunch. I will meet you outside your ethics class at 11:45. See you later Ace” he told her as he dropped her off at her class letting the issue drop for now but he planned to talk to Stephanie later to figure out what really was going on. Now that Paris was gone, he really did not want someone else to be giving Rory issues. The past few weeks since Paris left, it was almost as if Rory was walking lighter, actually being more social, more relaxed. He did not want her to start to feel uncomfortable again because of some society bitch. He let the thought go for a bit as he headed into his Global History class. 

Stars Hallow

“Joan, I wasn’t expecting you today? Do you have a session with one of the kids that I forgot to write down? Mia said as she let Dr. Joan Cummings into the house.

Mia really could not stand have of the people who worked in the Children’s Services System but she did like Dr. Joan. Dr. Joan handled much of the counseling sessions with children that needed additional support, Rory being one of them. Over the years Mia had grown to trust and like her very much.

“No, if we had a session I would have called to confirm. I…well I received some information and I had a meeting out passed you this morning so I figured I would stop by and see if you were available. I wanted to give you the information in person if I could”.

“I always have time for you, come in. I will make us some coffee. The kids are all off at school and the twins are napping” Mia told her as Joan followed her into the kitchen.

“I see you are already preparing for Thanksgiving Dinner, you have your pie trays out” Joan said with a smile.

“Well the kids love pie and…well it is Rory’s first time visiting since she left for school and we know how much she loves pie. I thought I would make a few extra so she could bring them back and share them with her roommate” Mia told her.

“How is she doing? Is she enjoying Yale? I was just so proud of her, after everything she graduated valedictorian, got the special award from Chilton and a full scholarship to Yale. You know over the years, as much as she was moved around her grades never faltered. It was as if school was her lifeline.”.

“School definitely was that for her. I know in a way it was what she hid behind, her books but I realized that even after she started opening up, making a few friends, she loved her studies. I think it was something she could control, she could either just float through school or make something out of it. And she is continuing on that pattern. She is loving Yale. The first week or two she called a lot. I could tell she was nervous but slowly she has been talking about her roommate and their friends. Sometimes she calls during the week but usually now she called on Sundays and she fills me in on what went on the past week. I know some parents would feel forgotten to only receive a call a week but to me it is a blessing, I think she is finally finding her way. I miss talking to her as often but….well her being independent was so important to her”.

“I am so glad to hear that. I knew she would do well, but it sounds like she has become even a little social”.

“Yes, she sounds happy, but I am looking forward to seeing her. She is good at masking her feelings over the phone but I will be able to tell by looking at her how she is really doing”.

Joan smiled….”You saved her Mia, you do know that. You will always be a mother to her, don’t forget that”.

Mia smiled but there was sadness behind her eyes…..”She saved herself. I was just lucky enough to witness what an amazingly, strong girl she is and the woman she is becoming”.

“Has she ever remembered?” Joan asked her.

Mia shook her head. “We actually talked about that day before she left. I gave her the bag” Mia told her. Joan was the only person who knew that the bag existed and she actually told Mia to hold on to it until she felt Rory was ready, she also told her not to mention anything to the agency as they would have wanted to take possession of it.

“What was her reaction?”

“I asked her if she remembered the day she came here. It was the same story she has told since coming here. That she got home from school, that her mother was in her room waiting. That he mother tried to make her leave but that Mr. Miller came home and took her upstairs. She had dinner and then social services came to get her, they took her to hospital and then brought her here. Do you think she will ever remember?” Mia said, a part of her hoping she would never remember but the other part of her fearful that if one day she allowed herself to remember and she was alone….it scared her to think of how she might react.

“The mind if a beautiful thing, but also one that holds a lot of secrets that we never understand. I am sure on some level the memory is there but it was a traumatic experience, she was so young. Too young to have dealt with all that that woman put her through. I think her mind processed what happened and then created its own version, something that a 13 year old girl could process and handle. Will the true memories ever come to the surface, I don’t know. Remember we tried hypnotism, and even in that state she would not reveal the actual event so if the memory is there it is deep down, deep enough that she might never allow it to surface”.

“Is it bad that I hope she never remembers? The sight of her that day is one I will never forget, I am not sure if I ever want her to remember what actually happened that day”.

“You love her and you hurt for her so no, it’s not bad. Is she talking to anyone at school, a counselor maybe?”

“No, I did mention that if she wanted to keep up with the therapy I could find someone close by if she felt that she did not want to talk to anyone at the school, but she said she was fine for now. I will definitely let you know if we need some recommendations. Now you said you had some information? Is it about Rory?”

Joan nodded. “You know we have been working with the courts to unseal her birth certificate. I know she wants to get her driver’s license and while we can petition for paperwork without documentation, I know Rory really rather just walk in with her own birth certificate and take the test”.  
“She has been hoping to get one. She has the State ID that was issued with the social service letter when she was 17 but that will expire as soon as she turns 21, I don’t even know how to help her obtain new documentation if we don’t get her birth certificate”.

“Well you know the courts are slow. We filed the paperwork with the information given to us when we took Rory into custody the first time and the courts finally called us down. They cannot unseal her birth certificate Mia”.

“But why? They said at 18 they would be able to reproduce one based on the social service report”.

Joan nodded….”It seems that document that Social Services has had all this time is fake. It was falsified Mia. They cannot unseal the original birth certificate because well….because the information does not match up. According the birth certificate given to us by her mother when we took her the first time her name is Rory Haymore, born November 4, 1984 to one Lori Haymore in Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, New York. According to New York’s records as well as the hospital, there was no Rory Haymore born that day, or anytime in that year, nor was Lori Haymore every admitted into that hospital. We have done a full city search and even included Connecticut and New Jersey. They fact of the matter is…we really have no idea of who she really is, if she was really born that day or if that is even her real name. They have run Lori’s fingerprints through the system, there is no match to a Lori Haymore or anyone. It’s almost like she made them up”.

“Oh god, how do I tell her this? How do I tell her that….what exactly do I tell her? Do we even know if that woman was really her mother?”

“We don’t know. Mia, we would rather you not say anything yet. I have a friend, he has worked on a few cases for us like this. Let us do some more digging before we say anything to her. For now she has an ID, she said she was fine waiting for her license, no reason to stress her out until we have some more information. I just, well I wanted you to know”.

“Thank you Joan. I am glad you did come to tell me in person. I just….I wish I could make this all go away for her Joan. I just wish I could make it all better for her, I wish she was truly mine Joan. I wish I could give her that family that she yearns for. I know she loves me and she knows this is her home, but she wants to know who she is…sometimes I think she holds back in telling me her feelings but I overheard her once, talking to Dean. She wondered if there was someone out there who was missing her, that loved her, that she belonged too. I just wish I could give her that”.  
“Let us do some more research and maybe, well maybe we can figure some stuff out before we have to tell her. But Mia, its normal for her to wonder, but you do know she loves you. She does consider you her family” Joan told her.

“I know, and I love her too. I just wish I could give her what she wishes for the most. The answers to her questions. I wish she would know that she is enough, just who she is…she will always be enough”.

Yale

“So what is this secret meeting about, I have a class in less than five minutes” Stephanie said as she met up with Logan who had been waving to her outside her class and immediately dragged her into an alcove in the hallway.

“If I ask you something will you promise not to tell Rory I asked you?”

“Well that would depend on what you are asking me. She is finally starting to open up to me I don’t want to betray her trust” Stephanie said.

“No, I would never ask you to do that. I want to know, well there was this girl today, blond, skinny, she came up to Rory when we were talking outside the building and made some offhanded comment to Rory, she was really being a bitch. Something about line cutting. I asked Rory and she said it was nothing, something about the coffee line. I just…well she has been so much happier since Paris left and I don’t want to think that this girl is starting problems with her. I mean I won’t say anything, I just worry. I don’t want Rory feeling uncomfortable again”.

Stephanie could see the concern on Logan’s face and was hesitant to tell him what really was going on, but she also knew if she said it was nothing Logan would be able to tell that she was lying. He knew her too well.

“Look Logan, you can’t say anything to Rory or to anyone else ok?”

Logan nodded.

“The girl, well she is one of the masses Logan”.

“The masses?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes. He was so dense sometimes.

“Logan, plain and simple, you aren’t dating, you aren’t sleeping with anyone and the line, which I know you try to deny is real is antsy and since you have been spending time with Rory, a lot of time publicly, well they feel she is cutting the line. She mentioned that Rory was plaining the innocent role and that once she gave it up to you, she would need to move on so the line could start moving again”.

“What is it with the girls at Yale who think they have the right to decide who I date or when I have sex? This is just nuts. Finn said something to me the other day at the pub, he said there are rumors”.

“Yeah well there are. Some think you caught some strange disease from a hooker in Asia, others feel that you had sex with a man during a drug induced haze during your yearlong party and that you have switched sides, the rest….well they think you are holding out until Rory gives you some. Look Logan, it is stupid and I agree with you but you have to understand, you are Logan Huntzberger and to them, you are the ideal catch. Plus, well you do remember yourself in high school and your freshman year. You set a level of excellence in moving your way through woman so they are kind of expecting the same level of action from you this year and since you are not, well they are restless”.

“Shit, what do I do Steph? I don’t want Rory dealing with these bitches because they are unhappy that I am not….keeping up to my level of excellence”.

“Look Logan, just keep doing what you are doing. Sooner or later they will get the picture and move on. I heard Robert has been making his way through the ranks, and he is a few months older than you which means his trust fund becomes available that much sooner. Maybe we need to just advertise” Stephanie said with a smile.

“You want me to pimp out Robert?”

“Of course Logan, why don’t you take out a billboard. Of course not you idiot. Maybe I just need to drop some information to the right people, you know get some gossip going. The other option is for you to announce you are engaged, but not sure if that will stop them, they will all want to be your last hurrah before you say I do” Stephanie said with a laugh.

“Oh yes that would work. My mother would be in her glory. I am sure she would be putting an announcement in the paper before she even figured out I was not dating anyone”.

“Look Logan just ignore it. Rory was fine. Trust me, she has thicker skin then we might think. If it gets worse I will let you know ok?”

“Fine. I won’t say anything but you have to promise if someone really gets in her face about this, you need to tell me”.

“I will, now I have to get to class. We are meeting up at the pub right? My last class ends around 1” Stephanie told him.

“Yeah, I am meeting Rory at 11:45 and we will head over, she has work today at 2 but we will be there until then” he said as they made their way back into the hallway and split up to go to their respective classes.

The next few days passed quickly and it was Wednesday and Stephanie and Rory were heading out of their last classes before their long weekend.

“So you excited to head home?” Stephanie asked her.

“It will be nice to see everyone and well I do love a good Thanksgiving dinner. What about you?” Rory responded.

“It will be nice to see my dad. Last year my dad was traveling, or more like hiding from dealing with our first Thanksgiving without my mom so I had gone home with Rosemary but he seems excited to have dinner together, my brother is coming with his wife and their new baby so it should be nice and I like my sister-in-law, she loves to shop so at least I have someone to get up early with me on Black Friday” she said laughing as they headed to their dorm.

Colin, Logan and Finn were walking towards the pub to meet the girls before everyone was going in their separate directions when they heard someone yell….

Turning they saw Rory engulfed in the arms of a tall, dark haired boy and Finn looked over at Logan who looked like his heart was breaking.

“Dean what are you doing here?” Rory said excitedly seeing her best friend standing there with a big smile on his face.

“I got home from school yesterday and I thought I would surprise you and pick you up and bring you home. Based on your reaction that you are happy to see me?” he said with a laugh.

“Of course I am. I missed you. Come I want you to meet my roommate” Rory said turning around to see Stephanie looking at her with a curious look and the boys standing behind her with the same looks of confusion, except for Logan….well he just looked, why did he look upset she wondered to herself.

“Come on….Dean this is Stephanie my roommate and these are my good friends, Finn, Colin and Logan” she said as she brought him over to her group of friends.

“This is Dean, he is one of my best friends from home. Kind of like the best big brother I never had” she said looking up at him. Stephanie smiled and walked over. “Ah so you are the mysterious guy on the other end of the phone” she said with a laugh. She had answered Rory’s phone one time when Rory asked her to grab it and ever since then she was curious about the guy who Rory said with a good friend. A few times Stephanie had caught her on the phone and Rory would say it was a friend from home who needed some help with their next movie marathon.

“That would be me. It’s nice to meet you Stephanie” he said shaking her hand. 

“Hello mate” Finn said putting out his hand.

“Finn right?” Dean asked.

“How did you know?” Finn asked.

“Rory has mentioned Finn her Australian friend, the accent gave it away” he said with a smile. “And you must be Colin, as I know the blond one is Logan. Rory has talked about all of you often. It’s great to meet you” he added as he shook Colin’s hand and then Logan’s.

“Nice to meet you as well” Colin said.

“You did not mention that you were getting picked up?” Logan said, still in a bit of a stupor. She did introduce him as a friend, like a big brother but Logan still was a bit jealous of seeing Rory in his arms. However a part of him felt good that it seemed that Rory had talked about them to him, it felt good to know that Rory considered them good friends.

“I didn’t know. He just surprised me” she said with a smile.

“I actually just got back from school yesterday and my mom was already driving me crazy so I thought I would drive up and pick Rory up and drive her back home. Mia said you were planning to take the train so I thought if I drove up it would give us time to catch up”.

“I am glad you did. I can’t wait to hear all about California. We were just heading over to the pub to have a drink before we all left for the holiday. So come, I want you to get to know everyone” she said happily.

They sat at their usual table and pulled up another chair for Dean. Dean stuck to coffee as he was going to drive as did Stephanie and Rory. The others each had a beer as they all got to know Rory’s friend. Dean thought they were all nice and looking at Rory with them, he could see she was comfortable with them and she looked happy. Finn was pretty funny, just as Rory has described, Colin definitely quieter but he shared some funny stories and Stephanie, well he could see why Rory liked her. She was very sweet and it was apparent that she valued her friendship with Rory. Logan he was curious about. He was quiet, not standoffish at all, he smiled and laughed at the stories but he did not say much. Once or twice he caught him looking at Rory and he wondered to himself if Logan liked Rory as much as Rory liked him. Oh it wasn’t that told him she liked Logan….even when Dean came out and asked if there was anyone she was interested in, Rory would just laugh and say that was not why she was at Yale. But while she talked about all of them a lot, there was something about her voice when she talked about Logan.   
The girls had gone to the ladies room and Colin and Finn went up to the bar to get a round of coffee for everyone since they were all driving which left Logan and Dean alone at the table.

“I wanted to thank you” Dean said.

“Thank me?”

Dean nodded….”Rory told me how much you all helped her with the Paris situation. As soon as Rory told me Paris was at Yale I knew a blow up was going to happen and I worried. Paris is the most self-righteous bitch I have ever known. She made Rory’s year at Chilton hell. She mentioned how you helped with having your dad call the Dean and all and I….well I am really glad she had you all in her corner”.

“She is our friend and it really wasn’t anything. My dad happens to be friends with the Dean and well I figured maybe a call to him before Tristan and Paris got to him would help. All we did was tell the truth, Rory was only defending herself. I would have loved to kick Tristan’s ass but….well we figured it was better to not cause any more attention to the situation. I was glad when Paris left the school. Rory seems much happier”.

Dean smiled….”She is and that has a lot to do with all of you. Rory, well it’s hard for her to feel comfortable around people. She would kill me if she knew I was talking to you about this but, well she sounds happy when she talks about all of you. Being across the country when she was here it was hard for me, I care a lot about her….she really is like a sister to me and she was so excited about Yale but I knew being here without knowing anyone was going to be hard for her. I am really glad she met you guys”.

“She is easy to care about, we all care about her”.

“I can tell, you maybe a little more than the others?” Dean said coming right out and asking him. Dean was good with first impressions and he liked all of Rory’s friends a lot. It was apparent that they considered her a good friend and they had their back but Dean also noticed the extra looks Logan gave her.

“She is a good friend. We have a lot in common” Logan told him.

Dean smiled….”Look before she comes back here, you don’t have to admit anything to me. I get it. I don’t mean to put you on the spot and if friendship is all that you want with her, then that’s cool too. I just notice you watching her and ….well I love Rory and all I want her to be is happy but she has not had it easy and trust comes really hard for her but she trusts you guys. If anyone deserves to be happy, to have someone treat her like a princess it is Rory. She is special, she deserves so much but she gets scared easily. So I just wanted to say that if you know, you are interested in her, don’t retreat when she tries to shy away, it’s just her protecting herself. If you really care about her, give her space but don’t let her hide. She is a master at that, trust me, but you still being there after she runs, knowing you will are there when she comes back….that will mean more to her trust wise than anything. I just don’t want her to be hurt”.

“I would never hurt her” Logan told him, given props where they were due. He did not know him well but he liked him and he could see how much he cared about Rory and he was glad that she had him as a friend.

“I don’t think you would. Ok so before she comes back, we keep this conversation between us?”

Logan nodded and smiled as the rest of the group made their way back to the table. They spent another hours together before they all headed out.

She said goodbye to Colin, Finn and Stephanie, waving as they got into their cars. Logan had walked with them to their cars and then walked back over to Rory and Dean.

“It was nice meeting you Dean, maybe you can come out for a weekend next time you are in town”.

“That would be great. It was nice meeting you as well” Dean said as he told Rory he would go warm up the car.

“Thank you for you guys being so nice to him” Rory said with a smile.

“He is a friend of yours so he is a friend to us as well. I am going to be at my parents tomorrow but then I am spending Friday with my dad and I should be back Saturday night so if you need anything don’t hesitate to call ok?”

“I will, have a good time and I will see you Saturday if you get back. I should be here sometime in the afternoon” she told him.

“You aren’t staying at home for the weekend?”

“No just dinner tomorrow, and then I will spend some time with Dean and our friend Lane Friday morning, but then I have some errands to run and I have a bunch of papers so I was planning to head back up to school, I think Stephanie is coming back early too”.

“Well then I will see you then, have a good time Ace” he said with a smile.

“You too Jack” she said laughing “what it is a step closer to Master and Commander” she added as she waved to him as he walked to his car.


	10. Chatper 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory finally allows herself to trust Logan with her secret and there is a surprise person in their corner.

Chapter 10

Rory sat on the train heading into the city. She had just spent a great morning with Dean and Lane, she loved hearing about all their adventures at school and she was even excited to share some of hers. She hated saying goodbye to them but Dean was flying back to California later that day so he could get a heads start on some of his school projects and Lane was spending the rest of the day in Church with her mother, figuring she would give her the day before she herself was heading back. But they all made plans to spend some time with each other over the winter break before Rory headed off to the ski lodge with Stephanie and the boys. She was still undecided about going but she had mentioned it to Dean who said she should go. She shared she was nervous as there would be people there she did not know but he reassured her that she would have Stephanie and the boys with her and that she gave them a chance and it turned out well, so meeting some new people would be good for her. She had not told Stephanie yet that she was going, she figured she would tell her when she got back to school, this way if she changed her mind she would not be disappointing anyone. But she was really going to try to push herself to go….another goal she would set for herself.

Spending time with Mia and the kids was great as well and she was stuffed beyond recognition. Mia had made all her favorites and she sent home pies to boot, she was glad it was cold, between the weather and the ice pack that Mia had packed with the pies, they would stay nice and cold until she returned home.

She had called ahead of time and knew the office was open, she figured if she got there by 1 PM she should be able to get on a 5 PM train back to New Haven and be back on campus by 6 PM and hopefully she could get some work done so tomorrow she and Stephanie could have lunch at the pub before classes resumed again on Monday.

She was worried about Mia though, she was smiling and being her usual self but there was just something that seemed to be bothering her. She tried to talk to her yesterday, but the kids were all having so much fun Rory did not want to ruin the day. She figured that maybe next week if she could switch her Tuesday shift she could take the train over to Stars Hallow and talk to Mia then since she had late classes on Wednesday she could take an early train back that morning.

The train pulled into Grand Central and she hopped off and headed over to the 6 train that would take her down to Worth Street. The trains seemed more crowded than usual, but it was Black Friday so it would explain for the midday crowds. It wasn’t long before she arrived at her stop and she headed off and walked the few blocks to the office of Vital Records.

She made her way up to the office and took a number, thankfully, maybe because it was the day after a holiday there was only a short wait until her number was called.

“Can I help you?” the woman said with a smile.

“Yes, I need to request a new birth certificate. I only have a copy of mine and I need an original to bring to the DMV in order to get my license. I tried ordering online, but it kept coming up with an error and when I called the information line, they said that sometimes it is easier just to come into the office as with copies sometimes the information is not as clear to read” Rory explained.

“Not a problem, and whoever you spoke to was right. We see this a lot” the woman said as she took Rory’s birth certificate copy as well as the ID she had. “Ah yes, see here….your certification number isn’t clear to read, the last two numbers are faded which is probably why you could not access it online. Let me just go back to the files. You can have a seat and I will call you back once I retrieve it” the woman said as she walked towards the back office.

Rory took a seat and pulled out her copy of the Sound and the Fury which was the book they were reading in her literature class. Rory was lost in her reading that she did not realize she had been sitting for close to an hour. She looked up when she felt someone staring at her. She saw the woman that was helping her and a man who was looking at what looked like her birth certificate and some other papers.

“Ms. Haymore,?” the woman said as she called her over. “This is Mr. Jones, he is our director here. He will help you with your request” the woman said walking back to her cubicle as Rory looked at the man in front of her.

“Would you mind, we can talk in my office” Mr. Jones said.

“Um, is there a problem?” Rory asked as he motioned for her to take a seat.

“Ms. Dune, she explained that you had an issue accessing an original birth certificate online and that you were directed here?”

“Well yes, she said it happens a lot with worn copies, that the certificate numbers can’t be read properly”.

“That is true. But well our system can pull out birth certificates based on pieces of information and….well Ms. Haymore. I am not sure where you got this copy but we have run numerous searches. There is no original birth certificate in the system with this information. Can I ask where you received this copy?” Mr. Jones asked. 

“I…well from my mother’s papers”. 

“Did you ask her if this was the correct certificate before you came in?”

“I don’t know where my mother is. I grew up in foster care. I have been waiting for them to issue my original birth certificate but they said there were some issues. I was going through some out documents I had and I found this so I thought I would just….Mr. Jones, if there is no birth certificate that matches this information can you explain to me what that means?”

He felt bad for the girl. If this has been a different circumstance he probably would have thought someone was trying to get away with fraud but it was apparent that this girl was just as surprised by this as he was when he got the results on the computer.

“Well we did a few different searches, sometimes it is possible that someone changes one piece of information to deter, well we tried different searches to see if any of the information gave us a hit and well none of the information matches up at all”.

“But what does that mean? Did my mother never file my birth certificate?”

“Ms.Haymore, I am so sorry. I am not sure what happened at the time of your birth, but according to our records you do not exist”.

“But what does that mean?”

“It means….well basically it means we have no idea who you are. The information on this birth certificate is falsified”.

Rory sat there wide-eyed as she looked at the man in front of her….his words playing over and over in her head.

“So what you are trying to tell me is that this is not my birthday, that it is possible that my name is not really Rory, that….oh god. You are telling me that no one can tell me who I really am, is that it?”

“Now there could be circumstances, I have a friend at the NYPD, I think we should call them and file a report. There is a chance that we could search the missing persons list, or check to see….”

Rory was just shaking her head…..missing persons, she was not Rory, this was not her birthday, she really had no idea how old she really was. She felt dizzy and his words were just a humming noise in her head.

She took the papers off the desk and placed them in her bag and stood up….

“Please Ms. Haymore, let us help you. If you have a seat I will make that call. We can also call the agency, do you have the name of who your representative was when you were in the system….Ms. Haymore, Ms. Haymore where are you going…please we can help you……”

Rory walked out of the building to find that the sky had grown dark, the rain pelted her but she felt nothing as she just wandered aimlessly down the street….we don’t know who you are playing over and over in her head.

She had no idea how long she walked for or what direction….she was soaked to the bone, the dark skies from the storm now was dark from the time. The rain continuously fell and Rory felt nothing.

The clap of thunder boomed loudly as the lightening shot through the sky and suddenly Rory was brought out of her fog by screeching breaks. 

“Oh my god are you ok. I am so sorry I did not see you there. Miss….are you ok?” the man said as he walked towards the front of the car that was a hairpin away from the young girl who stood just staring at him, soaked from head to toe and shivering, even though it seemed like she did not notice.

“Look I can call an ambulance, they can take you to the hospital just to see if you are ok…..”

“NO….please no ambulance” she said as she looked up at the man and he looked into the most haunting blue eyes he had ever seen. For a moment he swore they reminded him of something but the moment was fleeting, he was too concerned about the young girl walking aimlessly outside in the cold and pouring rain.

“Ok, no ambulance, is there somewhere I can take you. To your house, or to a friend….”

Suddenly the haunting blue eyes welled up with tears, she shook her head….”I don’t have anywhere to go, I don’t know where to go” the girl said softly.

“Well I have to get you out of this rain. Look I live a few blocks from here, let me take you there and at least get you some towels and something hot to drink and then we can figure out where I can take you ok. You can trust me….I won’t hurt you. I have a daughter probably close to your age. I would hope someone would help her if she needed help. Ok…will you let me help you?” he asked shocked at his decision but he could not let this girl just wander and whatever the poor girl was going through.

“Ok” she whispered and he nodded and he gently maneuvered her to his car.

“Buckle up ok, the rain is bad” he said running around to the driver’s side of the car and getting in.

“I am only a few blocks from here. We will get you some hot coffee and some dry clothes. You can use my phone to call whoever you need to call and then I can take you wherever you need to go ok?”

Rory just nodded and turned to stare out the window. Her thoughts a blur until she felt a gentle tap on her arm.

“We are here, let me help you” the man said as he ran to her side of the car and opened the door for her and led her to the elevator.

He rode up the elevator, just watching her stare out as if she almost did not know where she was. He could not even think about what could have happened to put her into that state. She looked so young.

They stopped on his floor and she followed him down the hall. He put the keys into the door when he heard….

“Dad is that you? I was worried, are you ok?” a voice called out.

“Get towels, lots of them hurry” the man replied as he directed the girl into his apartment.

“Dad, what happened did you get caught in the…..” the boy stopped short at the sight of his father and what looked to be a girl dripping wet and shivering.

“Dad….who is….”

Suddenly a voice drifted through the fog in her head, she slowly looked up.

“Ace….oh my god what happened. Dad what happened?” he said rushing to the girl’s side and opening a towel and throwing it over her shoulders.

“Logan you know this girl?” Mitchum said now confused.

Logan nodded and wrapped the towel around her. “Ace, can you tell me what happened. What are you doing in the city….please just talk to me. Rory what happened?”

Her body started shaking violently, trembling to the point of pain and suddenly the numbness that she had been feeling for the past few hours disappeared and she realized she was freezing, her body ached and when she looked up into the comforting brown eyes of her friend the tears began to fall.

“Oh Rory, come here. What happened?” he said and he opened his arms and for the first time he felt the weight of her small body in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her as she cried and his father stood there in shock….

First in shock that the young girl that was walking aimlessly in the rain seemed to be the same Rory that his son had become friends with at school and more so shocked at the emotions he saw play across his son’s face. He had never seen this side to his son, it was almost as he could see his son feel her pain as he tried to comfort her.

Mitchum shook his head and tried to assess the situation. “Logan, why don’t you bring her into the other room and give her some clothes to change into. You have some spare sweats and stuff in the closet. See if you cannot get her to take a hot shower and I will make some coffee and warm up the food. I got some soup with our order, that will be good for her” he said still shocked at the events that were playing out.

“Ace, did you hear my dad. Come on, I have some clothes here, let’s get you into a warm shower and then you can change and we can have something warm to eat, and when you are ready I will bring you back to school ok?”

Rory did not say anything, instead she burrowed herself deeper into his arms, not sure if it was the warmth she was craving or the emotional need to just hide herself away, so she could just disappear and forget everything that happened.

“Come on….my room is this way” he said softly as he looked up at his father and mouthed the words thank you as he walked her to the bedroom.

He walked her into his room and over to the bathroom. “Here let me set up the shower for you, nice and hot. If it is too warm you can just lower it, but try to stay under the warm water if you can. I will put some clothes out for you on the bed, and here are towels and you can use this robe before you come out ok”.

Rory just nodded without looking up at him.

“Ace are you going to be ok by yourself, I will just be in the other room helping my dad get dinner ready but if you need me to stay in my room and wait for you…..”

“I’m good. I’m sorry Logan” she said so quietly that he almost did not hear her.

“Ace” he said softly and when she would not look at him he gently put his hand under her chin and raised her face so he could look at her.

“Whatever happened, it’s ok and you will get through it because you are not alone ok. You are my friend and I am not going to leave you, I will help you through whatever you are going though I promise”.

She wanted to say something, anything but she couldn’t. She just looked into his eyes and touched his hand before turning and closing the bathroom door, leaving him standing outside it with his heart breaking.

He walked slowly back into the kitchen, he could not imagine what his father was thinking.

“Is she ok? I can assume that is Rory, your friend from school. You call her Ace?”

“Yeah, Ace for Ace reporter, just a nickname I came up for her and it stuck. That’s Rory. I really wanted you to meet her one day, this was definitely not how I saw it happening….I’m sorry, please don’t think anything bad of her, I am not……”

“Logan. You don’t have to apologize and I am not thinking anything bad about her. Concern, yes, but nothing bad. Something must have happened to her, does she have family in the city? Maybe something happened at home?” Mitchum asked truly concerned.

“Not that I know of. I mean she doesn’t really talk about her family much. I know she is from a town called Stars Hallow and I have met her best friend from home but other than that….she is really private dad. Her friend Dean, he said trust is really hard for her and I never wanted to push her you know. We all knew something happened in her life but we never wanted to ask her, we figured when she trusted us she would hopefully confide in us”.

“Stars Hallow, it’s up in Westchester, I have driven past there once or twice. It looks like she trusts you a lot, I am sure when she is ready she will tell you what happened. Logan, whatever it is, if there is anything I can do, please let me know”.

Logan looked at his dad, this concern was something he was not used to but he was grateful for at this moment.

“Thank you but I am still confused how you ended up with her?”

“It was raining and a flash of lighting hit thank god and there she was, walking right in front of my car. Thankfully I hit the brakes and got out of the car. I offered to call an ambulance but she said no, I offered to drive her somewhere and she said she had nowhere to go. I did not know what to do but I could not leave her out in the rain, I figured I could get her here, get her towels and something warm to drink and then once she calmed down I could take her where she needed to go”.

“Thank you for taking care of her….I…..”

Suddenly the door opened and Rory shyly walked out and over to Logan.

“How are you feeling, are you warm enough?”

Rory nodded her head, embarrassed to look up and see the look on Logan and his father’s faces. 

“Ace, I would like you to meet my dad, Mitchum Huntzberger. I was planning to introduce you, I guess I was taking too long so you decided to take the first step” Logan said trying to cheer her up and make her feel less self-conscious.

Rory looked up and gave Logan a half-smile. She looked over at Mitchum. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Huntzberger, I am so sorry for causing you so many issues this evening”.

Mitchum once again stared at her eyes, he wished he knew why the color of her eyes had such an effect on him. “It’s Mitchum Rory and it is very nice to finally meet you. I can definitely say I will never forget the way we met” he said with a real smile that surprised Logan but one that seemed to comfort Rory and that was all that he cared about at this moment.

“I don’t normally jump in front of people when they are driving. I guess I should say I am glad you had good brakes” Rory replied looking at the man who for so long was her idol but at this moment, he just was a very kind man who happened to be there for her when she truly needed someone.   
“I will definitely have to tip my mechanic, as I am very happy I had good brakes tonight. Now come sit. I made you some coffee and added a small shot of brandy, it will help warm you up. I had just picked up some Chinese food or Logan and I, we have tons since my son can never decide what he wants to eat and I have some Hot and Sour Soup and Wonton, your choice. Logan, why don’t you get us some plates and bring over some water as well” he said as he led Rory to the table.

“So Rory, my son tells me you are a very talented writer” Mitchum said trying to break the ice.

Rory looked at Logan and then back at Mitchum. “Well I am not sure I am that talented, but I do enjoy writing” she answered softly.

“Well enjoying what you are doing is very important. I would love to read some of your articles one day, if you feel comfortable and maybe you could sneak in a few of my sons as well. He seems to forget to show them to me whenever we see each other” Mitchum said with a laugh.

“Ok. It would be great to get some insight from you and I promise to sneak you some of Logan’s, they are really good” Rory said as she looked over at Logan with a smile.

They finished eating, and Logan cleared off the table.

“Well I have to go and make some calls, the weather is really terrible. Why don’t you both stay here for the evening and you can drive back to Yale in the morning” Mitchum suggested.

“Oh no, you have been more than kind but I do not want to impose on your time with your son. If maybe you can drop me off at the train, I think I could….’

“Ace, my dad has the room, there is an extra guest room plus you can keep me company while my dad makes his calls. We can watch a movie, I actually have a pretty good collection of movies here”.

“Rory, it is really not a bother. You are welcome here anytime. I will be on the phone for a while, please stay. You and Logan can relax and I can feel better knowing you are safe driving back to school tomorrow”.

“Ok, thank you Mitchum, for everything. It really was a pleasure to meet you”.

“The pleasure is mine Rory. Now in case I am stuck on the phone longer than I expect, sleep well and you don’t have to rush in the morning. When you both wake up we can have breakfast before you both head back. Logan, if you both need anything, I will be in my office” he said with a smile as he headed down the hall.

Logan led Rory over to the couch and sat down on one side as she sat down on the other.

“You father is very kind”.

Logan smiled….”You seem to bring that out in him but…well lately we have been getting closer. It’s nice. He was never around much when we were growing up, he was busy at work but I am enjoying getting to know him now, being able to talk to him”.  
“He must think I am insane” Rory said looking down.

Logan slowly moved half way towards her, he ached to hold her in his arms again but he knew that this was definitely not the right time to test out those waters so he settled to sitting closer to her. ”Rory, he does not think you are insane. He was concerned and I have to say I am kind of glad you walked in front of his car and that he was able to help you. I don’t like that you were out in the weather alone. I did not even know you were coming into the city, if something happened you could have called me. I hope you know that by now, you can always call me. I will always be there for you. Can you tell me Rory, can you tell me what happened?”

Rory looked at him, his eyes were so expressive and she saw the concern and care in his eyes. She could lie to him and say all was fine even though he knew she was lying but she also knew he would not push her, how she knew that she did not know but she did. Or she could trust him. She was starting too, but she was so scared that once he and their friends knew the truth they would not want to be her friends anymore and she could not bear that thought. But to be honest she needed someone. Someone she could trust and talk too. She knew she could call Dean but if she called he would be worried and try to come here and she did not want to upset his life. She could talk to Mia, but she had her hands full. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for anyone else to know but maybe Logan….maybe if she trusted him he wouldn’t run, and if he did, well then she would know that his friendship wasn’t meant to be.

Logan could see Rory was contemplating what she was going to say. He hoped she would talk to him, let him in and maybe whatever the problem he could help her and if he couldn’t then at least he could support her through whatever she was going through.

“Rory, you can trust me. There is nothing you could tell me that would ever make me walk away from you. You are my friend, one of my best friends. Since that first day when you walked into me outside your dorm. I don’t turn my back on my friends, not my real ones….ever”.

“I don’t even know where to begin” she said quietly.

“Where ever you feel comfortable starting. You can tell me anything Ace. Whatever you tell me stays between us always”.

Rory nodded. “I moved to Stars Hallow five years ago. I met Dean on the first day of school and my friend Lane shortly after. They were really my only friends in school. I did not have many friends growing up, I moved a lot and it was hard to trust people”.

“Is you family still in Stars Hallow? Or do you have family here in the city too?”

“My family is in Stars Hallow but they aren’t really, I mean they….Mia, well she is the closest person I have to family. She was my foster mom. I aged out of the system during my senior year, but usually when a foster kid turns 18 before they finish high school they stay in the system until they graduate as long as the foster home is receptive. If not, they put you in a halfway house until you graduate. Mia, well she kept me, even after I graduated. She said I always have a home there”. Rory said looking at Logan briefly and then looking back down again.

Logan would not push her to look at him when she told him her story, he got that this was terribly hard for her to talk about what she had confirmed, that she had a very hard life growing up, and even more so to trust someone with her story.

“Mia sounds like a wonderful woman. Maybe one day, well maybe I could drive you home and meet her”.

Rory looked up again and softly smiled, melting his heart….”Maybe. She is a wonderful person. I always wondered what it would be like to have a mom who loved me, Mia showed me what it was like. I love her and she is so amazing. She has up to 20 kids at a time in her home, most of them are much younger than me but she always made our home a happy one. I think she would like you” she told him.

“So you went to see Mia for Thanksgiving. I know you said you had errands to run, is that why you were in the city?”

Rory nodded.

“So you have been in the system since you were what, 14 years old?”

Rory shook her head and finally looked up at Logan. “No, I don’t ever remember not being in the system. Mis’a house just happened to be my last placement”.

Logan’s heart was breaking for her….he knew she had a hard life but this was far worse than he ever imagined.

“Why were you in the city Ace. Can you tell me?”

Rory looked away for a moment and stood up and walked towards the window and looked out at the city.

“When I turned 18 the system issued me an ID because they never had an actual copy of my birth certificate and it takes a while for them to have the records unsealed. Before I left for school, Mia gave me a bag. It came with me when they brought me to her, I never remembered it, it was a pretty crazy day when they brought me to her. She said when she realized what it was she put it away until she felt I was ready to look through it. It was my mom’s bag. My real mom’s. The day they brought me to Mia’s….that day I had come home from school and my real mom was waiting in my foster home. She was in my room, no one else was there. Jess, he also lived in the foster home, he had let her in. She wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near me. Luckily my foster father, he came home early and got her out of the house and I guess she did not have time to grab her bag. Inside was a journal. I have been trying to find out clues to where she came from, who her family might be. All my life, I have wondered if I had a family who missed me. My mom never told me anything. Anyway, when I was going through the bag I found a copy of my birth certificate and tried to order an original online but it kept coming up with an error and when I called the information line, they explained that with old copies sometimes it was hard to order online so it would be easier to come into the office to retrieve the original”.

“So you came into the city to get your original birth certificate?”

Rory nodded and Logan noticed she started trembling.

Logan stood up and walked towards her and turned her around, taking her hand….”Rory what happened when you got to the office. You did get there or were they closed and that was why you were upset?” he asked not understanding what could have happened that upset her so much.

“They could not give me my real birth certificate” she told him.

“Did you need additional paperwork? I can help you get it if you need me too. Just let me…..”

Rory pulled away and shook her head…..”That was not why they could not give me the original Logan”.

“Did you need more money? Do you want to stay in the city and we can go on Monday morning, I can pay for it if you need me too”.

“Logan….they could not get me the original because the copy I had was a fraud, none of the information matched up in their system. Don’t you get it Logan…they could not give me my real birth certificate because they don’t know who I am, I don’t know who I am…..my whole life has been a lie, I don’t even know my real birthday ot what my real name is or if….I don’t even know if my mom was really my mom. Logan I don’t know who I am…..I…I don’t exist, I don’t know where I belong” Rory said as the tears rolled down her checks and he body shook with her tears.

Logan walked over to her and took her hands in his….”Listen to me, I know who you are. You are Rory Haymore, my friend. Do you hear me. We will find out the truth Rory, we will find out who you are and where you are from and it doesn’t matter what you real name might have been, or when your birthday is….what matters is that you one of my best friends and you might not know where you come from, but I know where you belong. You belong right where you are. With your friends, at Yale….you belong Rory. You always will” he told her as he took her in his arms and just held her while she cried vowing that he would help her, he would help her find her family and when he did, he would be right by her side, because at this moment in his heart, he knew that was where she belonged.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a much shorter chapter than I have been posting but wanted to make it as a stand alone. Thanks for everyone who has been reading and for your kudos and reviews.

Chapter 11

“Dad?” Logan asked after knocking on the office door.

“Logan? Come in is everything ok?”

“Are you done with your calls?” Logan asked.

Mitchum smiled….”I am actually just doing some reading, I wanted to give you and Rory some time to talk. I could tell she was upset, I thought she would be more comfortable talking to you if I was not in the room. Is she ok? Is there anything we can do to help?” he asked concerned.

“I think you could dad but….”

“But….”

“Look dad, I know you want us to have a better relationship and I want that but I need to know I can trust you with this. Rory…well she, I mean….”

“You have feelings for her don’t you? More than just friendship?”

Logan nodded his head. “I do, strong ones but she is not ready for any kind of relationship and I am ok with that. I need her to know she can trust me and I know how hard that is for her dad. She has been through a lot, and now that she has told me some of it I can’t imagine how she has been dealing with so much of this alone. I want to trust you, I think you could help but I just….”

“Logan, I know I have not been a good father, I have been a pretty shitty one but I want to change that. I want to help you and your friend. I am, well I am surprised that you even shared your feelings for her with me and I want you to, I mean I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. 

What are you worried about….I know this relationship thing between us is going to be strange at first, I was just happy that we were spending time together but I know you might have trust issues, I would expect that. So how can I put your doubts to rest”.

“I don’t know what is going to happen with Rory and I, I mean…” Logan looked at his father and he knew that this was the moment of truth. He either trusted him or he didn’t…..

“I really like her dad, she sees me for me you know. Not my name or what I have, but she likes me for me. I can see a future with her, well I would like to see a future with her but right now she needs me as a friend and I am willing to do that, no matter how long it takes but I am just worried that….I don’t want anything we share with you to taint how you see her as a person. I don’t want it that one day, if she and I progress to more than a friendship that you will use what you know and decide that she isn’t the kind of girl a Huntzberger should date, I mean I don’t even know if we will ever get to that stage, but I don’t want whatever relationship I have with her to be tainted by what I tell you. I need to know that you will give her the respect to see her for who she is as a person, not where she comes from or who her family is”.

“Logan my whole life was directed for me, my father told me who I was marrying, where I would be working, how my life would be lived. I did what he asked but I paid a price, my children paid the price. I know that for most of your life I have pushed the family business on you, and in many ways I was doing to you what my father did to me but I need you to understand that my pushing you to HPG really had nothing to do with the family and everything to do with you and what you deserve. The fact is HPG became my life because it was easier than being home….it was my escape. That was not fair to you or Honor, but I cannot change the past but I am proud of what I have done at HPG and I want my children to benefit from that and you, you have so much talent and maybe I did not go about it the right way, by making you think that you had to follow in my footsteps when the truth is I would be honored if you did. But I need you to know, Logan if HPG is truly not your dream, you can tell me. All I want for you is the chance to lead your life the way you want to, now granted I would prefer that you do not come to me and say you wanted to join a circus but if that was your dream I would find a way to work with it I just…I want you to have all the opportunities open to you but I want you to follow those opportunities that you want for yourself, not what I want or your grandfather or your mother want. I guess what I am telling you is, I want you to be happy and if Rory makes you happy then I truly do not care where she comes from or who her family is. Now that does not mean your grandfather or mother won’t try to steamroll over you, but I can promise you, I will stand by the both of you. I know that you might not believe me but…..”

Logan looked at his father and saw sincerity, he saw true concern….god he so wanted to trust his father and then he realized how hard it must have been for Rory to trust him with what she told him, how hard it must have been for her to make a decision that could ultimately backfire if Logan ended up not being the person she believed him to be so he was going to take a leap as well….

“I do trust you dad. I really need to know I can trust you”.

“You can Logan, I mean that. Now tell me, how can I help Rory? Is her family having problems is that why she is upset? Is there something we can do to help them?”

Logan shook his head…..”No, um…it’s…..”

“It’s ok Logan, I don’t mind telling him” Rory said softly from the open door.

“Rory, come in please. Have a seat. Logan told me you are having some issues, what can I do to help you? I know you don’t really know me but you are a friend to my son, you can trust me Rory, I will help you anyway I can” Mitchum told her, his heart truly breaking for the pain that was etched on the girl’s face.

“I am not sure where to start” she said softly.

“Well why don’t you start with why you were so upset when I found you outside?”

Rory nodded….”I have been trying to get my driver’s license, but I needed some additional documentation….I needed an original birth certificate” she explained.

“Your parents don’t have the original?” Mitchum asked confused as he really did not think that not having a birth certificate could really be the cause of the grief he saw on her face when he found her wandering outside.

Rory shook her head…”I don’t live with my parents, I mean I know my mother, I have stayed with her a few times when I was younger but….”

“You don’t live with your mother? Did you grow up with an aunt, or your grandmother?”

“I don’t know any of my family, I grew up in foster care” she said as she looked down, almost as if she was embarrassed to share that information with him.

Suddenly Mitchum started to get an idea or at least a hint of the hard life this girl had led.

“Rory can I ask, did you grow up with one family?”

“No, I got shuffled around a lot. I know I was with one family for a while when I was a baby, then my mother got custody of me when I was two, or so my file says, I don’t really remember that time. I was with her for a few months and then I was removed again from her custody until I was 5. I lived with her and her boyfriend for about a year. We moved to stay with his brother for a while and then my mom and James, that was her boyfriend, they did not come back and his brother could not care for me so he had to call social services. His name was Bill, he was nice to me, he would bring me home candy and he would take me to the library, I was sad when I had to leave there” Rory said sharing more details now as she retold the story to Mitchum.

“So you went to a new home?” Mitchum asked.

“Yes. I never stayed in one longer than a few months because she would always find me....my mom. The courts denied her requests for custody again and could only see me through supervised visits but she kept breaking the rules and she would try to see me without supervision so they just kept moving me. I stayed with about four different families from when I was 9 to about 12, I guess she tried to fix her life because the courts gave her another chance and I went to live with her and her new boyfriend Russ, I lived with them for a little over a year and then they took me out of her care again and put me with the Millers. They were pretty nice I guess, I was there for about a year and then my mother found me again and they came and took me again”.

It did not go unnoticed by Mitchum nor Logan that Rory had rushed through the last part of her story, almost flinching as she spoke the words.

“Is that when you ended up in Stars Hallow?” Logan asked, knowing she had told him she ended up there when she was 14.

Rory nodded….”Yes, they moved me to a group home in Stars Hallow. My foster mom her name is Mia, she…well she is amazing. She helped me so much and well she is kind of like the only mom I have ever really had. I stayed with her for the next four years through high school….and then I came to Yale, but I am still very close with her. I spent yesterday with her and the other kids that live with her” Rory explained.

“Well I am very glad you ended up with her, it sounds like you finally found a home” Mitchum stated.

“Yes, she was…well at the other homes they were nice and all but I never really got close to any of them. When you move so much it kind of gets hard and why get close to someone because you kind of know you will lose them, I guess it is the same for them, I mean a lot of these foster parents. They have kids coming and going, you don’t really want to get to emotionally involved, but Mia did. She loved each and every one of us. I…I was safe there”.

Again Mitchum and Logan heard her words but did not push….it was sad to hear someone talk about feeling safe, as if she had never felt safe before.

“So you were never given a birth certificate? Mitchum asked.

“The system had a copy but basically your original one is sealed until you turn 18, but even then it could take a while. I found something of my mom’s, my real mom’s. It was a bag that had been mixed up with some of my stuff. It had a journal and a copy of my birth certificate so I tried to order a new one online but it kept coming up with an error, so when I called they told me to come to the Department of Records here to get a copy”.

“Is that where you were today? Did they give you a problem is that why you were upset?”

“Well that was where I was today and why I was upset but….they really did not give me a problem, they just gave me some information and it upset me and I really don’t remember anything after I left that office, I mean until I almost ran in front of your car. Again I am really sorry”.  
“It’s ok Rory, I am just thankful for the brakes and that I found you. Rory, can you tell me what happened at the office? What upset you so much?”

“I gave them my copy, a woman was helping me, she said sometimes with copies the certification number gets worn and that was why I could not order it online but then….well the director came out and asked to talk to me in his office. He told me the reason why I could not get a copy online was not because of the certification number….it was because….” Suddenly Rory’s eyes started to fill up with tears again.

“Oh sweetie, you can tell me. I want to help you” Mitchum said as Logan moved to sit closer to her and put his arm lightly around her.

“The reason I could not get a copy was because the certificate I had was a fraud. They checked all of my information, even tried to pull up each piece separately but nothing came up. Basically I do not exist. They wanted to call the cops because they said maybe I am a missing child or….but I just walked out, I…..can you help me Mitchum, can you help me find out who I am?”

Suddenly the severity of the situation hit Mitchum, and his son’s words echoed in his ears….not wanting him to ever judge her for where she came from or who her family is. It wasn’t because he knew the family she came from, it was because he was worried about who her family might be if they ever found out.

Of course he would help her but he was trying to figure out what to say or where to start when Rory continued…

“I have done some research” she told him.

“Research?” Mitchum asked.

Rory nodded. “I have been gathering information from my mother’s journal. It’s bits and pieces but…well maybe I could show Logan when we get back to school and I can make a list of some of the things that I felt maybe are clues as to where she grew up and I could show them to you?” Rory asked tentatively.

“I can see why my son says you are such a good reporter and an ace at research” Mitchum said with a smile trying to relax the somber mood.

Rory blushed.

“I think a list would be a great place to start….and maybe, well if it was alright with you, do you think I could maybe talk to Mia? Or I could go with you to meet her? To get some insight into how the agency works, understand better on how they get information about a child when they are removed from their parents’ custody? That might also give us somewhere to start looking” Mitchum asked her. He did not want to push, but she was asking for help and maybe he could get some additional insight that maybe could help.

“I would be ok with that. Maybe…well maybe after the holidays? It is a busy time for her with the kids and well I think I would like to talk to her first about what I am doing. Is that ok?”

“Whatever you are comfortable with Rory. I want you to know you can trust me, whatever we discuss, it will never go past the three of us. I promise you”.  
“I trust you” she said softly.  
“You do?” Mitchum said surprised as Logan had explained that trust was a big thing for Rory and regardless that he was Logan’s father, she had just met him.

“I can see it in your eyes, your sincerity. Just like Logan….you both have very expressive eyes” she said shyly.

Mitchum just felt touched that she trusted him, but when he looked at his son, was that a blush on his face. Mitchum has to bite back a laugh, it seemed his son was shocked and elated that it seems Rory had been paying attention to his eyes. He was going to help this girl, if just for the entertainment of watching his son tied up in knots over a girl. He never thought he would see the day, but he hoped that by Logan and his relationship getting stronger that he would get to be a witness to watching his son’s relationship with Rory grow as well. His son has nothing to worry about, the fact was Mitchum did not give a rats ass where this girl came from or who her family was….she brought a smile to his son’s face and that was more than enough for him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates. Work has been insane this past week or two. Thank you for reading and for your reviews and kudos. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update.

Chapter 12

Rory was sitting in her and Stephanie’s room at the ski lodge. Stephanie had run to one of the other girls room, something about a shoe malfunction and Rory was just taking a moment to herself before the big New Year Gala. She glanced over at the dress she would be wearing this evening. When they were packing for the trip Rory had asked Stephanie about what kind of dress she should pack for the New Year party. Rory did not have many dresses but she had one or two nicer ones that she had purchased over the years for school functions. Imagine her surprise when Stephanie told her that she did not need a dress. Stephanie explained how each year the New Year Gala was a themed costume ball and that their outfits would be waiting for them at the lodge. Rory was a bit hesitant and a bit confused but Stephanie explained this was a totally normal process and Rory decided she would just go with the flow….since that was her new motto, or at least one she as trying to follow.

Christmas in Stars Hallow was wonderful as always, she loved seeing the younger kids all excited with their gifts and being that school ended a few days earlier she was able to accompany Mia when she took them to see Santa. She also mentioned to Mia if it would be ok if one of her friends and his dad came by after the holidays to meet her. She did not go into detail but as always Mia told her she would love to meet one of her friends and to just let her know when they were coming.

She spent some time with Lane who was home for a short break as she had to return to school early as she was a part of a group of students that would be performing holiday concerts over the break and she spent some quality time with Dean. She loved hearing how happy Dean was at Cal-Tech and she was equally happy to hear about Amber who at the mention of her name left Dean blushing. Trying to get Rory off the topic of his new girlfriend, which seemed to excite Rory to no end he decided to ask her about her friends, namely Logan.

Flashback

“So while we are on the topic of friends, how’s Logan?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“They are all ok. Finn, well Finn is Finn” Rory told him. Dean understanding the reference as Rory shared countless stories of the crazy Australian on their weekly calls.

“And I think Colin is going to ask Stephanie out during our ski trip. It would be about time, I mean they both claim they are just friends but you should see his face when another guy talks to her. It is pretty funny” Rory shared.

“Well you definitely need to keep me up on their status” Dean told her. He was always up for some good gossip but what he enjoyed hearing more was the way Rory’s voice lit up when she talked about her friends. She actually seemed to have found her place and she was starting sound really comfortable around them. “And Logan? Anything new with him?” he added.

“Dean we are just friends” Rory told him with a frown. “I told you I am not looking for a boyfriend and I am far from the type of girl that Logan goes out with trust me”.

“And what is his type? Do you know many of his girlfriends?” Dean asked.

“Well no, I mean I know who a lot of the girls he dated in the past are, and the girls that like him. They don’t like me too much, seems they think that the reason he hasn’t dated this year is because of me. I told Stephanie that just shows how stupid these girls are, I mean we are just friends”.  
“So he isn’t dating anyone?”

“No, he is…well he is trying to get more into his studies. I am sure he will date again when he finds someone he likes. Stephanie said it is a good thing, many of his past dates were bimbos and I have to agree they are. They actually talk about him not dating as if he is breaking some cardinal rule. It is pretty funny.”

“So you and Logan spend a good amount of time together?”

“Well we all spend time together, I mean Logan and I maybe spend a little more time together because of the newspaper, we work on some of our articles together but…Dean what are you getting at?”

“Nothing. I just asked. I mean you talk about him a lot so I figured you spent a good deal of time together. I’m glad that you found good friends, they seem to have your back and maybe you are starting to trust them a little?”

Rory nodded. “I do….I…..”

“You?”

“I told Logan”.

“You told Logan?”

“I mean, well they were all there during the Paris fight so I know they heard things but they never asked me about anything and I wasn’t going to bring it up, I mean not yet”.

“But you told Logan?”

“I went to the city to try to get a copy of my birth certificate and….”

“What happened Rory?”

“It’s a fake”.

“What’s a fake?”

“My birth certificate, all the information that I have about me. Everything is a lie” Rory said as the tears started forming again.

Dean wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

“It seems that there is no record of a Rory Haymore every being born in New York on my birthday. They even did segmented searches, like just my name, my birthday, the hospital where it says I was born….everything was a lie”.

“Oh Rory, I am so sorry. You could have called me. What did Mia say?”

“I know but I did not want to worry you and Mia, well I haven’t told her yet. With the holidays I just wanted to forget everything for a while”.

“But you told Logan?”

“Well it wasn’t like I planned too. I went to the city the day after Thanksgiving. I did not tell anyone I was going, not even Mia. I wanted to do it on my own you know?. When they told me everything I was so upset I just ran and I guess I was just wandering the streets, I don’t even really remember what was going through my head except everything was a lie, my whole life was a lie. I must have been walking for a few hours and it started raining and I don’t know what happened. I went to cross the street and I wasn’t looking and this car….”

“Oh my god Rory were you hurt?”

“No, thankfully the man saw me and had good breaks. He got out of the car to make sure I was ok and he asked if he could take me somewhere, I didn’t know where to go. I guess he was worried and concerned and he just wanted to get me out of the rain and he said he could take me to his house and get me some towels and I could use his phone to call someone….”

“So you got in a car with a stranger?”

“I trusted him”.

“You trusted a stranger?”

“There was something about his eyes, I don’t know why but I went with him and when we got to his apartment his son was there”.

“And you had them call Logan? You know you could have called me Rory I would have sent someone to get you”.

“No you don’t understand, his son….it was Logan”.

“Wow, out of millions of people in New York you walked in front of Logan’s dad’s car?”

“They were both so nice to me. They gave me dry clothes and they fed me and then his dad went to do some work and Logan, he just….he was there for me and I knew I had to either trust him or not and something told me I could trust him….I told him I did not know who I was”

“How did he react?”

“He told me it was ok, that he would help me and that he knew who I was. That I was Rory Haymore, his friend and that was all that mattered”.

Dean smiled….he had hoped his feelings about Logan were right and from what Rory told him they were.

“How did that make you feel?”

Rory smiled….”Good. I feel safe with him”.

“That’s good Rory, he seems like he is a really good friend”.

“He is. His dad is going to help me. He has a lot of connections, he works in newspapers…..”

“He does well that seems….wait a minute, Huntzberger, wait do you mean that Logan is the son of Mitchum Huntzberger? The newspaper mogul?”

“Yeah” Rory said with a laugh.

“Well I guess if you were going to walk in front of someone’ car it is pretty lucky that it was the car of one of your newspaper idols and the father of your friend. Sheer luck Rory” Dean told her laughing.

“Yeah I guess it was”

End of Flashback

She was glad that she had time to spend with Dean before heading from her ski trip away with her friends. Before she knew it Stephanie was picking her up for the ski trip. She was pretty quiet on the way up to the lodge. She did not want to admit that she was scared, she had almost called Stephanie the night before to cancel but instead she decided she was going to face her fears and it wouldn’t be like she did not have her friends there with her. About an hour before they made it to the lodge Stephanie finally got her talking and she admitted she was a bit nervous. Stephanie just gave her the trademark Stephanie smile and told her she would be fine, that she would fit right in and if she ever felt uncomfortable all she had to do was tell one of them and they could head back to their rooms but that she was going to have fun so there was nothing to worry about.  
Stephanie had been right. She was still a bit nervous about being with a large group of Logan and his friends, many that she had never met but surprisingly she found herself liking most of them, well except Robert but it seemed that Logan, Finn and Colin were not too happy about Robert trying to talk to their Reporter Girl, which had become Colin and Finn’s nickname for her, so they nipped that in the bud quickly which she was thankful for. Juliet and Rose took her under their wing, just as Stephanie had and acted like she was always a part of their group and Rory was looking forward to getting to know them even more when they all returned to Yale and the four of them would be roommates.

She still felt most comfortable when she had Logan, Colin, Finn or Stephanie around, and it was almost as if her friends new that because she was never alone with some of the other guests without one of them around. Overall the past few days she found herself comfortable and having fun. They had skied, or at least she attempted too. She wasn’t sure skiing was her talent but she enjoyed snow tubing. The girls won at what she found out was the annual snowball fight and Finn kept her close by when he realized she was a master at counting cards at blackjack….something that surprised her as well as she had never been to a poker game or casino before in her life. She also learned she liked champagne. She was nowhere ready to try a shot of what Finn called a Fireball, but champagne….well that she enjoyed.

But now it was time for the big gala. She stared at the dress that was hanging on the door….just waiting for her to put it on. She noticed that her dress covered much more than some of the other girl’s dresses which made her laugh. It was almost as if whoever did the dress shopping knew she would not be comfortable in anything to risqué. But the idea of putting on the dress still freaked her out….because it was beautiful and no doubt expensive. She did not think she was ever this close to a dress that was this expensive without a piece of glass between her and the fabric, but Stephanie reassured her again, well numerous times that this was the norm and just to dress up and have fun.

By the time Stephanie came back in the room Rory had finally put on the dress and curled her hair and when she turned around Stephanie just stood there is shock…

“Wow Rory, you are going to have the guys drooling. You look amazing”.

Rory had to laugh….”I doubt that Steph but thanks for the ego boost. You sure it looks ok? I can’t believe it fits so perfectly, I mean who picks out these dresses, how could they do so well with sizing if they did not even know who they are dressing?”

Stephanie was not going to attempt to answer that question. If Rory knew that Logan had personally picked out her dress she knew Rory would freak so she laughed it off using the excuse of the dress fairy and finished dressing herself before helping Rory touch up her makeup.

They met up with Juliet and Rose in the hallway and they headed downstairs to the grand ballroom where the ball would be held.

The boys were at the bar talking to Seth, who also just returned from a semester abroad when suddenly they heard a big hush over the room which made Robert’s comment that damn who knew she had a body like that echo throughout the room. Thankfully only those at the bar heard the comment as Finn biffed him in the back of the head and Logan’s head turned around and he was struck speechless. He figured his jaw was probably on the floor. From the moment she looked up at him with those big blue eyes the day she almost knocked him over with a box he knew she was beautiful but she looked…wow. He needed words at this moment and none were coming to his mind as the girls walked towards them at the bar.

“Loves, you all are beautiful as always” Finn said as he smiled over at the girls.

“Thanks Finn” Stephanie said for the girls collectively….”And you four all look dashing as well” she added.

“I am the most exotic though right love?”

“Of course Finny, you are always the most exotic” Juliet said with a laugh.

“Rose, it has been too long since I have seen you” Finn said as Rose rolled her eyes.

“Finn you saw me an hour ago when you came to my room to see if I needed help dressing” she said laughing.

“Well I will admit that I am glad you tossed your shoe at me to get me out of your room, seeing the full package was definitely worth the wait”.

“Finn go get me a drink” Rose said laughing.

“Of course love” he said as he turned back towards the bar and got the girls glasses of champagne.

Stephanie watched out of the corner of her eye her suddenly silent friend Logan who was alternating between staring at his shoes and staring at Rory. Rory on the other hand was looking everywhere she could and would steal glances at Logan, a blush blooming across her face and she was ready to break out in laughter.

“Come on Rose, dance with me….it has been too long” Finn said as he pulled Rose off to the dance floor.

Colin who also had been watching his usually not so quiet friend standing there as if he was pole axed jabbed him in the stomach….causing Logan to flinch look at him and then take a breath and look over at Rory who was starting to look a bit uncomfortable as the crowd picked up in the room.

“It’s kind of warm in here….Ace want to take a walk outside with me on the balcony?”

“Um, sure” Rory said shyly.

“We will be back” Logan told the group as he led Rory through the crowd and out the door.

While it was a mild evening it was still chilly so he took off his jacket and wrapped it around Rory’s shoulders as they walked towards the railing.

“It’s really beautiful out here” Rory said softly.

“It is…I always liked it out here. It’s peaceful....”

“Not so peaceful on campus” Rory said with a laugh.

“No…but there are a few places that I go to sometimes. I….well maybe once we get back to school you will come with me one day for a drive. There is this place, it’s about an hour or so out of New Haven. It’s this abandon mansion, not sure of the whole story but supposedly it burned down years ago but there issues with the estate so no one took ownership or tried to fix it up. I would drive out there sometimes. It’s weird, I mean it’s kind of haunting you know, this house, nature growing around the remnants of what was left of the foundation but there is such this feeling of solitude, quiet….it’s peaceful. I go out there to think, or take pictures”.

“You never did tell me”.

“Tell you what Ace?”

“About why no one knows how good you are with a camera? Why no one knows how talented you are?”

Logan shrugged his shoulders…”I don’t know really. I guess growing up all I ever heard was that one day I would take over HPG, that I would run the business. Did not even really have an option when it came to choosing a major at school. It was like Logan, this is what degree you need, these are the classes you need, for the longest time I really did not think anyone really cared what I wanted to do, all that mattered is that I take over the role that I was born to take. Doesn’t leave many options you know?”

“Have you ever tried talking to your dad? I mean I know your relationship hasn’t been great in the past but I know you said it has been getting a little better…..”

“It has and he is trying. Since I came back from my trip he has been trying to reach out more but it was weird you know, like I was still scared to say the wrong thing, something that would disappoint him but….”

“But….”

“The night we stayed in his apartment, when I went to talk to him about helping you. For the first time he brought up my destiny of taking over HPG and that while he thought I would be great at the job, if it wasn’t my dream that it was ok, that he wanted me to be happy. We really did not get into it that much but that was the first time I think he ever actually acknowledged that I might actually have dreams of my own”.

“Do you? Have dreams Logan?”

Logan nodded…..”I do” he told her, in his head admitting to himself that over the past few months his dreams have started to include her, and not in the I have had dirty dreams about you way, but more of the I can see snippets of my future and you are a part of them way, which a year ago would have scared the hell out of him, but surprisingly now the thoughts put him at ease.

“Well maybe one day you will share them with me” she said smiling.

“I would like that” he said smiling back. “You sure you are not too cold?” he asked her as he saw her shiver slightly.

“Maybe a little, you are probably frozen. We can go back inside” she told him as she started walking towards the patio doors.

“Rory?”

“Yeah?”

“I am really glad you decided to come this weekend”.

“I am too” she said with one of those rare smiles that reached her eyes.

“Come on let’s go….I had mini egg-rolls and dumplings put on the menu, want to make sure we get to them first” he said laughing as he took her hand and walked her back inside.

The rest of the evening was spent mostly in their little group, now with the addition of Seth, Juliet and Rose. They dined on mini-egg rolls and dumplings and chicken bites and champagne and when the clock got close to the magical hour everyone gathered out on the patio as counted down…and just as midnight struck the sky lighted up with fireworks and as couples kissed and friends hugged Logan looked over at Rory and her eyes were bright and the smile on her face was mesmerizing and before he knew what he was doing he leaned down and said “Happy New Year Ace” before he allowed his lips to brush softly against hers.

They just stood there staring at each other as most of the guests started heading back in to the ballroom for after firework cocktails….

He pulled back and saw a look of shock, or was it confusion on her face and suddenly a panic rose within him. “I’m sorry Ace, I did not….”

She smiled softly…..”It’s ok Logan, I get it. You got caught up in the moment. I guess it’s natural I mean that’s what you are supposed to do on New Year’s and….” She was rambling. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and while the kiss was a surprise and the idea of it was something that would normally freak her out, she wondered why suddenly she missed the warmth that she felt in those few seconds that their lips met.

Maybe it would be better if he let her believe it was just a caught up in the moment thing. Maybe if he did then she would not feel uncomfortable and pull away from him, that was the one thing he did not want to happen.

The kiss was definitely not something he planned, but it was just seeing her smiling face, the happiness in her eyes and it was almost as if there was a magnetic force and he kissed her and he felt as his life had shifted on its axis. But he also did not want her thinking he regretted it, because as much as he knew the timing was wrong, the kiss was definitely not something of regret. He could go one of two ways but as he looked at her rambling he saw something in her eyes….

He took her hand lightly in his…..”I wasn’t caught up in the moment Rory. I wanted to kiss you” he told her. She looked up at him curiously…..”I was sorry because I know you are not ready for anything and I don’t even know if you feel anything for me other than friendship or if you maybe could one day and I never want to make you uncomfortable, I want you to trust me and feel safe with me and….”

Suddenly so many things passed through her mind…all her fears, her insecurities and then she thought of something Dean said about how she sounded when she spoke about Logan. Or how during the conversation about the girls of Yale thinking she was with Logan and how funny it was that they could believe that Rory was his type and how for a moment it upset her thinking that she never would be someone he would want. She knew she was not ready for anything but she also did not want to lose a possible change of something in the future….god where was this coming from, wasn’t she the one who said she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, but there was something about Logan, how he just made her feel safe and cared for. She could just tell him that she did trust him and smile it off and she knew he would respect her and never bring it up again….

Logan just watched Rory’s eyes, he so bad wished he could know what was going through her head. He suddenly started wondering what she could be thinking when Rory stood up on her tip-toes, placed her hand on his cheek and touched her lips to his for the briefest of moments and then she pulled away and looked up at him.

“I do feel safe with you” she said as he squeezed her hand softly and a smile broke out across his face. Not his usual smirk but a real smile. His eyes softened as they looked at her knowing she had more to say.

“You are right, I am not ready for anything but I think I might want to be in the future” she said softly, a blush making its way across her face as she suddenly realized what she said to him. 

Logan gently put his hand under her chin and lifted her face so he could look at her….”I am not going anywhere”.

“Logan, I don’t know how long it could be and I want you to know that if you met someone, I mean if you wanted to date and…..”

“Rory….I have met someone and she needs time and she can have all the time she needs. All she has to know is that I am here for her. I am not going anywhere” and he meant it. For the first time in his life he knew there was so much more to sex and having a different woman every night. He knew because at this moment just standing there with her small hand in his, he was more fulfilled than he ever had been throughout any of his sexual escapades.

Rory looked up at him and she knew her eyes were watering but she did not want him to see her cry.

Logan could tell that this was an emotional overload for her, not what she needed right now so he smiled at her and tightened his grip on her hand as he turned her towards the door. “Can I interest you in some after midnight delicacies my lady? I had them keep an extra tray of egg rolls and dumplings in the oven” he said with a smile.

She smiled brightly, so thankful that it seemed that Logan just knew what she needed. “I think I would my kind sir” she said laughing as they headed back into the ballroom.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

February 1st - Cafe Outside Hartford

Emily Gilmore entered the café just as she had every month for the past 19 years. She smiled at the hostess, she was new but just as nice as the ones who held the position over the past years. 

“Mrs. Gilmore, you table is ready for you. Mrs. Hayden is already waiting” the hostess said with a smile as Emily thanked her and headed to a both over in the back of the café which was reserved for the two woman on the 1st of every month….just as it had been for all the years before.

“Emily” Francine Hayden said as she stood up and embraced her friend. “How are you? And how is Richard?” Francine asked.

“I’m good, enjoying the quiet month of January. Richard is….well you know Richard. He likes to stay busy. How is Straub? And Christopher, has he come back yet?” Emily asked her.

“Well Straub is Straub. The doctor is on his case about his diet but you know Straub. Christopher, he came by to visit but…well you know Christopher, he does not like to stay in Hartford for too long” Francine said, a sadness entering her eyes.

Emily nodded….”You know I wish we could have all just left Hartford” Emily said softly.

“But he was doing a bit better. He thinks he has a lead, of course I don’t let him say anything to Straub. It breaks my heart to see him when he realizes it was a dead end and Straub, he just…..”

Emily reached out her hand and took Francine’s…..”I know. I never tell Richard either. After that one time when Christopher thought he found Lorelai….but when it turned out to be wrong, Richard….I just do not know if he would survive the disappointment. He still blames himself….that he…..”

“Oh Emily, it wasn’t Richard’s fault, it wasn’t Straub’s fault and it wasn’t ours. They were 16 and pregnant, we were their parents and we were trying to figure out the best solution….”

“The difference was Francine, your son he did not take our grandchild and disappear. That was Lorelai, that was my child….to this day I will always blame myself that I left that morning. If I had known that Lorelai was going to run…..”

“You had no idea Emily. None of this was your fault. I just wish….I just wish Richard and Straub were not so stubborn, both of them pretending if they don’t speak about it they will not have to feel the pain. I thank god for you Emily. Your friendship….it has helped me get through this. Knowing I am not the only one thinking about her, wondering where she is….if she…..”

“She is out there Francine, I know it. I feel it. One day we will find her and we will tell her how much we have missed her and how she has always been loved”.

“We will find her won’t we?” Francine said, a tear slowly falling from her eye.

“We will. I have to believe that one day she will be brought back to us” Emily said as she squeezed Francine’s hand in comfort.

Yale

Rory had to stop herself from nervously pacing. There was no reason too, the ball was in her court as Stephanie had told her but still she could not help the pro/con list that was ping-ponging back and forth in her brain.

She forced herself to stop, sat on the bed and took a deep breath. She was going to drive herself insane, there was no reason to over-analyze this situation. She just needed to calm down and relax. Once she felt that she was somewhat calmer she gathered her notepad and the journal and walked out into the common room. 

Logan would be here any minute. Tomorrow they were meeting his dad to go over the clues that Rory and Logan had pulled out from her mom’s journal and then they were heading out to Stars Hallow to meet Mia. Rory felt a little bad that she had not spoken to Mia yet about what she had been doing, but she had not wanted to worry her so instead she told her she was coming for a visit with a friend from school and his dad. Maybe with Logan and Mitchum with her, both who had been amazingly supportive since she told them her secret, she would get up the guts to tell Mia what she had found out.

However her nervousness did not have to do with what she would tell Mia, or even that once she gave her notes to Mitchum there was a real chance that with his help they would find out the answers to all the questions that had been plaguing her mind since that day in November. It wasn’t that she hadn’t always wondered where she came from, or if she had a family looking for her….because those were thoughts that haunted her dreams for years but now knowing that the few things that she believed she did know, like her name and her birthday were all a lie….well that was just the final nail in the coffin so to speak. No her worries all had to do with the fact that she wanted to kiss Logan Huntzberger. Oh she had tried to deny it, she had tried to be level headed and convince herself that she knew she was not ready for a relationship and that a boyfriend was not in her Yale plans, but ever since that kiss on New Year’s she could not get the thought of doing it again out of her mind.

The fact was Dean was right, whether Rory admitted it or not, the feelings she had for Logan were different than the feelings she had with her other friends. She tried to tell herself that it was just because he knew her secrets but she had to stop lying to herself. The fact was she trusted Logan, she did not know why, but with him she felt safe and secure, like none of the nightmares of her past could hurt her. She knew she could trust her other friends, and she knew that day was coming. She hated having secrets between them but deep down…there was just something about Logan, the way he made her feel, the way he cared for her….and the truth was she was attracted to him, not just by his looks but how he was when he was with her. This was something she never thought she would ever feel for any guy. It was as he awakened feelings in her that she thought were killed off years ago and that scared her.

Logan had been nothing but upstanding…since that night at the ski lodge he never made a move towards her. He meant the words he said, he knew she was not ready and he was willing to wait. It even appeared that the natives were a bit less restless. She had to laugh at some of the stories that went around the school about Logan and the lack of his dating and while every once in a while she still got a snotty look from one of the masses, the snide comments had definitely quieted down. It might have been that suddenly half the school population was after Robert now. She had no idea why as he really was a pompous ass, but hey as Stephanie said….it really wasn’t Logan just the size of his trust fund and since it mysteriously got out that Robert has a huge one, the masses suddenly were all flocking in his direction.

Even though Logan had not made a move again they did seem to have a shift in their relationship. He hugged her more, sometimes when they were alone they would hold hands and during movie marathons it was Logan’s shoulder that she would fall asleep against, usually waking up to find his arm around her, gently holding her. They were all sweet and comforting gestures with no sexual overtones at all, but Rory suddenly realized that being safe is Logan’s arms did a 360 on her libido which up until then, she really did not believe she even had.  
Thinking back to her conversation with Dean the other night she had to laugh at the panic she was in when she called him.

Flashback

“So what do I owe for this mid-week call?” Dean said with a laugh as he picked up the phone on a Tuesday.

“Logan kissed me” Rory blurted out.

“Wait what? I mean he did not hurt you right, did he make you feel uncomfortable, do you need me to talk to him? I have his number, if you are uncomfortable I can call him, I will make him……”

“Dean I am fine. It was just a brief kiss on New Year’s Eve” Rory told him.

“Oh ok, well if that was…..wait a minute Rory Haymore, New Year’s Eve was almost a month ago and you are just getting around to telling me that Logan kissed you?”

“I know…I was just processing it you know?”

“And….how do you feel about it, you know the kiss? Do you have….Rory do you like Logan?”

 

“I liked the kiss and….yeah I like Logan. Oh god Dean what is wrong with me? I mean I never even looked at a guy, I mean as a guy and with Logan I just….I feel so…..”  
“Rory calm down, start at the beginning”

“Well you know I went to the lodge with them and I told you they had this gala and about the fireworks, it was amazing Dean”.

“Yes you did mention the amazing fireworks…..”Dean said with a laugh.

“Well you know it stuck midnight and everyone was hugging each other and kissing and he…well he wished me a Happy New Year and he kissed me and then…well then he said he was sorry”.

“Sorry…why would he say he was sorry?”

“I figured it was just because you know he got caught up in the moment, I mean that is what you do on New Year’s right? You kiss the closest person to you and I did not want him to feel bad so I told him it was fine, that it was just a spur of the moment thing and then he told me it wasn’t a moment, that he had wanted to kiss me but he knew I was not ready for a relationship or even if I would want one with him and that he did not want me to feel uncomfortable to not trust him…..”

Dean was just smiling through her rant….a part of him was happy that Rory had made this step and was not totally having a panic attack. The fact that she had not mentioned it to Dean for weeks, well he knew that meant that Rory was ok with the kiss, just trying to figure out what it meant.  
“Well it sounds like he totally understands and he is willing to wait” Dean told her.

“Yeah he told me he would, that he understands that I need a friend right now and I told him I trusted him and then I kissed him back, I mean a fast kiss but….”

“Ok so you and Logan kissed and you are ok with it and you like him so what is the problem? Rory, there is nothing wrong with you having someone special while you are in school. From what you tell me you and Logan seem to understand a lot about each other and have the same interests….”  
“I know it’s just that…..well I kind of want to kiss him again” Rory said quickly, almost as she was scared to say the words.

“You mean you haven’t kissed since New Year’s?”

“Well I told Logan he was right, that I wasn’t ready and he has been amazing, I mean we have gotten a little closer like he hugs me more and sometimes when we watch a movie he puts his arm around me but I think he is waiting until I am ready and while I am not ready for anything more than you know kissing I don’t know how to let him know that I kind of want to kiss him again? I think I am insane, you know what Dean? Let’s forget this conversation ever happened. I really must be….”

“Rory, just kiss him”.

“Dean I can’t just kiss him. I mean what if he thinks that by me kissing him it means I am ready for more and how do I explain that I am not ready for that….but is it even fair to kiss him if I can’t do more?”

“Rory, a kiss does not mean it has to lead to sex and I am almost positive that Logan will know that a kiss is just that a kiss. You said you trust him, then you have to trust that he would not hurt you. I don’t know him well but I can tell he cares about you a great deal and he would do anything to not ever hurt you” he reassured her.

“But what if I can’t ever…I mean”

“Rory have you told him?”

“No, I can’t ever tell him that, he would never want to be with me then. God what I am I talking about, I have no right to want this, I mean I did not even plan to ever….”

“Rory….you found someone who cares about you, that makes you happy and makes you feel safe. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you are feeling and there is nothing wrong with you Rory….what happened wasn’t your fault, Logan would never judge you because of that, even I know that and I don’t know him that well. All I know is that I met someone who cares about my friend, someone who you have started to trust. When you are ready, you will tell him and he will understand”

End of Flashback

Talking to Dean made her realize that she did trust Logan and she needed to trust him with what she was feeling. That was all good she guessed but still did not answer her question about how to bring it up to him that she wanted to kiss him again. She dwelled on that fact for an hour before she heard Stephanie come into the room.

Flashback

“Ok, what has you so deep in thought?” Stephanie asked as she sat down on the bed next to Rory.

“Logan and I kissed on New Year’s” Rory blurted out.

“Really? And I am only hearing this good gossip now?” Stephanie said with a laugh, even though she had witnessed the kiss but she wanted Rory to share the news with her when she was ready and she was guessing she was ready now.

“Well I was you know thinking everything through” Rory said quietly.

“You like Logan as more than a friend?” Stephanie asked already guessing the answer.

“I do but I am really not ready for a relationship and Logan said he understood that and that we would be friends for as long as I needed us to just be friends”.

“And he means it sweetie. He likes you….a lot. You can see it in how he looks at you and cares for you. Rory, he has never been like this with any girl. You are special to him, you know that right?”

“I know he cares about me and he is a really good friend”.

“He is and if he said he is ok just being friends until you are ready then he means it. You can trust him” Stephanie assured her.

“I know it’s just that….”

“Rory you can talk to me about anything you know that” Stephanie told her.

“I kind of want to kiss him again” Rory said shyly before looking away.

A smile grew on Stephanie’s face….”So kiss him” she told her.

“That is what Dean said but I can’t just kiss him. Can I?”

“Of course you can”.

“But I am not ready for anything else, I mean…well Logan is used to girls that you know and if I kiss him what if he thinks that maybe I am like them but….”

“Rory….you are nothing like those other girls and Logan knows that. That is why he likes you. Trust me Rory, Logan is not going to expect anything more than you are willing to give. He already walks around with a stupid ass grin and the only thing you guys do is hold hands….trust me, a kiss would be more than enough. He would never pressure you”.

“I trust him I just don’t want to be unfair to him you know. I mean I might not be experienced but I know enough that I don’t want to start something and then leave him uncomfortable” Rory said looking anywhere but at Stephanie as a blush spread across her face.

“Rory he will be fine, trust me. A kiss does not lead to sex and even if Logan did get a bit….excited, he has two hands” Stephanie said laughing as Rory looked away blushing but with a smile on her face.

“Ok….I think I am going to do it”.

“God I wish I could be a fly on the wall when you do….”

End of Flashback

So now here she was, waiting for Logan and trying to figure out when she should kiss him when she heard the knock on her door. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the door and opened it.

“Hey Ace. I come bearing gifts” Logan said with a smile as he handed her a coffee and walked past her to place a pizza box on her coffee table.

Logan turned around and found Rory still standing by the door….”Ace you ok?”

“What, oh yeah I am fine. Coffee and pizza, I am a lucky girl” she said as she walked over to the couch and sat down.

“Well are you hungry now? We could wait a bit and finish off the list for my dad and then we can watch a movie if you want” Logan told her as he shrugged off his jacket and sat down next to her.

“What?” she said looked over at him.

Logan was a little worried now, Rory definitely seemed off. “Rory are you sure you are ok?”

“Yeah, I am just…” suddenly she moved over closer to him and pressed her lips to his.

Logan was frozen for a moment as he felt her lips move softly against his. Rory sensing that he had not responded started to pull away, snapping Logan out of his momentary shock at feeling Rory’s lips against his and he brought his hand up slowly to her cheek and kissed her back, slowly, softly, letting her lead until she finally pulled back.

He stared into her eyes and a smile played across his lips. “I think I am the lucky one” he said softly. “Any reason why I got such a reward this evening?” he added.

“I just wanted to kiss you again…is that ok?”

“More than ok….” He said as he kissed her softly on the forehead and put his arm around her gently, easing her head onto his shoulder.

“So it would be alright if we did that more often?” she asked him shyly.

He moved so he could look at her face while he spoke…”I would love to kiss you more often…but….”

“But?”

“I just want to make sure you are comfortable with it, I don’t want you to feel like you are rushing into anything. When I said I would wait until you are ready, I meant it Rory. Just spending time with you is enough for me….”

Rory looked up at him. “I know. I trust you. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything”

“Are you ok if we just kissed. I mean, I really wanted to kiss you and I think I will again but I know it isn’t fair to lead a guy on and kissing might make you want to you know, and I just really know that I am not ready for anything else and….”

Her question threw him for a loop, it also concerned him that she would feel that kissing was leading a guy on. “Rory look at me. Kissing me is not leading me on. Kissing is two people showing their feelings for each other that’s all. Just because we kiss I would never expect anything else and no one should ever expect that. In the future, even if we ever did you know do more than kiss, all you have to do is say stop or no and I would stop Rory. I would never hurt you like that….”

“But you would be mad right? I mean if a girl gets a guy all worked up then she shouldn’t make him stop”.

“I would never be mad Rory. Never. No guy should ever be mad. It is never too late to say stop, ok?” Logan told her as her wrapped his arms around her and held her as she buried her face against his chest. He tried to just enjoy this moment, feeling her in his arms but he could not stop his mind from analyzing her words and the concern and anger that was building up in him when he imagined why she would ever feel like she could not say stop or no. Forcing the thoughts out of his mind, he just concentrated on her breathing softly against his chest and held her a bit tighter, as if he was trying to protect her from whatever happened in her past that hurt her.


	14. Little Girl Lost - Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with my updates. I am going on vacation next week so work has been insane as I have to get everything done before I leave. I am hoping to have at least three more updates complete before I go....keeping my fingers crossed.
> 
> The story time with jump a bit as things start to heat up, I will try to highlight was happened during the missed time in flashbacks or through Rory and Logan's inner thoughts. Let me know if there is any confusion.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me and hope you enjoy.

Chapter 14

Logan shut the TV off with the remote. They had been cuddled on the couch watching a movie, or at least that was what they had planned on doing. What they had really been doing was more kissing, which was something they had done more of over the past few weeks since that night that Rory has made a move to change their relationship. And it had. Without saying the words, the both knew what they were feeling was more than friendship but they kept these changes private. There were no labels or public displays of affection other that what they had been doing, a brief hug here and there, holding hands at times late in the evening as they walked back from the Yale Daily News. Whatever was happening between them was between them and Logan knew that for Rory privacy was very important to her, she would not want to be the target of idle gossip, which most definitely would be happening once their relationship became public. Not that Logan would have had an issue if they were public, he cared for Rory and he had no reason to hide it, but Rory was not ready and he was fine at their relationship moving exactly at the speed it was moving at….which was nice and slow. Their close knit group of friends knew that the dynamics of their relationship changed, but they did not bring it up, or talk about it in conversation. While they still did not know the extent of Rory’s past, they all knew that letting her and Logan progress at their own pace was what she needed so while they never talked about it, each one of them had smiles a mile wide when they watched them together.

While yes kissing had been added to the mix, it was still all very innocent. Really innocent….open mouth kisses were about all they happened between them. They had not even added tongue into the mix, it almost made him feel like a schoolboy again but in the end it was all worth it. Logan knew that for this to work he needed Rory to know she was in control and while some guys would have found it frustrating, he found it refreshing. While he left when they kissed up to Rory, he made sure she knew he wanted her, and oh he did. So much in fact that he had not taken a hot shower in weeks. He had to laugh at himself, the guy he was a year ago would not even recognize the guy he was now, but Logan had to admit to himself he really was liking the person he was becoming, and that was all because of the girl who was comfortably sleeping in his arms.

When he left on his year long trip of travel, he saw himself as being free, a year without caring about anything but the fact was he surprised himself at how after the first few weeks, while he loved spending time with Colin and Finn, the thrill of a year of wanderlust just wasn’t doing it for him. He has partied anyway, I mean that was what the year was all about, and he had his share of woman but towards the end of the trip he really had a different outlook on what he wanted out of his life and suddenly the past few years of his life was not how he wanted to see his future. He had already put it in his head that he would cut back on partying when he returned to Yale, he would still enjoy a party or two and he loved the brotherhood of the Life and Death Brigade, but there was nothing wrong with having fun but also getting a bit more serious about life. Rory knocking into him with a box full of books was the best thing that could have happened to him. The fact was while he had all of these positive ideas for his future, meeting her gave him even more of a push to see those ideas through. She had become one of the most important people in his life and while he knew Rory was not ready to hear it, he had already admitted to himself he was half way in love with her already. He just could not help having a smile on his face when he was around her, she just made him happy and content, something that he had not been in a long time, probably not since he was a kid and too innocent to notice how much drama really surrounded his life.

His friends made him happy, he would not have made it through without them but Rory filled a different role for him, something the old Logan would have run from, but the person he was now, it was something he wanted more than anything. Relaxed and content Logan let his eyes shut as well and he drifted off to sleep.

Logan woke from his sleep to find Rory pulling out of his arms. Not realizing what was happening it took a few moments to realize that she was still fast asleep.

“No Jess I said stop….stop” Rory yelled out as she jumped up, her breathing labored, her body shaking as she tried to pull away from the arms that held her. 

“Rory, it’s Logan….just relax, I have you. You were having a bad dream” he said as he loosened his arms from around her but still held her lightly as he ran his hand over her hair. “Look at me Rory, it’s just me. No one can hurt you, I’ve got you” Logan said softly as he felt Rory’s slowly relax back against him.

“I’m sorry” Rory whispered.

“Hey, look at me. You don’t have to apologize, you had a nightmare….it’s ok, you are ok” he said softly. He just held her loosely, rubbing his hand up and down her back. He took a deep breath, he did not want to show Rory that hearing her scream out like that had him reeling with concern. It wasn’t like it had not happened before. There had been a couple of times that they had been watching a movie and Rory would fall asleep and he would find that she was somewhat struggling in her sleep. He did not mention it to her, but out of concern he asked Stephanie if she had noticed anything. Stephanie told him that a couple of nights she had been awakened by hearing Rory call out in her sleep. Up until now, nothing that she had mumbled was coherent, but today was different. He had heard her loud and clear…it was almost as if she was begging someone named Jess to stop. 

He knew he could ask her, but he was too scared for her reaction, or maybe he was not ready to hear what caused her to awaken with such terror in her eyes. So for now he just held her until she calmed but he knew that sooner or later he would have to talk to someone. He had Dean’s number in his phone. He had given it to him the day at the pub just as an emergency number in case Logan ever needed to reach someone but he had yet to use it. He thought about maybe taking a drive out to Stars Hallow. Logan liked Mia right off the bat at their first meeting. He could see the love she had for Rory and was so welcoming to him and his father. It was at that first meeting that Rory finally told Mia what had happened with her birth certificate and Mia had confessed that Joan had come to visit her right before Thanksgiving and told her that there was an issue with her birth certificate but she had not said anything as she did not want to ruin Rory’s holidays and that she had still been struggling to find a way to tell Rory the news she had found out. Once the confessions were out of the way, the rest of the afternoon they had talked about some of the things she had found in her mother’s journal and Mitchum explained the steps he would be taking to help Rory find out the answers that had plagued her for so long. 

At one point Rory and Logan had gone for a walk, Rory showing him all the highlights of Stars Hallow, even introducing him to Luke when they stopped for coffee. Logan just enjoying finding out more about Rory, the girl that had worked herself into her heart. Logan had actually been back two other times with Rory to visit for the day, one time Mitchum even joining them again as he had a few more questions and it seemed, even though Mitchum did not say anything, he seemed to enjoy Mia’s company. He had mentioned to Logan how impressed he was at what Mia was doing. 

Logan was brought out of his thoughts by Rory pulling herself slowly from his arms.

“I am going to take a shower” she told him.

“Ok….do you want me to go?” he asked hoping she wouldn’t say yes. He really did not want to leave her alone, but he also did not want to make her feel that that he did not think she was fine by herself.

“Do you mind staying? Maybe we could go grab some dinner at the pub?” Rory said, hoping she did not sound clingy but while she knew she would be ok, nightmares were nothing unusual for her, even though the past few times she couldn’t really remember what they were about but the truth was she really did not want to be alone.

“Of course I am staying, I actually have some reading to do for my economics class. Go, enjoy your shower and then we will head out for dinner” he told her as he stood up and brushed his lips against her forehead.

“Ok, I won’t be long” she said with a shy smile as she headed into her room and her bathroom.

Logan debated a bit before he heard the water running in the bathroom and he took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through until he found the number he was looking for.

The phone rang three times before he heard the click…..

“Logan, is Rory ok?” Dean asked worried. He was in class when he phone vibrated and when he saw who was calling he barely tripped as he headed out of his classroom.

“She is ok….I….look please don’t tell her I called. I just, well I wasn’t sure who to ask and….”

“No, I won’t say anything. What is going on? I was surprised to see your number”.

“She has been having nightmares. Stephanie said she has heard her call out a few times at night and well there has been a few times she fell asleep when we were watching a movie and she wakes shaking and scared. She always mumbles something but up until today her words were never coherent. Today they were”.

Dean took a breath and headed outside the classroom building and headed over to a bench. 

“What did she say?” 

“She was begging someone to stop….someone named Jess?”

Dean was taken aback for a moment, he was sure that Logan was going to say Russ. That was usually what Rory’s nightmares were about. He had witnessed them more than a few times. It took a long time before Rory finally confided in him about what had happened but hearing that she called out Jess was somewhat surprising.

“Jess? Are you sure that was what she said?”

“Yeah, she said it twice. I….I don’t want to ask her. Whatever it is upsets her and well if she tells me it has to be when she is ready. She has told me a lot….about growing up and….”

“Yeah she told me that she told you. She trusts you Logan and well it means a lot to me that she has someone there for her since I can’t be. I know we do not really know each other well but…you make her happy and that means the world to me”.

Logan smiled at that. It was strange but it almost felt good to hear Dean say that, he knew Rory trusted Dean a lot. He wasn’t surprised that Dean said he knew she had shared stuff with him and it did not bother him. In a way, it made him feel that he was doing something right if Rory shared with Dean that she was happy.

“So this Jess? Do you know anything about him? I don’t want to betray her trust and I don’t expect you to tell me secrets she shared with you, I just…well I need some guidance on how to handle this when she has these nightmares”.

“To be honest I really don’t know much about him, just that he was another kid that was in the same foster house that she was in before she came to live with Mia. From what Rory told me basically he was just an annoyance, he liked playing the bad boy role and she said his friends were creepy but she really did not mention him much. Basically he was just there and she tried hard not to be around him. He had a job so he was out of the house a lot, I think he was a year or two older than her so there wasn’t much interaction. She never mentioned anything happening with him that really upset her, just that he would often tease her and she would just tell him to shut up and she would brush it off”.

“Maybe that was it, maybe she dreamed he was teasing her but….I don’t know Dean, the look in her eyes, she just seemed terrified”.

“All I can say is whatever you are doing just keep doing. How is she once she wakes up? Does she say anything?”

“Mostly she apologizes, which is ridiculous but I just tell her it is fine, that it isn’t her fault that she had a nightmare that we all get them. Usually within 5 – 10 minutes she calms down and then she just gets back into whatever we were doing”.

“Where is she now?”

“In the shower. She wanted to go out to grab something for dinner. I should go before she gets out I just wish that I could help her you know? I hate seeing her upset”.

“I get that…it’s hard to watch but you are there for her and she isn’t running which shows that she trusts you more and more every day. Hey I have an idea….have you spoken to Mia? I know Rory has said you have gone with her to visit a few times over the past few weeks. Maybe there is something she knows or at least can reassure you with that might help?”

“I was thinking about that…..hey the water turned off and I don’t want her to think….”

“I get it, trust me I do. If you don’t mind though, can you keep me updated?

“I definitely will. Thank you Dean for just, well hearing me out”.

“Anytime man, anytime” Dean said as he hung up the phone. What Logan said to him upsetting him more than he let on to Logan. Rory had mentioned Jess only a handful of times and she never let on that Jess was anything more than a pain, but Logan saying she had called out his name put some terrible thoughts in Dean’s mind, ones he really did not want to contemplate on. 

Logan smiled as Rory came out of her room in a pair of relaxed jeans and a t-shirt and a smile on her face.

“Good shower?”

“Yeah I feel much better and I am starting to get hungry” she told him with a laugh.

“Well then I better get you to the pub and get some food into you before you are starving. I know not to let a Haymore girl go to long without sustenance” he said with a smirk.

They headed to the pub and enjoyed some burgers and nachos and eventually the gang joined them for a bit before Rory and Logan had called it a night and decided to take a walk.

“Rory, you sure you want to go to the Library Gala on Saturday? I mean if you rather not go I am ok with it” he asked her. Mitchum has told him last week about the Gala for the new dedication of the Yale Library, one that HPG had made a large donation and that he needed both him and Honor to attend. Mitchum of course told Logan to bring Rory. Over the past few months since the Thanksgiving incident he has gotten to know Rory a bit and one of the things he learned was that she was a lover of books which made him smile. He himself loved a good read, something his son got from him and he had enjoyed how many of the conversations with Rory turned into a talk on literature. It seemed to be a great icebreaker for them and it surprisingly warmed his heart that she seemed more and more comfortable around him each time he saw her.

“Do you not want to go and you just want to use me as an excuse?” she said with her own smirk, that was relatively new and that Logan found cute and endearing.

“There is no way I can get out of it Ace, I just don’t want you to have to suffer on my account” he said with a chuckle.

“Logan if you would rather I not go I understand. I mean people might assume stuff if I go and maybe it is better if….”

Logan stopped walked and turned towards her taking her hand. “Rory, I would love nothing more than to have you on my arm at the gala. I just…I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know how much you treasure your privacy and I respect it and understand it. Trust me I hate that my life is so much on display because of my name but you are right. If we show up together people will know you are my girlfriend and I don’t want it to get out and then the girls start bothering you again and…..”. Suddenly Logan stopped midway through his sentence realizing what he said.

He looked down, almost scared to see the reaction to what he had said but he took a breath and looked up at her face.

“Is that what I am to you? Your girlfriend?” Rory asked shyly. Strangely enough the idea did not bother her which was surprising. The idea of being anyone’s girlfriend or even putting herself into that position would have had her running in the opposite direction a few short months ago. The fact was while she used the excuse she was coming to Yale for an education not a boyfriend, the truth was the idea of being in that kind of relationship scared the wits out of her, just being around most guys had her in a panic but it was different with Logan….everything was different with Logan and she had no idea why.

Logan took a deep breath and figured he might as well say what was on his mind…..”I would love if you were my girlfriend but I also want you to know I meant what I said on New Year’s. I would never pressure you to be in a relationship until you were ready. I am fine how things are now, we are moving at our own speed and if you aren’t ready for us to label what we are to each other, I am ok….I am more than ok to wait” Logan said wanting to say more but not wanting to overwhelm her either.

Rory started to say something but Logan stopped her and took her hand and brought it to his lips and softly kissed her and then realized he needed her to know it all….

“I am ok waiting Rory because….” He was struggling to find the words to explain what he wanted to say and Rory picked up on it.

Rory looked at him curiously. It was rare for Logan to struggle with expressing himself.

“Rory I see a future with you, or I want a future with you. I know we are both in college and we have some many decisions about where we go after we graduate and what we want out of our lives I just, I need you to know that I see you a part of those decisions. Basically what I am saying is, if you need to wait, if you are not ready for this to be more, if you just want to keep it as it is for now, I am ok with it because we have all the time in the world, I want us to set the pace that is right for you. As long as you are happy and comfortable I am fine with it. You are worth the wait Rory Haymore”.

Rory had admitted to herself that she had feelings for Logan. Strong feelings…she even admitted to Dean and Stephanie about how she felt, not about how strong those feelings were, but she had admitted them but even after admitting them, there was still this gate she kept locked, her protection….the one that would allow her to run if she needed but looking into his eyes, listening to his words, it was as if the lock on the gate was slowly chipping away and more than anything she wanted to release the chains and fully give her trust to Logan.   
“Can we go back to my room?” she said. 

“Ok, Rory I am sorry, I did not mean to upset you. Just forget….”

“You didn’t upset me Logan. I can see a future with you too, or more like I can’t see a future without you in it, even if all we are ever is just friends. I….I want to be your girlfriend Logan but you might want to take it back after….after I tell you”

“Rory, I would never take it back….there is nothing you could tell me that would make me not want to be with you” Logan said.

“You can’t say that Logan….no one can say that” she said softly as she let go of his hand and started walking towards her dorm.

Logan started walking as the feeling of dread rose through him as he slowly followed Rory to her dorm.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mature content about sexual abuse.

Chapter 15 

Logan followed Rory into her room and watched as she walked across the room and looked out the window. He was unsure how to proceed. She was upset and he wanted to give her space to process her thoughts but he also did not want her to feel he was pulling away. He stood for a moment contemplating whether he should wait for her to take the lead, or if he should go over to her when she turned around and he saw the tears in her eyes. He walked swiftly over to her and wrapped his arms around her and just let her cry. He was silently cursing himself for even slipping with the girlfriend word. The fact was he did see her as a girlfriend, something he had never had before but she was different, he never wanted anyone to see her as someone that he was just messing around with....because he wasn't. New Year's Eve when he told her he would wait, he meant it. He was committed to her and even though the words were never said, he wanted to give her the respect she deserved as the woman he cared for deeply.

"Whatever it is Rory we can work through it you know that. We are in this together. There is nothing that would make me walk away from you" he said softly as she buried her head into his chest, his hand softly running through her hair.

Finally she looked up at him, her eyes rimmed with tears. His heart broke thinking that his stupidity caused this...."I'm so sorry Rory. I did not mean to upset you before...I just needed you to know what I was feeling. I don't care if no one else knows but I need you to understand what I feel, I need you to know what I feel about you" he told her.

"You did not upset me Logan" she said looking down but she took his hand and walked with him to the couch.

"Rory you can tell me anything you know that. Can you tell me what upset you?" 

Rory looked away for a moment, trying to formulate in her head what she wanted to say, how to make him understand....

"The day before I came to Yale I was leaving the bookstore where I worked for the last time. It was kind of bittersweet you know, I mean the bookstore had been a part of my life since I got to Stars Hallow. Even before I was old enough to technically work, Andrew would pay me off the books to help out. I loved being there, surrounded by books"

"A love you have not outgrown" Logan said with a smile, one that Rory returned with a shy one of her own.

"I think I always liked reading, it was my escape....you could get lost in a story and kind of forget real life for a little while. Anyway I was walking based Doose's, Dean was closing up and we stood outside and talked for a bit. We talked about me going off to Yale and him off in California and how he needed to run by any potential girlfriends with me, he had a habit of dating stalkers, you should have met his last girlfriend. Anyway, he told me it went both ways and I laughed and told him that he would not have much of a job because I wasn't going to Yale to get a boyfriend I was going to get an education".

"And I pushed you into something that you weren't looking for" Logan said with a frown.

"No....that wasn't what I was going to say, stop being negative about yourself, I don't like when you put yourself or your choices down so just listen ok?"

Logan nodded. "The truth was it was an excuse. It was easier to say I wasn't looking for it than to say the idea of being in a relationship scares me. I am so scared of getting close to anyone to lose them, and then there is the whole intimacy thing and being close to a guy. I mean Logan it was obvious that for the first few weeks being around you, Colin and Finn has me in a state of panic. Not because of who you were, just because....well I have never really been comfortable around guys. You can ask Dean, it was almost a year before I would actually even talk to him alone without someone around us. But then I got to know all of you and suddenly the panic just turned to fear and soon just to being a bit uncomfortable and then....well one day I was walking with Finn to class and I realized that the nerves that was always there when I was with one of you alone wasn't there anymore".

Logan smiled at her. He was still nervous about whatever it was that made her upset, but it made him feel good to know that she felt comfortable around him and the boys. That she knew they cared about her and would never hurt her.

"With you I feel safe. Safer than I have ever felt. I like being close to you, I like kissing you....."

"I like being close to you too and I definitely like kissing you" Logan replied.

"I don't care about what others say about us Logan. I care about you and I don't care who knows that. I meant what I said outside. I don't know when it really happened but when I think of my future, the next few years of college, getting my first job....it's strange but I can't see that future without you being a part of it. I....I know I could get through it without you, but I don't want to".

"You don't have to Rory because when I think of my future I see you in it as well. And if the girlfriend label is too much now we can just call it whatever you want....we can keep it like it is. I just...I just want to spend time with you, be there for you. Please Rory don't pull away, whatever is upsetting you we can get through together. I promise you".

"I like the idea of being your girlfriend Logan. I want to be your girlfriend. It's just...."

"What is it Rory, you can tell me".

"It's not fair to you, I mean I know sex isn't the only part of a relationship but it is a big part. I like kissing you and being with you but it isn't fair to you. I don't know when or if I will ever be ready for us to....you know, have sex and sooner or later you will want it, I mean you are a man who has needs and sooner or later you will be tired of just barely kissing your girlfriend and you will want more and I would let you go, I would because I care about you and I want you happy but it would break my heart to lose you because of my stupid insecurities and....."  
"Rory....stop. Listen to me. Yes, intimacy is a big part of a relationship but there are so many ways to be intimate. Holding you in my arms, kissing you, spending time with you....intimacy has to do with the emotions involved, not just the act. I know you are a virgin and there is no rush for us to do more than what we are doing right now. You are not ready for that, neither am I....."

"Logan I hear things, I know how you were, well before me. You slept with most girls on their first date and usually that was the extent of your relationship and I am not condemning you for it. I mean you are a young guy who is having fun. You are in college, you are supposed to have fun".

"Rory...I had sex with a lot of girls. It was a way to de-stress. There were no emotions involved, there was no intimacy. It was a physical thing....it was sex".

"Exactly, sex Logan. Something you should be able to have with your girlfriend".

"Rory I don't want to have sex with you".

"Wait...what?"

Logan smiled at her and pulled her closer to him. "Rory, I never wanted a girlfriend. It wasn't about committing to someone like everyone says. It was about me never wanting to add emotions into the mix. I have watched my parents in a loveless marriage, I have watched my dad and his business associates pick up random women because they did not have any kind of relationship with their wives once the kids were born. I figured that was how relationships were supposed to be so why bother. But then we went away last year and the first few weeks yeah were fun, but trust me even with partying and random girls, cruising around on a yacht gives you a lot of time to think....and what I realized was that I did not want that kind of life. I mean yeah, that was all I knew but I have seen a few good relationships and that was what I wanted. I did not want a wife at home that looked good on my arm and would give me the two perfect little kids who I would never see because I hated going home to a woman I had nothing in common with. I did not want random women who would fill the roles that my own wife couldn't....the fact is, those relationships would be just as empty as the one I had at home."

"So what do you want?" Rory asked him.

It was as if the words tumbled out of him. It almost shocked him that he had no trouble explaining what he wanted and he truly wondered where the words were coming from but then he realized ....for the first time in his life he wasn't taking with his groin, or using his head to manipulate words to get what he wanted. For the first time he was speaking from his heart and he was shocked to realize he wasn't scared. All that he had been keeping in, his wishes, his dreams came pouring out in a ramble that would be impressive to even someone of Rory's caliber.   
"I want to find the person that fits with me perfectly. Someone who sees me for me, not for my name. Someone who I can laugh with and cry with. Someone I can share my dreams with and my fears. I want a partner Rory, not someone who is going to make me the center of their life, but someone who has their own interests but that would be willing to allow me to share in hers and I want her to share in mine. I want to give my heart to someone, I want them to be my best friend, I want to have fun with them, I want to experience with them what making love is with my whole heart, with emotions involved, not just having sex for a physical release. I want to find that level of intimacy that can only be found when you find the person who was just made for you....I want you Rory. I know our relationship is new, and I shocked myself with how fast my feelings for you grew and I know the kind of relationship that I want so bad takes time and work and I am willing to give it both. I don't want to rush our feelings or rush being together. I want the opportunity to grow together, find out who we are separately and how together it will be even better. I want you to follow your dreams and I want you to share in mine. I just want the chance Rory....and I don't want you to worry about the speed of our relationship, or the labels or sex, that is the least of my concerns. I want us to get to know each other, I want to be with you every step of the way as you find the answers you need, I want to watch you grow as a person, until you can see the smart, confident, beautiful woman that I care so much about and when we are both ready, when our emotions are both ready for the commitment of giving ourselves to each other mind, heart and body, then you being a virgin won't matter because I will take such good care of you. I would never hurt you Rory....so you take all the time you need. I just want us to concentrate on us now, our friendship and everything else will grow from there".

Tears were running down her face as she felt the final chains around her heart falling apart and hearing him proclaim his feelings for her, he dreams that included her should scare her but instead they just made her feel so safe. Safe enough to face her fears head on.....

"I'm not a virgin" she whispered.

For a brief moment Logan felt jealously, not that he had a right too. He himself had given himself to others several times over. Then there were the nightmares....could that be what made her scream out in her sleep? The jealousy turned to anger at thinking that someone had taken advantage of her at such a young age, I mean she had already told him that she arrived to Mia's when she was 14.....and then his mind turned to Dean? Could their friendship maybe have taken a turn one night? These thoughts were running through his mind but he kept his face neutral.....

"Rory, it's ok. It doesn't make me think anything less of you, it also does not mean that just because you...had sex that I would expect it now. Every relationship is different and on its own timetable. Rory....all that matters is what is right for us".

"If I could choose who my first experience would have been, it would have been you Logan. You make me happy, you keep me safe....I just....I wish I was clean for you" she said as tears ran down her face.

Her last comment bothered him and suddenly his mind went back to his second thought....did some guy in her foster home take advantage of her? Is that why she is so nervous around guys? Did someone hurt her? Suddenly hearing her call out Jess, stop Jess came running back into his mind and that was what he was focusing on so for a moment when she started speaking again he did not catch on at first.

"I wanted him to stop, I begged him to stop but he said if I yelled he would tell my mother I came on to him. He told me it was my job to take care of him when my mother was too busy and it hurt Logan, it hurt so much....."

Logan felt his stomach drop and his heart clenched when the full effect of what she was saying hit him.

"Rory...who hurt you?"

"Russ. My mother's boyfriend. I hated living with them and I told my social worker but he had kept telling me I had to give my mother a chance. I did not want to Logan, I wanted to go back to my foster home but they wouldn't let me. He kept whispering things to me when my mother wasn't around and I would lock myself in my room but he had a key. I told my mother I did not like him but she said why was I trying to ruin her relationship after everything she did to get me back. The first time....he put a sock in my mouth so I couldn't scream, I tried to make him stop but he was so much bigger than me and he held me down and....and it hurt, like my insides were being ripped out and when he was done he told me to clean up the mess. There was so much blood. He said if my mother found out she would blame me. That he would leave her and that she would blame me. It happened two more times the same way, he would come into my room and put the sock in my mouth....I tried to tell my mother but she was always too busy and as soon as I said Russ' name she would start in about how I needed to stop complaining and just learn to get along with him. The last time my mom was out again, she was always out. Russ came into my room....and....and he wasn't alone. He told me to be a good little girl and I begged him, I begged him Logan to stop and his friend held me down and put his hand over my mouth and then when Russ was finished he....they changed places and.....the next day at school I went into the bathroom and I was bleeding and I hurt and I went to the nurse and she asked me if it was the first time I had my period and I told her it wasn't my period....and I knew my mother would be mad but suddenly I could not stop the tears and the nurse asked me what was wrong and the next thing I knew the cops were there and my social worker and other people and....then I went to live with the Millers".

Logan tried to remember the talk Rory had with him and his dad, about when she went to live with the Millers. Trying to figure out how old she was when all of this happened. Oh god she was 13....she had told them between 9 and 12 she lived with four families and then the courts gave her back to her mother......

He scooped her up in his arms and held her close to him as she cried, more like sobbed into his chest. Her body shaking, he could feel her heart beating against his and he was filled with such rage, how could anyone hurt a child like this....how could a woman birth a child and allow them to live through such horror. There was a part of him that almost wished they would find out that this Lori woman was not Rory's real mother, he could not comprehend how anyone could allow their child to suffer like Rory did.

Logan held her to him for almost 20 minutes before her sobs slowed down and she took a few gasping breaths. He could not allow her to see his anger....he would deal with that alone but what he needed to do is find the right words, even though there were none that came to mind but he had to try to at least make this better for her, reassure her that she was not dirty or unclean....that she was beautiful and sweet and so full of life and that none of these people who hurt her would be allowed to hurt her again. He would never allow anyone to hurt her again.

"Rory....."

She pulled her head slowly from his chest and looked at him....she saw the tears in his eyes and for a brief moment she wanted to run. So she would not have to see the pity....but then he pulled her close and for the first time ever he brought his lips to hers. Before this he would kiss her check, or her head but never her lips, that control he left up to Rory but he realized at this moment Rory needed him to take control.

He kissed her softly, just letting his lips move over hers. At first she stayed frozen, but after a few seconds he felt her lips respond under his. It was probably the most tender kiss he had ever given....or that she had ever received but as he pulled away he put his hand on her check.

"I need you to listen to me ok?" for a moment he thought about what to say. He did not want to pity her, she did not need that what she needed was his strength and his belief in her and that was what he would give her. He would shed the tears that he felt for her later....Rory nodded.

"You were dealt a really messed up hand. The people that should have protected you didn't. None of this was your fault. You were strong and brave and you tried your hardest to fight back. You said something to me before, about not being a virgin, about being unclean....Rory you are a virgin. What they did to you was a violent act, they took something from you that was not theirs to take. No one....no one can take your virginity Rory. Giving up your virginity is the emotional act of trusting someone enough to give them your heart and your body. What they did was take your innocence. What they did makes them unclean do you hear me? They are the ones dirty Rory not you. I cannot imagine, nor would I even want to imagine what you went through. They tried to break you but they didn't did they? Look at you Rory. You are here at Yale. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are kind and sweet. They might have stolen your innocence Rory but they did not break you....they did not take your right away to choose. I want you to know that when I look at you, I see someone so strong, someone who will get everything she wants out of life with her determination, with her perseverance, with her strength and her way of being so positive when so many other people use the littlest issues as an excuse to give up. You are not a quitter Rory and I know there are times when what you went through will try to pull you down but at those times I want you to lean on me ok? I won't let you down Rory. I wish I could take away your pain but I know I can't. There aren't words to fix this...."

"No you are right but your words come really close" she told him as she leaned up and kissed him and he closed his eyes and let her lips softly move over his before she pulled back and he just wrapped her in his arms.

He knew the exact moment she fell asleep, her body went lax in his arms, her breathing finally calmed and he could feel her breath against his neck where her face lay buried in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

His mind was going a mile a minute....trying to process and re-process what she told him, how he thought nothing could be worse than thinking some young kid took advantage of her but this....this was something his own mind could not even formulate. He needed to shut his mind down....so he moved a bit so he could lean against the side of the sofa and put his legs up, her small body shifting with his and in her sleep she curled into him and just as the afternoon had started for them....when they were laughing and watching a movie till they both fell asleep cuddled up, he finally allowed his body to relax. She was safe, she was in his arms and she was his to protect and when he could no longer keep his eyes open he finally allowed himself to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been weeks, life is really getting in the way but I am committed to finishing these two stories so I ask that you are just patient with me. Thanks to all who have read and commented. I love reading your comments.

Chapter 16

Logan was tired but he had a lot he wanted to accomplish, and not that much time. After Rory's admission last night he had drifted in and out of a light sleep but woke up each and every time he felt Rory tense or call out in her sleep. It broke his heart and at the same time made him want to go and pummel the man that hurt her. 

He knew sooner or later he would have to let himself process everything she had told him but now was not the time. He needed to be there to comfort her not the other way around and he knew sooner or later he would break....even now the tears of sadness and anger were just waiting to fall and he would allow himself his grief over knowing that she had lived through such pain but it could wait. 

Rory of course woke up and put on a brave face. She did not want to talk about it again and Logan could understand. He wanted to make her smile so earlier in the morning, before Rory woke up he had enlisted Stephanie. Without going into any details about what had transpired he asked her if she would go shopping with Rory for a dress for the gala. Of course Stephanie never would say no to shopping and Rory had mentioned to him the other day wanting to go out to look for something to wear to the event so he knew the plan would sound genuine. 

Now allowing him to purchase the dress was another story. He had to admit, seeing Rory all fired up about being able to buy her own dress turned him on....a lot, but he tempered that feeling back and just enjoyed the fire that she was showing. She said she was more than capable of buying her own dress, he argued that it was an event for his family so he should purchase it. By the time that Stephanie appeared as she had stayed over at the guys dorm with Juliet and Rosemary since they all had come in late from a party they were at a stale-mate. Both Rory and Logan were staring each other down, arms crossed over their chests and Stephanie just broke out in laughter. After getting the full story she played Judge Judy and by the time that Rory and she left to meet up with Rosemary and Juliet for shopping it had been decided that Rory would pay for her dress but Logan would pay for her shoes, and Stephanie would make sure there were really nice shoes. 

Now he was on his way to his first stop of the day. Driving down the road he passed the Welcome to Stars Hallow sign and he made a right turn towards the road that would bring him to what was once the Independence Inn. Parking his car out front he second guessed himself about not calling before he arrived. He was not even sure that Mia would be home or have the time to talk to him. 

Ringing the bell, he heard her call out that she was coming and suddenly the door opened and Mia stood there with a smile. 

"Logan, how are you? Rory did not mention you guys were coming for a visit? Is she still in the car?" Mia asked as she looked out past Logan expecting to see Rory following behind him. 

"Actually she isn't with me. She is shopping with our friend Stephanie. She was looking for a dress for this dinner she will be attending with me" he explained as she motioned him to follow her into the house. She led him back into the kitchen. 

"She mentioned the gala, she seems very excited. Knowing Rory she is just excited to spend the evening surrounded by books" Mia said with a laugh as she motioned to a coffee cup and Logan nodded. 

"I definitely think it was the books that got her to agree to attend. Anyway Stephanie was spending the day with her so she could find a dress for the occasion". 

"And you thought you would come visit me? Not that I do not enjoy visits and well I can't very well twenty question you with Rory around so this is an opportune time for me but I am sure that you have a reason yourself for visiting. Stars Hallow is a pretty far drive for a cup of coffee, even when the coffee comes from Luke's" Mia said with a smile. 

"You are right, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about but coffee from Luke's, it really is good and I would say worth the drive" he said with a laugh, trying to calm himself before their conversation would begin, as then there were be no laughter between them. 

"Is Rory ok? I am sure she is the topic of the conversation it looks like we are going to have" Mia said with a smile. 

"She is, I mean she is ok but...." 

"Logan, you can talk to me. I know you understand I cannot betray her confidences, but if I can reassure you in any way I can". 

"She has nightmares. Stephanie mentioned them and I have witnessed them. She doesn't wake up, but she is clearly upset and she calls out in her sleep...not that I am sleeping in her room or anything, I mean we have fallen asleep in the common room watching TV" Logan added on as Mia smiled at him. 

"Rory has mentioned that you have movie marathons, so I would assume that there is plenty of opportunity for you to all fall asleep" she assured him. 

"Well she had one a few weeks ago and I was sure she was calling out to Jess to stop. When she wakes up she does not remember anything or at least she does not mention anything. I did not want to ask her and that was the first time that whatever she was calling out was anywhere near coherent. I wasn’t sure what to do. It hurts me to see her in pain, but I did not want to cause more pain by bringing it up…..”

“So you came to talk to me”.

“Actually I called Dean when it happened”.

“I did not know you were in contact with each other?” Mia seemed a bit surprised at that.

“I thought about coming to see you, but I wasn’t sure when I would get here. It’s not like Dean and I are talking about her behind her back, it was actually the first time I called him. We exchanged numbers, you know just as an emergency back-up. Probably more for me than him. I know he and Rory talk regularly”.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. Not in the least. I am glad Rory has had his support all these years. I will admit when I met him before the Thanksgiving break I was a bit jealous” he said with a shy smile.

“He has been a very good friend to her. Like a brother. Definitely very different feelings then what you feel I can assume?” Mia asked figuring she might as well know his intentions from his view, already getting bits and pieces from Rory.

“I love her….I know it is fast, I mean I haven’t said the words, I promised her we could take this one day at a time and I would never push her but I love her. I think from that first moment when she almost knocked me over. It’s weird, I never wanted a relationship, too many complications but with Rory…..”.

“With Rory?”

“I can’t see my life without her. You would think that would scare me but it doesn’t. I just….I just need to be there for her”.

“Well you have my blessing just so you know” Mia said with a smile. “I was worried. I mean Yale was her dream and I wanted it so badly for her but, well I was worried that she was so closed off she would just work and study. You and your friends mean a great deal to her and you seem to understand what she needs”.

“I want to give her what she needs. I just want to be there for her, I want her to know she can trust me”.

“She does Logan. That I can share with you”.

“I’m glad that she does. I would never betray her and calling Dean, it wasn’t to betray her I was just scared and did not know who to ask. Not that I needed to know what the nightmares were about, I just needed….”

“Some guidance?”

“Yeah. In a way, I just needed some form of direction so I could better prepare myself to be there for her. When I told Dean he seemed surprised that she was calling out Jess. He tried to hide it but I could tell in his reaction that the name surprised him. He said all Rory ever mentioned about him was that he was one of the foster kids at the Millers and that he was an annoyance. He said she never mentioned any event that he felt would warrant her having nightmares”.

“Has she had more nightmares? Has she called out Jess since that one time?”

“Yes. She has had nightmares but she hasn’t been as coherent in calling out his name since. I think she is but I could be projecting what I heard the last time” Logan said taking a breath.

“Mia, from what Dean said Jess was an annoyance and maybe she just was dreaming of him annoying her and she was calling out for him to stop but….”

“But you have a feeling that was not it?” Mia asked him.

“She told me about Russ” Logan said softly.

“How did that come up in conversation….I hope you don’t think the question forward. I am glad she trusted you with that. For her to tell you it shows her trust in you…she hardly talks about it. I know that Dean knows, she told me once that she had told him but that was after a few years so for her to tell you, it shows the immense trust she has in you”. 

“We were talking and I slipped and called her my girlfriend. I did not mean to just blurt it out like that, especially as we were just taking each day as it came but I wanted her to understand how I saw her, in terms of respect, that I would never hurt her that she isn’t just some girl to me and….she kind of got quiet and I thought it was because she was feeling pressured so I told her that we can just keep our relationship how it was and that I was sorry to make her feel pressured or rushed and then she told me she liked the idea of being my girlfriend but she was worried because….because…”

“Because she is scared of being intimate or that she might not be able to” Mia said knowing Rory well and she could almost see the conversation playing out in her head.

Logan nodded feeling a bit weird talking about this with Mia but he knew he could trust her. “I would never pressure her to do something she was not ready for and I tried to explain it to her. That just being with her, holding her hand....kissing her. That all that is intimacy and that there is no timetable and that when she was ready, no matter how long I would take care of her. I assumed she was a virgin and I respect that, I mean I really respect that and that I would wait until she was ready to take that step and then she told me that she was not a virgin and what her mother’s boyfriend did and….oh my heart broke for her. I have never felt hatred towards anyone but when she told me but I could not let her see that. I did not want her to think I pity her or see her as weak because she isn’t. She is the strongest person I have ever met and she just amazes me”.

Mia smiled….”She amazes me as well. She had been hurt so much in her short life, never having a real family or support”.

“But she has you”.

“Yes and having her with me was such a joy but it breaks my heart knowing what she went through before she got here. I tried to give her a lifetime of love but some scars run deep. What Russ did….”

“She said she wished she could come to me clean. That she was dirty but I told her he was the one who was dirty not her. Hearing her tell me what happened, her sobbing against me….I know nothing I can say or do can fix what she went through but I can take care of her and love her but…..”

“Logan you can ask me whatever you need too. If I feel like I cannot break her confidence I will tell you”.

“I am glad she told me about Russ. As hard as it was to hear and I have not really processed it I am glad because it lets me understand her more. It lets me take care of her better but something just does not add up. The nightmare she had when she called out Jess, it seemed to emotional for it just to be that he annoyed her and I am worried….I just need to try to prepare myself if there is more you know, so I can get a better handle on how to be there for her. I don’t even know what I am asking really….or maybe I do and I am just scared for the answer but….is there more? I mean the nightmares she has been having about Jess, am I just seeing something that is not there or is there something she hasn’t told me yet. Can there be even something worse than what she had already gone though. I am just scared for her and I don’t want to make a mistake and I…..I just feel lost. I don’t know what to do for her”.

Mia took a deep breath. She was debating on how she should handle this. A part never wanted to betray Rory but in this case would she really be betraying her? How could she betray her when Rory herself had no memory. Maybe Logan knowing, maybe if he was prepared….if she was having more nightmares it could mean that those memories were coming to the surface. It scared her to think how Rory would react, would this be the final catalyst that breaks her, or would finally remembering maybe set her free.  
She weighed the options in her mind and tried to find a way to tell Logan what he needed to know.

“Logan, did Rory ever tell you about the day she came to me?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. She said after the courts took her out of her mother’s care again she went to the Millers. That her mom showed up one day, trying to get her to leave with her and that she grabbed her but that her foster father showed up and got rid of her mom and then she came here”.

Mia looked at him with a smile that did not reach her eyes. “Rory suffers from dissociative amnesia. In some cases a person can forget a bunch of memories or just one specific memory. The memories all usually surround a traumatic event. In Rory’s case it is one specific memory about the day she was brought here. Her therapist feels that her mind just does not want to face the memory so she has selectively, not coconsciously however, deleted the memory from the events that took place that day. She has described the day she came here the same way since the day she arrived. The doctors felt that she would probably never remember since she hasn’t in so long but her therapist warned against that belief. She felt with time those memories would slowly start to come to the surface and it seems like they are from what you are telling me”.

“So this Jess, he was involved?” Logan asked.

Mia nodded. “He was. Logan I am going on a limb here. While I believe that Rory’s past is hers to share on her own in this instance she can’t. And while a part of me hopes that she never remembers, the other part, deep down knows that it has been sitting there, just on the edge of her memory and that one day it would all come out and I am scared for her. While sharing her past is something I would never do, I know she trusts you, for her to tell you about Russ….and if she does remember, well you are the one she is with the most and someone needs to be prepared so I am going to share with you the events of that day but you can never let her know Logan, even if she remembers, she needs to share this with you on her own, do you understand?”

Hartford – Huntzberger Home 

Logan sat in his car outside his family home with his head resting on the back of the seat trying, without much success to calm himself enough so that he could go see his father and then get back to school to see Rory.  
He understood now why Mia was hesitant to share truth and why she was scared about Rory remembering. A part of him was glad Mia had shared what happened with him, at least he would be prepared not that being prepared would help him much if Rory remembered. His heart broke at hearing what she had gone through, he could not even imagine what Rory would feel when and if she remembered. But he needed to put it in the back of his mind so that he could be the Logan that Rory was expecting when he returned to school. The one that would be strong for her but also allowed her to be strong for herself. He would not ever let her know the heartbreak he felt, the powerless feelings of knowing that he could never take this painful memories away for her….but he would be there for her, he would be strong for her and he would love her through it all. He was determined.

Taking a deep breath he made his way out of the car and headed towards the house. He opened the door and was bombarded by his mother before he even stepped out of the foyer.

“Logan I am so glad you are here, I was just going to call you. Now Laura will be expecting you on Saturday at 6 PM to pick her up for the gala, I told her that you are delighted to be escorting her and of course you will sit at our table and….”

“What are you talking about mom. I am not taking Laura Fallon to the gala”.

“Yes you are. She is the right kind of girl that belongs on your arm. I set it up with her mother so I need you to be there on time and….”

“Mom. I am not taking Laura to the gala so I think that you need to call Mrs. Fallon and explain to her your confusion. I have a date for the gala and even if I didn’t I am a grown man, I do not need you setting up dates for me”.

“Logan I know the kind of woman you dally with at school but they are not a suitable wife for a Huntzberger man and you need to start showing that you are ready for the next step in your life and that is taking on a role at HPG with the right kind of woman. Laura is perfect and….”

“Mother….I am not taking Laura with me to the gala. I have a date, one that dad approves up so if you don’t mind I need to go talk to my father and I think you have a call to make” Logan said as he started to walk towards his dad’s office.

“What do you mean you have a date and your father approves. You will just have to cancel the date with her, I am not calling Marissa back to tell her that you are not going with Laura. She and her family will be there and….”

“There you are Logan. What is going on out here?” Mitchum said as he walked out of his office.

“Mitchum, I set up Logan to take Laura Fallon to the gala and Logan says he has a date. He does not understand that he will just have to cancel and….”

“Shira, he is not cancelling. You will be cancelling this arrangement you made with Marissa. First off your son is grown, he can pick out his own date and he actually did quite well, Rory is a sweetheart, smart, articulate and intelligent, she is perfect for Logan as well as she is attending this gala as I want her there. Secondly, even if he did not have a date, Laura Fallon? Please the girl does not have anything but marbles rolling around in her brain. She is a clone of her mother and as his mother you should want better for him that a brainless twit who is being trained by her mother to sell herself to the highest bidder. Now go make your calls Shira, I am done with this conversation. Come Logan we can talk in my office” Mitchum said dismissing his wife as he walked with his son to his office and closed the door.

Mitchum closed the door and turned to see Logan with his head in his hands.

“Logan, are you ok? I am sorry about your mother but I promise I will…..Logan?” Mitchum said as his son lifted his head as tears rolled down his face.

“Logan what happened? Is it Rory? Did you have a fight?” Mitchum asked ot really sure how to handle seeing his son, a son that up until a few weeks ago he really did not communicate with, a son who never allowed anyone to see his emotions.

Logan wiped his face and nodded. “I’m fine, I am really fine I just….well it has been a hard couple of days and I guess mom bombarding me with her stupidity I just….I think I let the stress get to me, I really am fine” Logan said surprised that he allowed himself to be overcome with emotions and more so that he allowed his father to see him like that.

“Logan, what is going on? Is there anything I can help you with? Are you….god I feel like an amateur and I guess I am in this father role. I don’t like seeing you upset and if there is anything I can do to help you, I would, I hope you know that”.

“I do, I actually know you would and you have been great and doing so much to help Rory. I will be fine…Rory, well she just has been having a hard time and it’s hard for me to see her hurting and knowing I cannot do anything to help her you know? I mean I listen and I am there for her but….it’s not fair dad. She is such a good person and I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that she had gone through so much and really never had anyone to support her, to stand by her. What is worse is she was a kid, how a system can fail someone I just, it makes me mad. I try to hold it in you know, I never want her to think I was pitying her or something because I am not. I mean she is the strongest person I have ever known, she leaves me in awe but I hurt knowing she was hurt. I just wish I could take all the bad memories from her so she can just be happy and not scared. I just want her to….dad I love her so much and I can’t take away her pain and it just makes me so mad”.

Mitchum listened to his son. The son who last year gave him angina with his hijinks, the son he thought would never really amount to anything and deep down he could not even blame him because what kind of parent had he been. His kids were raised by nannies, so they had good schooling and they had money but none of that made up for anything and here his son was….and he was hurting and he had no idea how to make this better for his son, there were no words, no one to pay off to make this better. Instead of saying anything he sat down next to his son and hugged him. It was probably the first real son he shared with his son since he was a little boy. Mitchum expected that Logan would pull away but instead he felt Logan drop his head to his father’s shoulder and he felt his son’s body shake with his tears and he tightened his arms around his son and just held him, hoping that while he could not take his son’s pain away at least maybe he could give him comfort.

Logan finally pulled away….”I’m sorry I did not mean to be so….I mean, forget it. I just…..”

“Logan. I cannot imagine what Rory went through and I would never expect you to share with me anything that she has told you but I can only imagine based on the few things she has shared with me that he life was filled with a lot of pain. When you love someone, their pain is yours and it truly breaks my heart to see you hurting, but it also leaves me in awe of what an amazing man you have become. To see you caring for her, being strong for her….to see you have compassion, to love her especially since you never got to see any of that here in your home and that was my fault….”

“Dad we have been through this. I understand. You did what you had to do but Honor and I knew you loved us and you are here for me now….”

“It will never be enough but I am here for you and for Rory. Logan, It is not easy, what you are doing. You are being strong for her and I understand why you are holding back sharing your feelings from her but you need to express yourself as well, if not it will not do any good to her or you. If I can at least be a person you can confide in, even if you just need to rant then let me. Let me shoulder some of your burden for you Logan so this way you can be strong for her….but one day, she will need you to express your feelings to her as well, you do know that, don’t you?”

Logan nodded. “I know, I don’t like holding back my feelings from her but for now….she needs to get stronger and I think finding more information about her family will help. It’s just she is hurting dad and while I know she would do anything to comfort me, right now I need to be her comfort”.

Mitchum smiled….”She is lucky to have you. Does she know you are in love with her?”

“I haven’t said the exact words, I don’t want to overwhelm her. She knows I see her in my future and she says she sees me in hers. But we are moving at a snail’s pace, I mean day by day, it is what she can handle now and I am ok with it. It was just the other day that I think we actually became a couple, I mean I have been committed to her since I met her but well I told her I saw her as my girlfriend and he was ok with the idea ” Logan said with a half-smile.

“You are moving at the right pace for the both of you. I actually think it is a refreshing change for you, do you agree?” Mitchum said with a laugh.

“It is but she is so worth it and I never well…dad I never really wanted to get to know any of the girls I was seeing”.

“Oh is seeing what you called what you were doing?” Mitchum said with a smirk.

“Whatever it was it is in my past. I….every day I learn something new about her, we never run out of conversation, we can sit in silence and it is the most peaceful calm I ever felt just being with her”.

“I am happy for you Logan. I really am and proud and I truly like Rory and I want you to know I will be there for the both of you through this and after. I….well I really hope we can build upon our relationship in the future and that includes one with Rory as well”.  
“I would like that dad and Rory will as well. She likes you and more importantly she trusts you and that means so much to me, more than anything else you have given her someone she can trust. I want to thank you for that”.

“It is my pleasure…..now I called you here for a reason. I am sure you want out of this house and I think I might just join you once we are through. I received a call from the PI that I have working on Rory’s file. He called me this morning and he has some information. He is just waiting on some confirmations but I have a meeting with him on Monday. I wanted to know your schedule to see if you and Rory could meet? We can come to Yale, I actually think that might be best, she will be comfortable on her own turf and this way it won’t mess up with your class schedule”.

“Wow, information…..I don’t think either of us were expecting anything so soon but maybe this will be a turning point for her. I hope whatever we find out is a positive thing. She does not need any more negativity in her life. Monday works though. We both have classes in the morning but we have the afternoon off and we usually are at the Daily News but we could meet you at the pub or if you think it would be better we can meet at my dorm. Colin and Finn both have afternoon classes”.

“Well I will talk to our guy and let you know on Saturday what time we will be there. I am hoping for the same this for Rory, I want whatever we can find to be something that will make her happy but….well Logan you need to know that even if whatever we find out isn’t good, she has you. You need to realize your worth to her, I think she wants answers but having you with her while she does, good or bad is what will matter the most to her”.

New Haven 

“So are you sure that the dress looked ok?” Rory asked as she and Stephanie walked towards her car. They had spent the morning shopping with Juliet and Rosemary and had stopped for lunch. The other girls were heading out to do a bit more shopping and Rory and Stephanie were heading back to school to meet up with Colin and Logan.

“The dress looked amazing and the shoes….make sure you remind Logan about the shoes” Stephanie said laughing.

“Ok, I still don’t know why it is so important about them being Jimmy Choo’s, will Logan understand the reference?”

“Oh he will, you can let him know I picked them out, but make sure you let him know you felt they were very comfortable”.

“Are you sure they did not cost too much?” Rory asked as Stephanie had insisted on going to the register for her while Rory looked at a few accessories.

“They were on sale remember?” Stephanie said with a smile as they turned the corner towards the parking garage.

Stephanie opened the car door and turned towards Rory…..”So you want to see if the guys want to go to the pub tonight or do you want to order in? Rory? Hey….Ror?” 

Stephanie turned and saw her friend standing frozen in place. Her eyes were wide open as if she was in shock, her pallor had turned an ghostly white and she seemed to be struggling for breath…..

“Rory sweetie, what is the matter? Rory?” Stephanie asked as she took Rory’s hand and it was cold to the touch. She heard the whistling sound as Rory tried to catch her breath.

“Ok sweetie, come into the car, we are going to the hospital ok? You are going to be ok. Just hang on Rory” Stephanie said, her own voice breaking as she struggled to get Rory in the car, it was almost as her body was rigid. She got the seatbelt around her and jumped into her seat and started the car.

Thankfully the hospital was close by, she would rather take her to Hartford by New Haven General would have to do she realized as she grabbed her phone with one hand….

“Hey you guys on your way back?” Logan asked when he heard Stephanie’s voice.

“Logan meet us at New Haven General, something is wrong with Rory” Stephanie said as she held the phone with her shoulder as she started to drive quicker.

“What do you mean something is wrong with Rory?” Logan said in a panic.

“I don’t know Logan she was fine one minute and…..Rory….no come on Rory. Logan just meet us at the hospital and I think you might want to call Mia. I know Rory says she has her medical information we will probably need it” she said hanging up the phone.  
“Rory you need to breath, please Rory just hold on we are almost there” Stephanie begged as she pulled into the emergency room entrance and stopped the car near one of the ambulance banks.

“Please someone help me….my friend can’t breathe” she called out as two EMTs ran towards the car.

Everything happened in slow motion. The EMTs ran with a gurney. The tried to lift her up and out of the car to help her up while another came running with a portable oxygen tank. As they lifted her onto the gurney and tried to buckle her on she suddenly started to fight….

“No don’t, please don’t stop it…..no Jess please I said stop…..oh God…..Nooooooooooooooo” she screamed out as her body started to convulse as the EMTs just held her down trying to get the oxygen on her as her body shook on the gurney.  
Stephanie stood there with tears in her eyes…….

“Miss, are you her friend?” a nurse asked who came out of the ER entrance.

“She is my best friend, please I need to be with her. Her boyfriend is coming and I need to stay with her so she isn’t alone, please I need to…..”

“Come let’s go in and we can see what we can find out. She is going to be ok, you got her here so she could get help. You did really good” the nurse said soothingly as she led Stephanie into the hospital.


End file.
